Crashing oneself for the need to feel lowly

I think I understand your meaning here...Though I cant say that I have done it on purpose but yes I function at my best when I have hit the bottom and have to crawl back out...

 

Not for me, I detest the feeling of crashing down in the sense that you said, so so much. Not worth it for me.

 

oooh inspirational, I love the fact that you are so passionate about it.
I actually hate feeling lowly, I detest it but sometimes I allow myself to fill that role sort of, victimizing myself by feeling sorry for myself. It's so demented but sometimes it happens.
Honestly I think it is because we have an expectation on something and prepare ourselves in accordance to this expectation. Like last week, I was certain I had failed my various exams, so I became depressed and sad due to that (without knowing for sure I let myself crash, not necessarily on purpose but because my expectation was irrational)

OH I really want to understand what you are desperately trying to say. Please bare with me and try some more. My heart is with you, if only I could undercover what you desperately want to say though.

 

Infjs (and infps, too!) are catalysts and perfectionists always striving towards change and growth (as the theory says..) So that means we have no choice in our life but to grow and become stronger, it's in our natures.

I am not INFJ, but I think I know just what you mean..
I feel I work my hardest and am most efficient when I have many obstacles in my way. Though I don't create problems or intentionally 'crash' myself, I do have thoughts occurr in which I realize how bored I am and I feel as if I am not learning or growing experientially.

I don't think it is a healthy thing to intentionally sabotage yourself just to challenge your inner strength, if that is what you mean. I think it is healthier to embrace the next disaster as a chance to learn and grow stronger from, though.

I'm interested in the need to feel 'lowly' part. Do you mean the need to be humbled? I think we are more open to learn when we are humble. Both Confucious and Socrates said something to the effect of: "To admit that you know nothing is the beginning of wisdom."

Really interesting post, Justme!

 

I would like to add...I do not enjoy the feeling of falling that far...Though If I have to strive to get to my goal I work more efficiently...

 

I know what you mean, I am a perfectionist myself. I love to triumph and I strive to succeed. This is the only way I can distinguish myself you know, and well its the only way I feel I matter... The only way I feel that my environment likes me and does not consider me a failed invisible nobody.

In my case often if I let myself 'crash' so to say, it is by means easier to rise up. Take for example grades (not literally) I go from a B to an E, which is the crash. Then it is easier to climb up again and notice the improvement from E to D and D to C and feel proud and happy right?
However the initial improvement is sometimes so damn hard to go accomplish, like from B to A. Therefore a crash to E has to occur like some sort of defense mechanism in order to feel some self worth again.

 

I've actually been musing within myself on whether or not to show up to work or class, losing my job and house and failing school because then the next logical thing to do would be to go and live in the mountains, seeking solace as a transcendentalist...

But I probably won't.

 

Sometimes I like crashing although I dont do it on purpose.
Afterawhile doing things will start to make me take things for granted. The crash is a good way to remind me that I need to work and fight for it. It also allows me to have more alone time

 

Crashing can give you some irreplaciable insight to let you grow as a person. As you said though, I don't do it on purpose.

 

OK withdraw i can give you I do constantly and frequently and on purpose...Some times i just need to recharge the old batteries!

 

I am sick with a cold right now (damn inversion)...but have been sick for months...I have to have surgery in a couple months

 

Wow how passionate and blissful Thanks for sharing