Crashing oneself for the need to feel lowly | INFJ Forum

Crashing oneself for the need to feel lowly

just me

just me

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Feb 8, 2009
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Feeling a bit inspired tonight, but needing some feedback: I would think most here have to take time to recharge after certain things, as it is in the profile of the Counselor. The profile is pretty to-the-point about "after socializing".
I agree to a certain point, but do seem a bit puzzled why the profile stops there.
When stepping into a physical situation with lots of folk I do not know, it does drain me dearly. Maybe it is possible for the infj to become stronger with time and age; maybe not. Yet, I must ask: do any of you crash yourself on purpose for that feeling you are so used to of trying to build yourself back up again? Do any of you crash and burn to challenge the process of renewing your inner strength? Do you feel sometimes you would function better poor or tired? Do you feel the need to feel somewhat lowly for awhile at times? If so, are we being prepared for something or are we preparing ourselves for something we do not yet understand may happen in the near future? Do any of you out there relate to what I am trying so desperately to say?
 
I think I understand your meaning here...Though I cant say that I have done it on purpose but yes I function at my best when I have hit the bottom and have to crawl back out...
 
Not for me, I detest the feeling of crashing down in the sense that you said, so so much. Not worth it for me.
 
oooh inspirational, I love the fact that you are so passionate about it.
I actually hate feeling lowly, I detest it but sometimes I allow myself to fill that role sort of, victimizing myself by feeling sorry for myself. It's so demented but sometimes it happens.
Honestly I think it is because we have an expectation on something and prepare ourselves in accordance to this expectation. Like last week, I was certain I had failed my various exams, so I became depressed and sad due to that (without knowing for sure I let myself crash, not necessarily on purpose but because my expectation was irrational)

OH I really want to understand what you are desperately trying to say. Please bare with me and try some more. My heart is with you, if only I could undercover what you desperately want to say though.
 
Maybe the act of allowing it to happen would sound much better. I love being on top of my game, so to speak, as do most folk. However, I feel sometimes stronger when I am weak.
 
Infjs (and infps, too!) are catalysts and perfectionists always striving towards change and growth (as the theory says..) So that means we have no choice in our life but to grow and become stronger, it's in our natures.

I am not INFJ, but I think I know just what you mean..
I feel I work my hardest and am most efficient when I have many obstacles in my way. Though I don't create problems or intentionally 'crash' myself, I do have thoughts occurr in which I realize how bored I am and I feel as if I am not learning or growing experientially.

I don't think it is a healthy thing to intentionally sabotage yourself just to challenge your inner strength, if that is what you mean. I think it is healthier to embrace the next disaster as a chance to learn and grow stronger from, though.

I'm interested in the need to feel 'lowly' part. Do you mean the need to be humbled? I think we are more open to learn when we are humble. Both Confucious and Socrates said something to the effect of: "To admit that you know nothing is the beginning of wisdom."

Really interesting post, Justme!
 
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I would like to add...I do not enjoy the feeling of falling that far...Though If I have to strive to get to my goal I work more efficiently...
 
just me said:
Maybe the act of allowing it to happen would sound much better. I love being on top of my game, so to speak, as do most folk. However, I feel sometimes stronger when I am weak.
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I know what you mean, I am a perfectionist myself. I love to triumph and I strive to succeed. This is the only way I can distinguish myself you know, and well its the only way I feel I matter... The only way I feel that my environment likes me and does not consider me a failed invisible nobody.

In my case often if I let myself 'crash' so to say, it is by means easier to rise up. Take for example grades (not literally) I go from a B to an E, which is the crash. Then it is easier to climb up again and notice the improvement from E to D and D to C and feel proud and happy right?
However the initial improvement is sometimes so damn hard to go accomplish, like from B to A. Therefore a crash to E has to occur like some sort of defense mechanism in order to feel some self worth again.
 
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I've actually been musing within myself on whether or not to show up to work or class, losing my job and house and failing school because then the next logical thing to do would be to go and live in the mountains, seeking solace as a transcendentalist...

But I probably won't.
 
Do we not sometimes take things for granted? Do we not forget the little things that meant so much once before? Do we not find the need to reach back every now and then? Finding a stone I found in the sand after a rain years ago, I remember the happiness without the luxuries. I feel sometimes I learned more in sorrow, felt more in need; related more to others when I was lowly. This lowliness is what I speak of, like digressing from the current state of being for awhile. I do not mean completely being without, though the thought intrigues me for some reason.
 
Sometimes I like crashing although I dont do it on purpose.
Afterawhile doing things will start to make me take things for granted. The crash is a good way to remind me that I need to work and fight for it. It also allows me to have more alone time ;)
 
Grey Wolf said:
Sometimes I like crashing although I dont do it on purpose.
Afterawhile doing things will start to make me take things for granted. The crash is a good way to remind me that I need to work and fight for it. It also allows me to have more alone time ;)
Click to expand...

Crashing can give you some irreplaciable insight to let you grow as a person. As you said though, I don't do it on purpose.
 
Sometimes people crash a bit and don't even know it, like after the loss of a dear friend or family member. Now that we have discussed this enough, I can use the word "drained". Didn't want to use that in the intro. "Withdraw" is another good word to use. I once withdrew at the loss of a family member and the following events; just needed some time, I guess. Was living day to day after three years of it. Can't say those were bad times at all. As an older adult watching friends retire now, I can see the damage done. I have no regrets today, but my life could have been much easier materially had I kept with the program.
 
OK withdraw i can give you I do constantly and frequently and on purpose...Some times i just need to recharge the old batteries!
 
Hope you feel better soon. You have shown yourself to be sick.
 
just me said:
Hope you feel better soon. You have shown yourself to be sick.
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I am sick with a cold right now (damn inversion)...but have been sick for months...I have to have surgery in a couple months :(
 
When we pour ourselves out, so to speak, we go through a time period of staying there. Then, we feel the need to fill ourselves up again. Searching helps to clear the mind. Finding something, we keep it and move on to something else. This has helped me today. I hope it may help at least someone else.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZelz9gEImY
Some folk are so gifted it amazes me sometimes. I will add this to the cup.

...with the violin...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skGEHuejc-s&feature=related
http://noolmusic.com/google_videos/winter_sonata_my_memory_piano_version.php
Found another really peaceful version...
 
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