How do you send your Message?
Amongst many other details when it comes to relationships, [whether working or intimate], and communication, it’s useful to be aware of the difference between two basic ways to express a wish or a request:
directing and informing
Directing style expresses a wish, a request or a demand directly: “Shut the window”, or more gently: “Shut the window, please”, “Would you mind shutting the window?”, or even, “Maybe you could shut the window?” Regardless of all the added courtesies and mollification, the request is still clear and unambiguous.
Informing style is descriptive and indirect; it gives information in which a suggestion or a wish is implied as a possibility, for example: “It’s too noisy in here with the window open!” Informing people prefer to motivate than to express expectations.
Needless to say, the difference between these two communication styles can often cause misunderstanding and frustration. An “informant” might ask, “Would you like an ice-cream?” when it’s actually they who would like an ice-cream. “Directing” people might not understand the embedded wish, so if they say, “No”, the possibility of compromise might be lost. “Informing” people then might hear “No” as a refusal of their own wish, rather than a statement of personal preference by a “directing” person.
People who use directing style might simply not notice when a request is expressed in an informing way, which might make the other person feel ignored or dismissed. If they do recognize the embedded request, “directing” people might perceive it as manipulative, passive-aggressive or even victimy. They prefer to have clarity: first, is it a request? Second: what kind of request it is? Third, how important it is? They can find informing style way too … uninformative.
“Informing” people, on the other hand, might perceive directing style as bossy, especially if used without “please” or “would you”. They might feel that such a style gives more importance to a request than to people, which is what they wish to avoid. This is not how “directing” people perceive it; for them, it’s all about clarity.
For the rest...
https://www.mentor-coach.eu/blog/?p=161
Here is a link to 'test' your communication style...yes its a link to an INFJ forum thread with the link to the quiz in it. (Among other pertinent info
)
http://communication-styles.com/
https://www.infjs.com/threads/communication-style-quiz.21614/
Now that you have taken the quiz, what important points can be shared about how you communicate?
Do you think you communicate effectively?
Do you think you may appear 'bossy' or 'weak-willed' to others?
What tips can you offer others to assist them with effective communication to utilize these skills their own lives?
Amongst many other details when it comes to relationships, [whether working or intimate], and communication, it’s useful to be aware of the difference between two basic ways to express a wish or a request:
directing and informing
Directing style expresses a wish, a request or a demand directly: “Shut the window”, or more gently: “Shut the window, please”, “Would you mind shutting the window?”, or even, “Maybe you could shut the window?” Regardless of all the added courtesies and mollification, the request is still clear and unambiguous.
Informing style is descriptive and indirect; it gives information in which a suggestion or a wish is implied as a possibility, for example: “It’s too noisy in here with the window open!” Informing people prefer to motivate than to express expectations.
Needless to say, the difference between these two communication styles can often cause misunderstanding and frustration. An “informant” might ask, “Would you like an ice-cream?” when it’s actually they who would like an ice-cream. “Directing” people might not understand the embedded wish, so if they say, “No”, the possibility of compromise might be lost. “Informing” people then might hear “No” as a refusal of their own wish, rather than a statement of personal preference by a “directing” person.
People who use directing style might simply not notice when a request is expressed in an informing way, which might make the other person feel ignored or dismissed. If they do recognize the embedded request, “directing” people might perceive it as manipulative, passive-aggressive or even victimy. They prefer to have clarity: first, is it a request? Second: what kind of request it is? Third, how important it is? They can find informing style way too … uninformative.
“Informing” people, on the other hand, might perceive directing style as bossy, especially if used without “please” or “would you”. They might feel that such a style gives more importance to a request than to people, which is what they wish to avoid. This is not how “directing” people perceive it; for them, it’s all about clarity.
For the rest...
https://www.mentor-coach.eu/blog/?p=161
Here is a link to 'test' your communication style...yes its a link to an INFJ forum thread with the link to the quiz in it. (Among other pertinent info
)http://communication-styles.com/
https://www.infjs.com/threads/communication-style-quiz.21614/
Now that you have taken the quiz, what important points can be shared about how you communicate?
Do you think you communicate effectively?
Do you think you may appear 'bossy' or 'weak-willed' to others?
What tips can you offer others to assist them with effective communication to utilize these skills their own lives?
