Changes to what makes someone a great catch | Page 4 | INFJ Forum

Changes to what makes someone a great catch

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Jul 22, 2020.

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  1. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome
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    @Wyote - It seems pretty obvious that you are a good-hearted potato all of the time, even when you're an angry potato.
     
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  2. mintoots

    mintoots Dreaming of homeostasis
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    Is there a bed-potato? Because I'm that.
     
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  3. Themis

    Themis Community Member

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    Almost all relationships suffer from lack of love! This is why our life is hard, this is why so many difficulties

    Its not the flames that makes hell unbearable, its the absence of love
     
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  4. Wyote

    Wyote ┄⍹┄
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    The couch is a roll-out bed :wink:
     
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  5. Krypton

    Krypton Community Member

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    I'm amazed people plan this much, especially when they're young. My thought process for relationships when I was a teenager was (and really it still is) "they'll last however long they last, as long as they don't end because of rejection I'm okay with it."

    Well, it was usually my thought process. I've wanted more time before. Though the more I hear about long term relationships and the people inside them, the more they sound kind of awful and make me want to never do that.

    All true here.
     
  6. Wyote

    Wyote ┄⍹┄
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    Thank you, I try <3
     
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  7. mintoots

    mintoots Dreaming of homeostasis
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    Floor potato
    Beach potato
    Yoga mat potato

    Potato-ness is the most important bit of the list.
     
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  8. noisebloom

    noisebloom theory conspirer
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  9. QuirkyLemonFlower

    QuirkyLemonFlower Permanent Fixture

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    What you've said is so on point.

    Yes, everyone is different in terms of what they want or looking for in a person. I've been through the whole dating scene and the friend zoned/ghosting etc, it took me ages to really trust someone and I did learn the hard way with what I should expect and what I wanted but that's my fate and there's no point in me thinking of the what if's. However, I'd tell anyone else who is looking to maintain your self-respect and know your self-worth, I can't stress enough how important that is. And also ensure you lay your cards on the table right away, that saves so much heart ache.
     
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  10. hithere

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    That's a shame.
    What makes them seem awful to you?
     
  11. Krypton

    Krypton Community Member

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    While I'm sure there are some people whose interest never wanes, the whole idea that the period of your relationship where you genuinely feel good in each other's company, want to have sex, and aren't building resentment towards each other is a "honeymoon phase" that eventually gives way to lots of mini-power struggles sucks.
     
  12. hithere

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    I don't think the relationships that last do so because somehow, naturally, the interest never waned.
    I think the honeymoon phase is necessary because getting to know and adapt to a new person can be challenging, so the excitement and the novelty kind of makes up for that.
    But having been in a relationship for nearly a decade, I think it only gets better with time.
    Of course there are ups and downs (severe downs sometimes), but I think that commitment, mutual respect, shared values, and maybe most importantly the willingness to be vulnerable make a solid foundation for overall continued growth.
    Relationships take work. This is counter-intuitive, but I think it's true: An effortless relationship might be enjoyable, but it's hard to feel attached to a person/ relationship you make no effort for. On the other hand, after the "honeymoon phase" when you make the effort to understand each other, work things out and really put the work in to making your partner feel loved, that's when you really get attached to the person and the relationship.

    Please don't lose hope yet :)!
     
    #72 hithere, Jul 29, 2020
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2020
  13. hithere

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    I also think power struggles happen when each person is fighting to be heard and seen. If each partner is emotionally mature and vulnerable enough to acknowledge that that's what they really want and they each have the ability to give that to each other, the power struggles somehow disappear. And when they creep back again, you know: I need to take a step back and see what I really need here/ or to just witness and hold space for my partner without taking things personally.
    (Not saying it's easy or that I am personally capable of always doing that...)
     
  14. QuirkyLemonFlower

    QuirkyLemonFlower Permanent Fixture

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    :tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy: thanks this will now be playing on my mind all day long :expressionless:
     
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  15. Wyote

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    The beat isn't bad tbh.
    Classy lyrics.
     
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  16. QuirkyLemonFlower

    QuirkyLemonFlower Permanent Fixture

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    I think that's why it's stuck with me now - usually catchy beats always end up playing on my internal jukebox for days on end!
     
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  17. noisebloom

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    potatoes ain't the only thing that they groooow-ooh (hell nooooooo)
     
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  18. QuirkyLemonFlower

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    I am so slow.....I only just listened to the lyrics properly now.....why did I respond to your post man:expressionless::expressionless::expressionless::expressionless::expressionless::expressionless:
     
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  19. noisebloom

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    [​IMG]
     
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  20. QuirkyLemonFlower

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    I think I really should go to bed now. Good night!

    And stop hijacking the thread! :expressionless:
     
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