Changes to what makes someone a great catch

Is there a bed-potato? Because I'm that.

 

Almost all relationships suffer from lack of love! This is why our life is hard, this is why so many difficulties

Its not the flames that makes hell unbearable, its the absence of love

 

I'm amazed people plan this much, especially when they're young. My thought process for relationships when I was a teenager was (and really it still is) "they'll last however long they last, as long as they don't end because of rejection I'm okay with it."

Well, it was usually my thought process. I've wanted more time before. Though the more I hear about long term relationships and the people inside them, the more they sound kind of awful and make me want to never do that.

All true here.

 

Floor potato
Beach potato
Yoga mat potato

Potato-ness is the most important bit of the list.

 

What you've said is so on point.

Yes, everyone is different in terms of what they want or looking for in a person. I've been through the whole dating scene and the friend zoned/ghosting etc, it took me ages to really trust someone and I did learn the hard way with what I should expect and what I wanted but that's my fate and there's no point in me thinking of the what if's. However, I'd tell anyone else who is looking to maintain your self-respect and know your self-worth, I can't stress enough how important that is. And also ensure you lay your cards on the table right away, that saves so much heart ache.

 

That's a shame.
What makes them seem awful to you?

 

While I'm sure there are some people whose interest never wanes, the whole idea that the period of your relationship where you genuinely feel good in each other's company, want to have sex, and aren't building resentment towards each other is a "honeymoon phase" that eventually gives way to lots of mini-power struggles sucks.

 

I don't think the relationships that last do so because somehow, naturally, the interest never waned.
I think the honeymoon phase is necessary because getting to know and adapt to a new person can be challenging, so the excitement and the novelty kind of makes up for that.
But having been in a relationship for nearly a decade, I think it only gets better with time.
Of course there are ups and downs (severe downs sometimes), but I think that commitment, mutual respect, shared values, and maybe most importantly the willingness to be vulnerable make a solid foundation for overall continued growth.
Relationships take work. This is counter-intuitive, but I think it's true: An effortless relationship might be enjoyable, but it's hard to feel attached to a person/ relationship you make no effort for. On the other hand, after the "honeymoon phase" when you make the effort to understand each other, work things out and really put the work in to making your partner feel loved, that's when you really get attached to the person and the relationship.

Please don't lose hope yet !

 

I also think power struggles happen when each person is fighting to be heard and seen. If each partner is emotionally mature and vulnerable enough to acknowledge that that's what they really want and they each have the ability to give that to each other, the power struggles somehow disappear. And when they creep back again, you know: I need to take a step back and see what I really need here/ or to just witness and hold space for my partner without taking things personally.
(Not saying it's easy or that I am personally capable of always doing that...)

 

thanks this will now be playing on my mind all day long

 

I think that's why it's stuck with me now - usually catchy beats always end up playing on my internal jukebox for days on end!

 

potatoes ain't the only thing that they groooow-ooh (hell nooooooo)

 

I am so slow.....I only just listened to the lyrics properly now.....why did I respond to your post man

 

I think I really should go to bed now. Good night!

And stop hijacking the thread!