Can you have one or two friends for life?

Artemisia

Artemisia

Community Member
MBTI
INFJ
I guess this question is geared more toward older members. Have you had friendships that have lasted for life?
Because, while I like many of my friends and we are pretty close, I have moved around a lot and I also find that as my career and family life have changed, so have my friendships.
Is it reasonable to expect friendships to last a lifetime or even many decades?
 
I have one. We both have a hard time making friends so I’m guessing that’s why we keep in touch. We don’t live anywhere near each other but are in frequent contact through email, text and phone. We met in 1987. My own brother is the only other person that I can relate to on the same level. A friendship like that takes some effort to maintain, but it kind of pays for itself and I can’t remember the last time I ever had negative feelings about it.
 
Artemisia said:
Because, while I like many of my friends and we are pretty close, I have moved around a lot and I also find that as my career and family life have changed, so have my friendships.
Is it reasonable to expect friendships to last a lifetime or even many decades?
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It's definitely possible. There are friends I haven't seen in years, but whom I still call every week.
 
Well although I’m not technically older (I’m in my twenties), I have one friend that I’ve been best friends with for over ten years and still going strong. Despite new paths and living in different cities, we make time to spend time with each other yearly and communicate with each other.

Granted she is also an INFJ, so it does explain why she and I get along pretty great. Didn’t find out she was an INFJ till just last month and it clarifies why our friendship has held together for so long.
 
JennyDaniella said:
Well although I’m not technically older (I’m in my twenties), I have one friend that I’ve been best friends with for over ten years and still going strong. Despite new paths and living in different cities, we make time to spend time with each other yearly and communicate with each other.

Granted she is also an INFJ, so it does explain why she and I get along pretty great. Didn’t find out she was an INFJ till just last month and it clarifies why our friendship has held together for so long.
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The Ni bond is a strong one. :)
 
Is this a challenge?

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Yes, despite distance and even years of not speaking in some cases (due to living life, mostly running away from our home town like it was on fire) I'm still close with many people from childhood, and different decades of my adulthood. The forties take a toll on people and rational, balanced people will begin acting messed up. If a friendship can make it through that, I think you're good. In my experience, just never treat a friend like you can't lose them.

Most of my closest longterm friends are long-distance, but all are INXX. Since INXXs live in their heads and hearts, I think it isn't that difficult for us to maintain brain-only friendship via social media, email, etc, even if it would be more fun to hang out in person.
 
I have a friend who I met in college, first year of undergrad. we've known each other 22 years. We've been in and out of touch in the past but we live in the same area so we see each other often. We're not as close as we used to be but still friends. We've supported each other through rough times. We get each other in ways no one else does or will. Money or life events don't matter. I saw her as a sister. We do have our issues but we've been there for each other at our worst and stuck around. Not sure I could say that about anyone I'd meet today.
 
Gaze said:
I have a friend who I met in college, first year of undergrad. we've known each other 22 years. We've been in and out of touch in the past but we live in the same area so we see each other often. We're not as close as we used to be but still friends. We've supported each other through rough times. We get each other in ways no one else does or will. Money or life events don't matter. I saw her as a sister. We do have our issues but we've been there for each other at our worst and stuck around. Not sure I could say that about anyone I'd meet today.
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This makes me happy. I get it.
 
Yes, I have several "liferz" :) We keep in touch, but often go years without seeing each other. Some use Skype or FB video chat so that technology helps...others... we still send hand-written letters and cards, (gasp :tonguewink:). Those communications with friends are extra special to me because of the thought and time taken to send a hand written note.
 
yes, definitely, my oldest friends (around 12 years of friendship) have not changed at all (maybe some of them have become more edgy and sarcastic and less trustworthy), the way we would go about parties and gatherings is very different tho. everyone has much less time and everyone has got new company, we live in different places and topics have changed and moved towards our jobs (the worse thing is when your friend is going through drama in his workplace, i just find those healing / business conversations disturbing).
outside that, i believe it is pretty hard to find people you can consider true friends, not just for the sake of convenience. mainly because as you grow older it is harder to spend the enough time with a person so you both consider your friends, you've got less opportunities in every sense.
but i've been going from here to there all my life. i guess if you live all your life in the same place you would have tons of friends and everyone would know you and stuff.

also, i heard somewhere that your life experiences from 22 to 26 will be the ones you'll remember most vividly. this conveniently works for me.
so my guess is that if this is true, then the people involved in them (even if they are not your lifetime friends) and how they shared with you at this era might make you become your definitive version, more or less.
 
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Yes.
 
I'm in my early 30s and my best friend is my cousin (INFP), who shockingly I've known all my life. I made an active decision when he started to drift away from me (when we were teenagers) that I would always be there for him regardless through thick and thin. I kept the promise I made to myself and when life brought us back together after a couple of years, our friendship grew from strength to strength. 15 years later it is one of the most precious things I cherish in my life.

My brother (ENFP who is 10 years younger than me) has become one of my best friends over the last several years. It's a bond that I could never put into words really; feel very lucky to have it.

My 'soulmate'/ex. This one's a bit more complicated and I'm still in the process of understanding it; it's a new one for me and a bit of an enigma. But rationally, we had the deepest bond I have ever felt in my life. Also had an identical outlook on life, many parallels in life, same tastes etc. Our romantic relationship has ended but the love remains. We always said we'd be here for each-other from the outset as we knew our romantic relationship was fleeting. Currently in either a transitional period into a platonic friendship or the end of the end. Time will tell; I've done my best. Either way it was the deepest friendship I have ever encountered and probably ever will and that's alright.
 
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