Can heterosexual men and women just be friends?

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I would like to believe that platonic friendships are possible, but I'm not quite sure that they really work. Especially if they find each other attractive in some way.

What are your thoughts on this subject? Personal experiences are welcomed.
 
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Yes they can but it's usually a different type of friendship. And shit can go bad quickly. Boyfriends get jealous, people catch feelings, blahblahblah....
 
chulo said:
Yes they can but it's usually a different type of friendship. And shit can go bad quickly. Boyfriends get jealous, people catch feelings, blahblahblah....
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What kind of friendship is that then?

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My answer is no.
 
To clarify for @chulo in response to his rep, I do not think that men and women are like unneutered cats, who will feel compelled to do it just because they happen to have opposite genitals and be in close proximity of one another. (And a jealous lover is no lover worth keeping anyway.)

I think the idea that men and women cant be friends is a bit silly, it's like those "straight" guys who think that every gay man in the universe automatically wants to do them. Some people, (and if you are like me, most people) you are just not sexually attracted to-- that chemistry does not exist. But you can still like and befriend someone of the other sex.

And I don't think men and women are so different inherently that they cannot comprehend one another. It depends on individuals thoughts and feelings toward one another.
 
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I believe in the thread over this topic we had previously everyone agreed that yes, men and women can have platonic relationships.
 
As long as attraction can develop between two people, it's not always possible for some couples to remain friends. If they do remain friends for long periods of time, it's usually because they are already committed to their own partners, or they tried being more than friends, but decided they were better as friends. Relationships change and evolve. Some people never experience any attraction to each other, so friendship alone isn't an issue, but when you get to know people, feelings can change. It's tough to say you can or can't because it depends on the person. Probably also depends on how close you are as friends.
 
I think it can work, but within reason.

There are very few reasons, unless both man and woman are single, to be sleeping under the same 'roof' somewhere without their significant others. IE camping, sleepovers, etc.
 
Yes they can.

Even if a guy or girl has secret thoughts of banging the other (which doesn't always happen, I know, crazy talk amirite?), if they've declared it a friendship and act as a friendship, that is what it is. Thoughts can and do happen, but what happens with those thoughts is what dictates what is, not the thoughts themselves. And as previously mentioned, these thoughts might not even be there in the first place.

These friendships can also evolve into romantic relationships. Such is the nature of life and shit.
 
Jill Hives said:
Yes they can.

Even if a guy or girl has secret thoughts of banging the other (which doesn't always happen, I know, crazy talk amirite?), if they've declared it a friendship and act as a friendship, that is what it is. Thoughts can and do happen, but what happens with those thoughts is what dictates what is, not the thoughts themselves. And as previously mentioned, these thoughts might not even be there in the first place.

These friendships can also evolve into romantic relationships. Such is the nature of life and shit.
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Does there need to be a ceremony in order to declare it a friendship?
 
Jill Hives said:
Yes they can.

Even if a guy or girl has secret thoughts of banging the other (which doesn't always happen, I know, crazy talk amirite?), if they've declared it a friendship and act as a friendship, that is what it is. Thoughts can and do happen, but what happens with those thoughts is what dictates what is, not the thoughts themselves. And as previously mentioned, these thoughts might not even be there in the first place.

These friendships can also evolve into romantic relationships. Such is the nature of life and shit.
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I agree.

I mean, there isn't a definitive yes or no answer to this question because the variable that needs to be measured is the level of maturity in each respective individual that's in the friendship. And as Jill kinda pointed out, it takes two mature people (or at least two people with aligned values) to agree that sexual interests are of a lesser priority than whatever else they share.

That said, I don't think it's very common for this to happen. Usually frustration, rejection, jealousy, etc wind up creating problems because humans aren't a reasonable species. Especially not in these matters.
 
Why must banging be more important than friendship?
 
Absolutely.

I mean, I can say that now. There was a time when I wasn't sure and maybe even thought 'No'...because I struggled to get past it.

There's a good chance saying it out loud cost me a potential relationship and, well, we weren't really good friends anyway but I think she was definitely worth getting to know better but now we don't really speak. She's still around and we're not on bad terms but we're definitely estranged.

I sort of break my own life up into the basic triumvirate of body, mind and soul.

If I do that for women as well then there are a lot who I find attractive based on their body alone. This is, honestly, the first thing I notice and it is important...to a degree. This is just based on physical features and looks and body type etc. Everyone has their preferences there, each to their own as well, I say.

The mind is, to me, if she has a clue. It doesn't mean she has to have a formal education or a career plan but she should really have something going on. I should be able to hold a conversation with her and it not be strained. I've met a few people like this so I know it is possible to just click with people on that level. How they think and talk and what sort of things spark their interest come under this kind of 'mind' aspect.

The soul is what makes them, them. It isn't about religion but it could be to do with spirituality. It also is them behind all the masks and games people play and I am no less guilty of playing even when I hated doing it.

Now, I can be friends with anyone that I get on with on the mind/soul levels. It works, we click, and usually have a good time. This can be either gender because I don't really care what my guy friends' bodies are like...none of my business :lol:. Same goes for women that I am not physically attracted to - easily, I can be friends with them.

I can't really be friends with a woman I just find physically attractive but lacks much compatibility in the mind/soul area. I guess if I was more into that, these would be the women who I might have just physical relations with but...I ain't mad on one night stands etc + lol :rolleyes: Essentially though, there are a lot of 'attractive' women around. I can't give every one of them a second thought. It's only a third of the pie.



If she has all three, I want her to be mine. I'm going to try my best to get her to be.

If I am not right for her, that sucks, but I haven't come across anyone like that yet. At least not since I've really thought about it that way. I did just get distracted by the body before and think that I couldn't just be friends but also undervalued other aspects of their person which sounds bad but...yeah.
 
I definitely think it can be done and can work if you want it to but it's not something I'd do unless I was just bored.

I can do these kinds of friendships as long as they are superficial. I have a lot of guy friends that are really fun but I'd never get vulnerable with them...I have no interest in getting so close where jealousy would creep in, or even sex I guess. It's very much at a friendly arms length. Most of us can only handle so many intimate relationships at the same time and I know for me getting really close with a man I have no interest in spending my life with (or has no interest in me that way) is a huge distraction from finding someone who will.
 
Of course not. Women have cooties and so a guy has to maintain a distance from them lest he be devoured by girly germs.
 
Yes, definitely

There are people who look into their friends as potential mates while others are eventually put into the friendzone.

I believe that nature or some supernatural force developed a screening process as our instinct to sort-out desirables from those who are not. Which is not a wonder why some people use manipulation and control over their friends that they deeply desire to win their heart, especially you INFJs (yes, you guys since I don't know whether I'm an INTJ or INFJ).

I have a best-friend which is a female, we had sex last year and we're still friends. Too bad she was looking for a meaningful relationship and I didn't give that to her, now I'm still bearing that guilt.
 
[MENTION=6816]Lunarinth[/MENTION]
You say "Yes, definitely" and then you say that you have a best friend which is a female and that you had sex with her last year. You wouldn't do that with a guy friend, would you (assuming that you are not bisexual and just like women)? :) Definitely more than "just friends".

It always seems that one person in the friendship secretly wants more...just a thought.
 
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