Being Explosive...

[Pristinegirl]

Child neglection

Exploding!
My tatic of anger usually deals with analysis of other people [ which are usually quite accurate, if not exagerrated a bit] where I tell them their flaws in a rather rude and blunt way, intended to hurt the other person and make them feel pain. Later, much, much later, I will feel remorse for my actions.

This happens to me too only when I fight with my mom, I EXPLODE in rage, and spit out hurtful words but this is only happens when she triggers me, by ignoring me and doesn't engage in relevant stimulating conversation with me as I have something significant to talk about, essential to my future. And believe me I know it's wrong of me to explode in bouts of anger, but when at the moment, I have nowhere else to adress my melodramatic feelings. I feel remorse for doing it because I love her but then sad also because she doesn't love me the way a nurturing mother should nor represent an ideal mother. I usually hold on to things like these for a longer time whereas she forgets them as soon as they are over. Therefore if she asks if I want to have a cup of tea the next day like NOTHING has happened - I will by reflex snap her off because I am still hurt as she is IGNORING the past event.
I simply can't stand being ignored.

On the other hand when it comes to friends, I am very specific when arguing with my friends, no mean words, no harm are mentioned. However I say them in my mind instead

 

[ZenCat]

I rarely explode outwards. I can snap, from time to time, but even then I don't usually raise my voice and I'm so super-aware of the power of words (and memory) that I continue to choose my words carefully when I do enter into a confrontation with someone. At worst, I slam a cupboard door.

In my late teens/early 20's I had a couple of explosions resulting in the destruction of rooms and my own personal property (I never destroyed other people's things, and by no means assaulted anyone physically) but it quickly became clear that I was only hurting myself with those kinds of outbursts (what a pain in the ass it was to clean up that broken mirror!).

Mostly I seethe inwardly.

 

[Pristinegirl]

But you see isnt a ' Grown up' a teenager who gave up fighting for their will! ? =)

Characteristics to get along with NF'S:

1. Tell me when you're proud of me and my accomplishments.
2. Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot.
3. Don't burden me with negative emotions.
4. Give me honest, but not critical or judgmental, feedback.
5. Appreciate my grand visions.
6. Engage in stimulating conversation with me.
7. Help me keep my environment harmonious and peaceful.
8. Speak in a straightforward, clear and brief manner.
9. Don't ignore me, work things through with me.
10. Don't try to change my style. Instead widen your world.

 

[ZenCat]

But you see isnt a ' Grown up' a teenager who gave up fighting for their will! ? =)

Possibly, but I think there are other possibilities too. Perhaps a "grown up" is one who has "tried on" many different ways of fighting for their will until they find the one they feel most comfortable with, or one that is less exhausting. Teenagers have the advantage/disadvantage of an incredibly volatile body chemistry and raging hormones to supply all that extra will to fight.

Or their will has changed, along with their priorities

 

[Pristinegirl]

Yes that is a possibility too, in fact the most likely one.
Wonder if the brain chemistry will ever balance out in me?
But assuming brain chemistry is the only factor controling feelings, as I always feel something, whether it is fear, sadness, joy, love etc. Doesn't that mean I will never grow up haha?

Although I still believe there are 'grown ups' who have given up and lost their inner child by doing so. Luckily for us NF's we are endearing in our nature.

 

[ZenCat]

We all go through it. The extreme emotional state we feel though our teenage years really does have it's roots in our physiology. In our childhood and teenage years, we're using an entirely different part of our brain to analyze things and make decisions than we do when we are adults. Certainly we don't lose our emotions as our bodies (including brains) mature, we just adjust the way we interpret and act on them

For the better part of the past two decades, studies have been ongoing at several institutions, among them the National Institute of Mental Health. A lead researcher at NIMH, Dr. Jay Giedd, has used MRI scans to demonstrate that, when compared to an adult brain, the teen brain uses radically different pathways to make decisions. The frontal lobe of the brain is often referred to as the C.E.O. because it is responsible for making executive decisions--for weighing the importance of different pieces of information and then choosing what to do. But for many, the frontal lobe does not fully mature until the early 20s. So teens typically make decisions using not the frontal lobe, but rather areas of the brain that rule arousal, fear, and general emotional state.

http://www.nowpublic.com/culture/mom-logic-good-morning-america

 

[moonbabyam]

I have explosions - or as I refer to them 'truth attacks'! Things slowly build up over a number of months or even years. I do my best to let people know what I'm wanting/meaning or thinking about something, but in such a roundabout nice way that they don't pick up on it. Eventually it all gets too much and somebody goes too far in their actions towards me and I loose it, one thing comes out followed by every little observation and annoyance. The truth as I see it.

I have these at least once a week. If I don't I'll start crying at very inopportune moments because my body has discovered crying is its best way of stress relief (which more often than not is more embarassing than anything, it is almost impossible to control).

I like the term "truth attacks". My boy friend just calls it me "bitchin'" Although that may be true, usually I am right about what ever we are fighting about and think that might be why he gave it that name.

I usually have to "explode" too because if I am nice/quite about it no one pays any attention. Once I start though...I am on a roll and it takes a while to finish because I have all these thought proceses I have to get through to make sure I have fully explained myself. Hahaha.
And the of course, as mentioned previously after my "explosion" if no one understands, or the issue isn't resolved what do I do? I cry.
Blah!
I love this freakin' forum. Seriously it really helps to read these posts.

 

[Pristinegirl]

We all go through it. The extreme emotional state we feel though our teenage years really does have it's roots in our physiology. In our childhood and teenage years, we're using an entirely different part of our brain to analyze things and make decisions than we do when we are adults. Certainly we don't lose our emotions as our bodies (including brains) mature, we just adjust the way we interpret and act on them

Strange how one being can be so many different persons during a lifetime.
And for it all to be physiology is horrible when you look for meaning!
Everyone has a multiple personality disorder don't you think?

 

[Bored Now]

This forum is creeping me out now. It's feels like each post and thread were pulled out of my head. The narcissist in me loves it, but the deeper me is a bit weirded out actually. *I'm* usually the ones reading people like a book and freaking them out.

Anyway, yeah me too. I explode when I see people being bullied. I can get scary and very cutting in what I say to you. Using my powers for evil instead of good I suppose. In 8th grade, I reduced one of the "cool" guys to a mess of blubbering tears in front of the whole school. He called my friend a "fat bitch" and an "ugly dyke" and I wasn't having it. I let most things slide when it comes to me, I'm very laid back and have been called "too nice" most of my life. But if I see you picking on a friend or even a defenseless and innocent stranger, I'm in your face in all my 115 pound glory and I won't stop until I smell blood in the water. He wasn't one of the cool kids after that. He was a bully so people were giving me "props" all night, but man I felt like an a-hole for a weeks afterward. I ruined his whole school existence as this was a small exclusive private school where we were all stuck together from 7- 12th grade. It was never the same for him...

Edited for Tequila Fingers ::giggle: ::hiccup: