Being direct vs. flirting?
- Thread starter Gaze
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I like a combination of both. Depends on the situation tbh. Like subtle flirting has its time and place when it comes to the initial contact & getting to know someone but once I get to know them, I like it direct.
Approach directly in order to know (in the biblical sense) a lady, while flirting with others to scare her into obedience. 
I can see flirting being very fun to do, but the....uncertainty and the "what the hell is he thinking and what does he want and am I being played or what" drives me nuts.
My own flaw, yes, but spare me the pain. Be direct. Please.
My own flaw, yes, but spare me the pain. Be direct. Please.
If someone is flirting with you, it is pretty clear to see what they want. They want you.
what else would they want? To me, your response tells me that when you flirt you are trying to get something else out of the person - some sort of ulterior motive.
Flirting is ace. I am a bit of a flirting whore but don't overstep boundaries as I have no need to. I don't think attractions should ever really stop.
I am only direct with a viable mate after I know what he truly wants and if he is able to give his heart - plus can indicate he knows what he is doing sexually. I view that side of myself as supremely private, sacred even. The rest is just play.
I am only direct with a viable mate after I know what he truly wants and if he is able to give his heart - plus can indicate he knows what he is doing sexually. I view that side of myself as supremely private, sacred even. The rest is just play.
Same here. When someone does too much flirting, it makes me question whether they are interested or just having fun for the sake of flirting. Flirting can be nice but when it goes on for a while and never goes anywhere, then personally, it's annoying and misleading. Too often people use it to lead someone on and then pretend it wasn't meant to go anywhere. After a while, it feels ridiculous. At that point, I hope the person stops or moves on to someone else.
But of course, if there's a mutual interest and both of us know there's something more, then flirting can be fun because then it's meaningful.
no, sometimes they want to see the target's reaction and/or they want to establish closeness to the target (but not necessarily wanting the target / reaching THAT POINT)
It's the same as people who acted / pretended like they are close with the target. Just with promises of sex / something more. (and this is not a horribleness limited to one gender)
I never flirted, personally. I'm sorry.
Yes, this.
Upon reflection, I don't think [MENTION=731]the[/MENTION] is wrong regarding his reading of me; I'm sure I have done the platonic version of 'flirting' for the fun of it, or 'flirting' to gain something.
After all, game recognizes game.
But that does not mean all flirting are intentionally lying or not; it's just my preference, and I apologize if what I said / hint might have painted a general damning picture.
I prefer a mix to be honest. If it's a relationship that's "getting real" / going somewhere / I want to be "getting real".
Playfulness is important interaction to me, and things can be communicated through it in indirect ways that aren't necessarily best communicated directly because they are kind of diffuse feelings that are most succinctly transmitted through being implied and shown rather than attempting to explicitly state them, both for believability in some cases, and for truly understanding the nature of it (pure verbal discrete description is limited).
From directness, there are moments of closeness achievable through directly talking about how one feels about and sees each other that cannot be garnered through flirtation, not because they can't be said in other ways, but because of the act of being open and vulnerable to each other in itself.
I find these are often complimentary and can contextually inform in regards to what expressions in the other form truly mean. Flirtation can be ambiguous or blurry when there is no accompanying directness, or feel like primarily light-hearted fun and mutual enticement with no real thought towards escalation, and directness by itself can feel... like just words or one does not know exactly what that person means by what it says.
Playfulness is important interaction to me, and things can be communicated through it in indirect ways that aren't necessarily best communicated directly because they are kind of diffuse feelings that are most succinctly transmitted through being implied and shown rather than attempting to explicitly state them, both for believability in some cases, and for truly understanding the nature of it (pure verbal discrete description is limited).
From directness, there are moments of closeness achievable through directly talking about how one feels about and sees each other that cannot be garnered through flirtation, not because they can't be said in other ways, but because of the act of being open and vulnerable to each other in itself.
I find these are often complimentary and can contextually inform in regards to what expressions in the other form truly mean. Flirtation can be ambiguous or blurry when there is no accompanying directness, or feel like primarily light-hearted fun and mutual enticement with no real thought towards escalation, and directness by itself can feel... like just words or one does not know exactly what that person means by what it says.
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Flirting can be a good thing in a marriage so I do it with my wife. Directness also has it's place so I utilize that as well.
I think unfortunately its hard to say because different people have different ideas as to what flirting is. Flirting is fine just so that at some point if you choose to take it further the other person gets the hint and steps up one way or the other. Im not really interested in flirting where theres no chance of anything other that. Example Ill never flirt with someone who is married.
