Sadness is cleansing, but so is laughter, anger, and sometimes even inertia. I think it's just about feeling whatever I'm feeling when I feel it. At least that's what I strive for. If it's happy, sad, or whatever, I try to just feel it and then let it go. When I hold on to any feeling for lengthy periods of time it stops being just a feeling and becomes something detrimental for me and the people in my life. I think we've all experienced times when we've held on to feelings that we needed to let go of. At that point it's about recognizing it, dealing with it, and working towards change. I can't say I'm attracted to sadness, but at times, it is part of my own and other peoples lives. It's just part of life.
Beauty in sadness
- Thread starter TinyBubbles
- Start date
Yes. I think people are attracted to sadness because it is a complex feeling. Often we do not have a complete understanding of the mysteriousness of sadness in the same way that we do of emotions like happiness or anger. And yet, sadness is something that we all come to feel. It is a feeling that connects us to everybody else and to the workings of the world, of heaven and Earth. It is an essential part of human life. There is beauty to be found in sadness, and, in my opinion, more often than not, a bit of sadness to be found whenever there is beauty.
When we feel pain and loss, it reminds us that comfort and joy existed. And vice versa.
When we feel pain and loss, it reminds us that comfort and joy existed. And vice versa.
Maybe I'm a bit jaded in this respect, but I don't think there's anything beautiful about sadness. I think some people romanticize it and seek it out because they've learned from a young age that sadness incites others to comfort and protect them and they've linked the two--'sadness' and 'connection'-- in their heads. Being vulnerable and hurt also excuses you from taking responsibilities and actions, whether because you're putting them off while meandering in your head or by preventing you from seeing opportunities while you're focusing on the 'beauty' of the flaws.
Or sometimes the reverse is true. When someone else is in a more vulnerable position, you're the one who is strong by default (though you have done nothing to display strength beyond just showing up). It puts your own shortcomings into perspective.
Don't get me wrong. I don't think there's anything wrong with being sad and expressing grief per say; it's an outlet and sometime seeing sad things helps us stir the complicated emotions we have sitting within ourselves. Like a catharsis. But while I see sadness as normal and one of the ways in which our emotions help keep us honest, I don't see it as being anything otherworldly or esoteric. I don't think we have much to gain from dressing it up that way other than enabling us to stay in that state longer than needed. Why don't we romanticize the emotions that make us feel alive in more positive and empowering ways? Why linger on something that has the dangerous potential to emotionally damage us? At least love has us taking risks and connecting with others. Sadness in itself is singular state and a slippery slope.
Or sometimes the reverse is true. When someone else is in a more vulnerable position, you're the one who is strong by default (though you have done nothing to display strength beyond just showing up). It puts your own shortcomings into perspective.
Don't get me wrong. I don't think there's anything wrong with being sad and expressing grief per say; it's an outlet and sometime seeing sad things helps us stir the complicated emotions we have sitting within ourselves. Like a catharsis. But while I see sadness as normal and one of the ways in which our emotions help keep us honest, I don't see it as being anything otherworldly or esoteric. I don't think we have much to gain from dressing it up that way other than enabling us to stay in that state longer than needed. Why don't we romanticize the emotions that make us feel alive in more positive and empowering ways? Why linger on something that has the dangerous potential to emotionally damage us? At least love has us taking risks and connecting with others. Sadness in itself is singular state and a slippery slope.
Last edited:
I arguably have a thing for sad women. I'm still working on reasons, but experience dictates I don't mix well with them. So I'm attracted but know enough not to get (too) involved.
Sad stories are good if they're told in an interesting way.
Sad stories are good if they're told in an interesting way.
Yeah, I did for a long time find myself attracted to sad things and attracting or attracted to people who were experiencing great pain or struggle in their lives. There was just something which linked me to them. I was myself quite melancholic so that's probably the reason for the attraction to sadness. I guess like attracts like. There is something possibly appealing about the vulnerability in someone who is sad.
I'm beginning to think that this is a rebound effect from an unnatural social focus on emphasizing happiness.
The natural self is struggling to see the world exactly as it is, but socially enforced pursuit of a rose colored glasses type happiness promotes ignorance and delusions, which leads to suffering, which prevents most people from attaining actual happiness.
Looking at the positives in life and associating yourself with good and happy things is great, but still only a temporary satisfaction. Taoism and Buddhism both kind of teach about seeing the world exactly as it is and not ignoring any aspects of it, and that happiness cannot really come from external circumstances, but must be cultivated from within, regardless of what is going on outside.
The natural self is struggling to see the world exactly as it is, but socially enforced pursuit of a rose colored glasses type happiness promotes ignorance and delusions, which leads to suffering, which prevents most people from attaining actual happiness.
Looking at the positives in life and associating yourself with good and happy things is great, but still only a temporary satisfaction. Taoism and Buddhism both kind of teach about seeing the world exactly as it is and not ignoring any aspects of it, and that happiness cannot really come from external circumstances, but must be cultivated from within, regardless of what is going on outside.
There was another thread just like this back in 2010. Same exact concept.
I see beauty in sadness because I'm a human and humans are compassionate. It's not a weird question at all. I also see beauty in happiness too.
Lately I've been getting frustrated with sad people though. I don't see beauty in sadness now as much as I did in the past. Sometimes I want to help people but I can't or they won't let me. That can be annoying. If a person is sad that is one thing. If a person is always negative and doesn't try to improve that's another.
I see beauty in sadness because I'm a human and humans are compassionate. It's not a weird question at all. I also see beauty in happiness too.
Lately I've been getting frustrated with sad people though. I don't see beauty in sadness now as much as I did in the past. Sometimes I want to help people but I can't or they won't let me. That can be annoying. If a person is sad that is one thing. If a person is always negative and doesn't try to improve that's another.
Much the same as others have said: I can appreciate the emotion of sadness, and its intensity can bring out a certain beauty that isn't always evident in everyday life, but I would not want to live in a constant state of sadness or identify with it. It's draining and robs you of your clarity and energy.
Sadness for me is palpable, it does have beauty attached and many people must agree...just look through this thread at peoples avatars, proof if ever you needed it! Chango has a valid point though, negativity is not sadness, nor is depression, depression is despair - true depression is anyway, I find a lot of 'depression' is just laziness and boredom in the extreme. Pure sadness when seen is felt at a deep level for me, funerals for obvious reasons relating to sadness are extremely difficult for me, I lost my cousin and my best friend last year 2 weeks apart, people assumed I was ignorant and unfeeling because I didn't go to the wake afterwards, they don't understand that I can feel their sadness and to have it amplified by many people causes me a physical pain, I see the beauty in sadness but i feel the pain and anguish that goes along with it and those are not so pretty.
I have always found solace in sorrow...as have many people throughout history...here is one of my favorite poets....
On Joy and Sorrow
Kahlil Gibran
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater thar sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
On Joy and Sorrow
Kahlil Gibran
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater thar sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.