Beating the Awkwardness
- Thread starter Trifoilum
- Start date
AWKWARD silence is both parties wanting to speak, but cannot.
It's different from actual, conscious, non confrontational silence. Which is golden, yes.
Actually one thing I realized is that awkward silence participants often wishes they, or the other party, could break the silence.
Another confessions;
having to be personally embarrassing and eyefu-- looking at someone beyond what's socially acceptable to get them to talk to me. GEEE, passive-aggressive much?
is a member of group A, and wandering over another group just to listen at people who are generally cool, bash that same group.
AWKWARD silence is both parties wanting to speak, but cannot.
It's different from actual, conscious, non confrontational silence. Which is golden, yes.
Actually one thing I realized is that awkward silence participants often wishes they, or the other party, could break the silence.
Another confessions;
having to be personally embarrassing and eyefu-- looking at someone beyond what's socially acceptable to get them to talk to me. GEEE, passive-aggressive much?
is a member of group A, and wandering over another group just to listen at people who are generally cool, bash that same group.
I think part of the problem is a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy in which we can be so focused on trying to say something that we cannot relax enough to let something in which to say come to us. I'd recommend practicing mindfulness meditation and practicing how to accept silence even under duress.
I don't think we'd want our words used to manipulate someone into a relationship anyhow, but sometimes we want to connect so badly with another person that we cloud our own judgment.
I also like some of the previous suggestions that when one is feeling awkward in a situation, to simply point it out and talk about it and laugh about it. It can be a really fantastic method because it's simultaneously humanizing, vulnerable, and self-deprecating, yet also confident, liberating, and socially savvy.
When you start feeling awkward during a social interaction just stop focusing on yourself and focus on the other person. When you become genuinely interested in someone and want to listen to them, know them, it just comes naturally. So many of my communication errors and akwardness happens when im focusing to much on myself and not listening to the other person properly. When I focus entirely on the other person, I am able to feel their wavelength and respond respectfully and appropriately to what they are saying. Theres no need to offend or defend, protect yourself, or lash out, hide or concern yourself with looking foolish. Just listen, be genuinely interested and engage. Everyone has an interesting story and most people enjoy sharing theirs. There are a lot of topics that I like to talk about but have found hard to approach with certain people- politics, philosophy etc. Now I simply ask them questions, give them some space and see how the discussion evolves. People are willing to discuss most things if they feel comfortable and listened to.
[MENTION=5119]Blackmountainside[/MENTION], I can blush a lot too, sometimes very inappropriately. I find it happens to me when I feel like the focus is on me too much and I am obligated to respond in some way that I dont feel comfortable with. I really dont like a lot of attention and I fear being the centre of attention. But when I tune back into the external environment and others, Im able to divert this sensation and awkwardness.
[MENTION=5119]Blackmountainside[/MENTION], I can blush a lot too, sometimes very inappropriately. I find it happens to me when I feel like the focus is on me too much and I am obligated to respond in some way that I dont feel comfortable with. I really dont like a lot of attention and I fear being the centre of attention. But when I tune back into the external environment and others, Im able to divert this sensation and awkwardness.