Beating the Awkwardness | INFJ Forum

Beating the Awkwardness

Trifoilum

Trifoilum

find wisdom, build hope.
Dec 27, 2009
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So, good fellows of INFJ Forum;

Have you ever been in a situation where you don't know what to do? Or a particular question regarding social life that you're afraid to ask?
Well, ask it here! It's for everyone! We'll share. Advice and suggestions and *looks at some people* hard truths, personally speaking, feel free to dish. But let's beat the awkwardness together. Or at least, that's what I'm intending to do. For everyone. Gotta make it less about me, you know?

Starting with mine; I've got two: First, as spoken in the First Crush topic:
And when I said talk, I meant it awkwardly, in a "OMG I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO TALK ABOUT BUT I WANT TO TALK NOD NOD NOD FURIOUSLY AND AGREE EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT OR WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TALK ABOUT."
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Of course; there's the usual "find something relatable and go from there!" Yes, but what to do from there? Just what sort of connection to build; what sort of similarities do you want to establish, and what sort of distinction you want to create to make you look interesting?
"Oh, I used to doodle in class." "OH MAI GAWD ME TOO." "LOL" ".......guys?"

Secondly; When / any signs to decide that someone isn't interested in you; whether platonic or romantic-wise? (Or, just what to do to break away from the 'OMG does s/he hate me but I didn't do anything wrong but what if I did omg maybe I should talk to them again but what if I MESSED THIS UP AND THEY HATE ME TRULY!?')

What about yours? Got any?
 
I generally beat awkwardness with a stick.... while it sleeps
 
The Doctor said:
I generally beat awkwardness with a stick.... while it sleeps
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The question then is which drug do you use to make awkwardness sleep, good Doctor?

Also; reposting @TheDaringHatTrick and @Billy 's responses on my original blog;

TheDaringHatTrick said:
As for the issue outlined in the bold area, I can definitely relate. lol. Sometimes it takes the load off when you're honest about it: "I'm sorry, I'm all flustered. I just think you're cool person and I just want to get to know you a bit better." Best compliment ever.

<3
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Billy said:
Agreed... Any time I have ever told someone who frazzled me that they have that affect on me they get very curious and want to know more which makes the conversation... oh gosh just so much more fun. If you're smart you will learn how to play that role very flirtatiously. Its all great fun :D

I have a thing that happens to me when I get extremely excited by a person, I begin to shiver uncontrollably and my teeth chatter like I am freezing and my skin goose bumps, try explaining that to someone haha ;) Its not enough reason to clam up for me personally so I explain my way through it, and boy did it have a good affect on her.
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I tend to make jokes of association. If someone says something and it reminds me of something funny I turn it into a joke, if it bombs though that sucks. haha.
 
I find that most people are keen to talk and if I am internally flustered, I will remain with a thoughtful look and encouraging body language to allow them to continue. I can be a terrible listener since my mind is usually aswirl with a ton of crap at any given time and sometimes I am not fully present anyway. I also think giving people my full attention can be a little nerve wracking for some people because I have a strong personality. Silence does a lot to bolster that stoic Native stereotype anyway. So it becomes win/win. After awhile I can intuit relevant topics/interests to discuss or the conversation has proceeded smoothly enough that my silence isn't awkwardly noticeable.

Typically my giveaway to liking someone when I meet them in person is a subdued nature.

Baring that, I will use the direct approach for an overly awkward silence. Something along the lines of "this isn't awkward at all, I hope to god we don't have to hug or something"--best part is that if they are interested....you get that hug!
 
I look, act, and feel "in like" whether it's romantic, friendship, male, female, animal, or whatever. It's just a really nice feeling of WOW I think you're pretty cool. It doesn't happen often for me, but when it does happen it's a really nice feeling. It's even nicer when they feel the same way about me. I've noticed that when people are "in like" awkwardness just kinda disappears cause we just click. No reason to push, force, or make things happen cause it just seems to naturally flow.
 
[MENTION=2172]Trifoilum[/MENTION]
yes, it can be. but it also signifies shyness - instant indicator to other person. which in turn makes me blush even more. it doesn't happen all the time, thank goodness.
 
Occasions where I tried to fit it by making jokes / self snark / outrageous but...missing the funny mark. Leaving the discomfort, AWKWARD unfunniness that's potentially offending and/or make fun of people.
Filler words.
Being unable to say anything BUT filler words.
OR having no filler words but bringing too many contents / machine gunning as a result (Yes, so IMO it's blablablablablabla, but on the other hand it's blablablablablablabla and it's gyagyagyagyagyagyagya)

/selftherapy
 
[MENTION=5375]chulo[/MENTION]

yes, i am female. but still, sometimes, you don't want people to know they have that affect on you.
 
I find that overcoming the idea that silence = awkward is a good first step, but of course the next step is to reassure others in their ability to share that idea.
 
[MENTION=4871]CindyLou[/MENTION]
i think some people are just naturally more prone to shyness than others. for me, it can be speaking in front of a class, meeting new people - some people have that affect on me, others do not, or something unexpected. and when i feel shy, i show it with blushing cheeks. i think the best thing is to try and own it. i feel shy, so what. more often than not people are kind, and just smile back.
 
Matt3737 said:
I find that overcoming the idea that silence = awkward is a good first step, but of course the next step is to reassure others in their ability to share that idea.
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Agreed.
Or we can dance the dance of awkward silence....not.
 
I blush when I want to hide the truth that I think is written all over my face.
 
There's nothing to be awkward about.
 
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