Attraction | INFJ Forum

Attraction

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by Persona, Mar 17, 2016.

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  1. Persona

    Persona Community Member

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    Do you think we're subconsciously attracted to people who look like us?
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mysteries-love/201505/are-we-attracted-people-who-look-us

    Is an attractive personality more important than an attractive body?
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sideways-view/201504/the-attractiveness-personality-traits

    Do you think we're attracted to people wrong for us, in efforts of bettering ourselves into knowing what's wrong for us?

    http://www.riseearth.com/2016/02/why-we-are-often-attracted-to-wrong.html
    http://www.davidwolfe.com/attracted-to-people-wrong-for-us/

    Do you think you're attracted to people with a closer height to you?
    http://www.spring.org.uk/2016/01/he...tracted-to-you-and-who-youre-attracted-to.php

    Are you attracted to deviant personalities?
    http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-we-are-attracted-to-deviant-personalities/

    7 Traits psychopaths are attracted to: Do you obtain these traits?
    5 Signs you're dealing with a psychopath. Agree?
    http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-se...its-that-make-you-susceptible-to-a-psychopath
    http://www.forbes.com/sites/amymori...youre-dealing-with-a-psychopath/#1b2ecb0855c4

    Just some other stuff to look at..
    "Apparent" ways to become more attractive.
    http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-become-more-attractive-2015-11

    What would you say are some characteristics you are attracted to/dislike in others?
    (Physically/mentally/socially).

    Are you really aware of the attraction you have in others? Or does your subconscious gets the best of you?

    All questions don't have to be answered, pick & choose of course.
     
  2. Gaze

    Donor

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    [MENTION=14357]Persona[/MENTION], how would you answer these questions?
     
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  3. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
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    Do you think we're subconsciously attracted to people who look like us?

    Yes, generally

    Is an attractive personality more important than an attractive body?

    Yes

    Do you think we're attracted to people wrong for us, in efforts of bettering ourselves into knowing what's wrong for us?


    Sometimes. Depends on where we are at in life. I would argue that "wrong" is sort of subjective here

    Do you think you're attracted to people with a closer height to you?

    Maybe. I find them more comfortable from the outset at least

    Are you attracted to deviant personalities?

    In a sense, yes

    7 Traits psychopaths are attracted to: Do you obtain these traits?

    I'm not sure what you're asking. I think some of them are obtained, some are innate. I will say, spotting these types of women is easy for me. Maybe I'm a slight psychopath hmmm

    5 Signs you're dealing with a psychopath. Agree?

    Oh shit. I am. Whoops.

    Just some other stuff to look at..
    "Apparent" ways to become more attractive.

    I'm a charming psychopath, I got this shit down. Easy peasy.

    What would you say are some characteristics you are attracted to/dislike in others?
    (Physically/mentally/socially).

    Being hot af, rich af, not giving af.

    Are you really aware of the attraction you have in others? Or does your subconscious gets the best of you?

    In others? Others are attracted to me? Nah fam. I don't give it much thought tbh. It's usually obvious when genuine attraction is taking place. It's an emotional dance. You know... it takes two to tango.
     
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  4. OP
    Persona

    Persona Community Member

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    [MENTION=1669]Gist[/MENTION]
    Do you think we're subconsciously attracted to people who look like us?
    In a sense, yes. Physical attributes we possess can be seen in others subconsciously. And not to say that we are narcissistic, but
    humans have an innate sense of wanting to reproduce their own families/generations, which leads to the whole idea of attraction tied with mating.

    Is an attractive personality more important than an attractive body?
    I'd prefer the personality, although when it comes to the attractive body, the concept "dealing with the flaws" comes in more often,
    which reflects off the next question.


    Do you think we're attracted to people wrong for us, in efforts of bettering ourselves into knowing what's wrong for us?
    Yes, but unfortunately, some people don't learn, or act as if they didn't, at least.


    Do you think you're attracted to people with a closer height to you?
    Noooooooooooooooooooooo. Honestly, I prefer women shorter than me. Taller women give me a type of intimidating feeling.


    Are you attracted to deviant personalities?
    Yes, but I like mostly all personalities and think they should all be embraced, after all, it's who you are.


    7 Traits psychopaths are attracted to: Do you obtain these traits?
    5 Signs you're dealing with a psychopath. Agree?
    Besides from being charming, probably not, but it's possible.

    What would you say are some characteristics you are attracted to/dislike in others? (Physically/mentally/socially).
    Physically -
    Mentally - Witty, intellectual, passionate, romantic, willpower. Dislikes - Boring.
    Socially - Outgoing, peaceful, fun, wanderlust. Dislikes, anything that disturbs the peace of everyone, overly aggressive, annoyance, etc.


    Are you really aware of the attraction you have in others? Or does your subconscious gets the best of you?
    I'm aware of my attraction in others, but not their attraction in me, no matter how OBVIOUS. It's not that I don't detect it, but I often second-guess
    myself. "Oh she's just being nice", or some statement to disregard it. But later to only know that I was right, being told by that person directly, or a close
    acquaintance of theirs, then having that "DAMNIT" moment.
     
  5. invisible

    On Holiday

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    I haven't felt attraction in at least a year and don't see any special reason why I would feel it ever again. I do enjoy gazing on cute men though.
     
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  6. Tin Man

    Tin Man "a respectable amount of screaming"

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    Do you think we're subconsciously attracted to people who look like us?
    Never really thought about it. I think we're attracted to people who are similar to us in personality, not sure about physical characteristics.

    Is an attractive personality more important than an attractive body?
    Yes.

    Do you think we're attracted to people wrong for us, in efforts of bettering ourselves into knowing what's wrong for us?
    Perhaps, but I don't think it's about bettering ourselves. It's more likely to do with problems of self-image.

    Do you think you're attracted to people with a closer height to you?
    It's never occurred to me, but I don't think it matters.

    Are you attracted to deviant personalities?
    A bit. I'd prefer a potential partner to have some weird kinks and thoughts on sexuality. But not so far they want to act out potentially life threatening or illegal acts.

    7 Traits psychopaths are attracted to: Do you obtain these traits?
    5 Signs you're dealing with a psychopath. Agree?

    No. I've met quite a few psychopaths in life and I notice if you're confident without being cocky, then they generally find you uninteresting.
    Of course it would be pure folly to think I'm immune to their tactics or wouldn't draw their attention for some reason.


    What would you say are some characteristics you are attracted to/dislike in others? (Physically/mentally/socially).
    Attracted to: Intelligence, open-minded, good self-esteem, independent, compassionate. And of course the most important, a nice ass.
    Dislike: Vapid, codependent, boring, judgemental, traditional, domineering.

    Are you really aware of the attraction you have in others? Or does your subconscious gets the best of you?
    I've gotten better over the years, but I'm still fairly oblivious when it comes to the attention of potential mates. Unless I've gotten to know them quite well or they're to the point about their feelings I will have no idea.
     
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  7. Scientia

    Scientia A true lady

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    Do you think we're subconsciously attracted to people who look like us?
    No, I think we are subconsciously attracted to people who remind us of something or someone.

    Is an attractive personality more important than an attractive body?
    Yes, very much, but a completely unattractive body is difficult to overlook.

    Do you think we're attracted to people wrong for us, in efforts of bettering ourselves into knowing what's wrong for us?
    Sometimes. In my case, I figure out what caused the attraction before I get too attached.

    Do you think you're attracted to people with a closer height to you?
    No. I am wildly attracted to tall dudes.

    Are you attracted to deviant personalities?
    I think I am the deviant! Seriously, no. I am attracted to guys who show they want to take care of me and who can teach me something.

    7 Traits psychopaths are attracted to: Do you obtain these traits?
    5 Signs you're dealing with a psychopath. Agree?

    I agree somewhat. They do look for people too weak to resist them.

    What would you say are some characteristics you are attracted to/dislike in others?
    Attractive: openminded, experienced in at least one other culture, smart, funny without targeting, caring, honest, brave, healthy, has goals, wants an interesting life and focuses on me more than anyone else ;)
    Unattractive: the opposite of all the above plus racist, fearful, controlling, addicted to anything including his phone

    Are you really aware of the attraction you have in others? Or does your subconscious gets the best of you?
    Almost never. The person has to be really obvious or I always assume he or she is just being friendly.
     
  8. Misadventure

    Misadventure butt fros and asian purrs

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    Do you think we're subconsciously attracted to people who look like us?
    I think attraction varies and is particular to the person, not of the whole, but I would have to say that no, and I'm living proof. I find I'm more attracted to people who look opposite of me in many ways. My husband is tall and black, the women I'm attracted to are tall and curvy. I'm very short and petite. But I could just be the anomaly.

    Is an attractive personality more important than an attractive body?
    Oh heck yes! Personality is like 90% of it. But that left over 10%, I mean there has to be some sort of physical attraction somewhere in romantic relationships. But, again, I think it's subjective. What may be an 'attractive body' for one may not be for another.

    Do you think we're attracted to people wrong for us, in efforts of bettering ourselves into knowing what's wrong for us?
    Depends on where we are in life. "Wrong" is also subjective. I don't think there ever is a 'wrong' person, just a wrong time and place in life.

    Do you think you're attracted to people with a closer height to you?
    Nope Not at all, as stated above. I'm short and I'm attracted to tall, in both men and women. Though being as short as I am, most are taller than me. haha!

    Are you attracted to deviant personalities?
    In my younger years I was more attracted to the rebel, the one who goes against the grain. Now I'm attracted to no bullshit and stability. Must be the mom in me.

    What would you say are some characteristics you are attracted to/dislike in others? (Physically/mentally/socially).
    physical: I like tall women with curves. I like tall men with a little substance to them. I guess just not super skinny, maybe because I am, lol
    mentally: I'm attracted to intelligence, intensity, and empathy. I'm attracted to patience, softness, and kindness. I hate explosiveness and meanness.
    socially: Though I always say I love some good gossip, and I do, there is a difference between gossip and talking shit. I HATE people who talk shit behind other's backs, etc. I don't give a crap about social status and all that so it bears no weight on my attraction to people.

    Are you really aware of the attraction you have in others? Or does your subconscious gets the best of you?
    Most of the time I'm aware of it right off the bat. Sometimes I'm blindsided by it, and this is rare, but it does happen and I'm blown away by it. When it sneaks up on me like that, I find the feelings are more intense.
     
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  9. flower

    flower

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    Do you think we're subconsciously attracted to people who look like us?
    I think it makes some sense, so yeah maybe. :p But like always... People are different.

    Is an attractive personality more important than an attractive body?
    Definitely. Because body can change if getting ill or various of other reasons, whereas mind is something much more ''permanent''.
    You interact with the personality.

    Do you think we're attracted to people wrong for us, in efforts of bettering ourselves into knowing what's wrong for us?
    It's subjective. Past can have some affect to it too, like how someone was treated in the past etc.

    Do you think you're attracted to people with a closer height to you?
    Nope... I am already kinda short so the men I would be interested in would be taller than me anyway, but I do admit that I like tall men. :redface:
    It makes me feel safe?

    Are you attracted to deviant personalities?
    I don't know, people are ''whole'' with different sides in them, hard to say because we all are unique and complex beings.

    What would you say are some characteristics you are attracted to/dislike in others?
    Physically: Eyes (those kind of eyes which just draw you in, lol), nice laugh, tall and strong looking.
    Mentally: Kindness, independence, has goals & dreams in life, sensitivity, emotionally intelligent (empathy?), positive outlook despite the hardships.
    Socially: Introvert like me, though I wouldn't completely cut out the extroversion either. Values people's personal secrets and space.

    Hard to say what I dislike... Maybe general rudeness, being inconsiderate and ''noisy'' lol.

    Are you really aware of the attraction you have in others? Or does your subconscious gets the best of you?
    I am very aware of my own inner feelings, so I do know if I am attracted to someone but as the whole opposite I've no idea if someone likes me or not...
     
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  10. Sinny

    Sinny Community Member

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    I doubt it, - consciously xD.

    More so than not I presume, but both are required for me.

    Maybe. I have dodgy taste and often wonder why.

    I have never fancied anyone shorter than me, but I don't like them 'lanky' either.



    Yea, kinda am... Not many people interest me, so guys tend get more points than they should when they do actually interest me, whether that interest be for the positive or negative.

    I have none of those traits! Although I did date an utter cunt the once, either way.

    Or just a cunt as like to put it.

    Physically - Good hygiene, calloused hands, a firm handshake, steadfast eye's, and a bit of meat & muscle.
    Mentally - Intuitive, sharp, instinctual, open minded.
    Socially - A leader, not a follower. An individualist, but not for the appreciation of others... loyal & considerate I guess.



    I'm usually always aware if I'm attracted to somebody, I revel in it - unless I discover that they aren't on the market, at which point I try to banish them from my thoughts, or focus on not being attracted to them haha.
     
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    Last edited: Mar 24, 2016
  11. dang

    dang LONE WOLF BAD ASS
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    My personal theory of attraction is based on projection in the psychodynamic sense. We are attracted to people who most resemble and remind us of (especially the feeling) people we became attached to. I have explored why I have been attracted to the females I have been attracted to and have discovered they all remind me of different aunts I grew up with. After getting divorced I realized my ex was extremely similar to one of my aunts who I probably had a crush on when I was very little. Very similar. Eyes, hair, skin, body type, boobs, butt, mannerisms, style, personality, temper and more. It was eerie. Plus I love bubble butts (like J Lo). Check out my eye candy pics. Every girl I have ever gone out with has had one. Including my ex. And guess who also had one? My aunt who resembles my ex. My aunt is German. My ex is Norwegian. Both very Arian looking. This was all unconscious to me at the time. This is why I was attracted to someone who wasn't right for me. Now I don't miss her. Dat ass doe. Wow.
     
  12. dang

    dang LONE WOLF BAD ASS
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    See:
     
  13. OP
    Persona

    Persona Community Member

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    Yes I see my friend, but I mean come on, who doesn't love a bubble butt ! I know I do haha.
    But I am aware of the theory you speak of and believe in it as well, to some extent. Some people try to find the hole that accompanied them, while others try to patch it.
     
  14. Pyrrhula

    Pyrrhula Community Member

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    Do you think we're subconsciously attracted to people who look like us?

    Yes. Weirdly, I found my dad to be attractive when I was younger (obviously, this changed as he aged). I look more like him than my mam.

    Is an attractive personality more important than an attractive body?
    Yes, but I agree with Persona, that "dealing with the flaws" is often an issue for me. Sometimes I can't get over one physical aspect that doesn't agree with me.

    Do you think we're attracted to people wrong for us, in efforts of bettering ourselves into knowing what's wrong for us?

    I don't think it's an effort to better ourselves. I have been attracted to the wrong people and have learnt, to some degree, from the experience. I now feel like I know what MBTI types I'm attracted to and those I would never seek out, and be more wary of.


    Do you think you're attracted to people with a closer height to you?

    Yes, sort of. However, as a relatively short woman (5ft 3"), I like men to be slightly taller. If they're too tall I get a sore neck!


    Are you attracted to deviant personalities?

    Yes, and I believe I have one. I seem to find INFPs quite boring, as they are too "nice"!


    7 Traits psychopaths are attracted to: Do you obtain these traits?

    Some of them. Except - I'm not an extrovert. I don't trust easily (Enneagram 6), however, when I'm infatuated/in love my lack of trust goes out of the window. I am older (nearing mid-thirties) but, don't really have my shit together.

    5 Signs you're dealing with a psychopath. Agree?

    Yes.

    What would you say are some characteristics you are attracted to/dislike in others? (Physically/mentally/socially).
    Physically - Eyes, smile, fit body.
    Mentally - Funny, intellectual, passionate, romantic, spiritual, deep/introspective.
    Socially - Friendly, fun, mysterious and sometimes, unfortunately, arrogant :(


    Are you really aware of the attraction you have in others? Or does your subconscious gets the best of you?

    I know when someone is attracted to me. I can sense it.
     
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  15. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

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    Persona, thank you for posting this and especially all the links as back-up for your questions. It very cool you included those!
    I answered honestly, then went back and read the articles.


    Do you think we're subconsciously attracted to people who look like us?
    - I’ve read research (like the article you posted), but for me, no. I am definitely attracted to opposites.

    Is an attractive personality more important than an attractive body?
    - Absolutely!

    Do you think we're attracted to people wrong for us, in efforts of bettering ourselves into knowing what's wrong for us?
    Maybe when younger, but it should be something one grows out of.

    Do you think you're attracted to people with a closer height to you?
    No. I am short and attracted to tall men who are bigger than I am. I dated one short man, but he was one of the toughest people I’ve ever met.

    Are you attracted to deviant personalities?
    I am attracted to “rebels with a cause”, but repulsed by unethical and hurtful people, and people who seem to lack a conscience. I have no interest in fitting into the status quo.

    7 Traits psychopaths are attracted to: Do you obtain these traits?
    I have some of the traits psychopaths are attracted to, but not all. I am not attracted to a lot of the traits psychopaths have. — As listed in the articles.

    What would you say are some characteristics you are attracted to? (Physically/mentally/socially).
    - Physically: Strong in body, mind and spirit. Tall, with an interesting face that I won’t get bored staring at.
    May be of interest: I noticed as years passed I became more attracted to people and things that resemble my SO, his cultural background and interests.

    - Mentally: Deep thinkers, introverts, creative people, intelligent people, but people who also have pragmatic skills and common sense. People with goals, people who want to keep learning and better themselves and the world. People who are loyal, compassionate, and ethical, but also tough and street wise. Brave people who are (harmless - not criminal) rule benders and open-minded. People who want to share what they know - so we can share skills and ideas.

    - Socially: Confident introverts, quiet people who have a ‘hard’ shell, but are kind beneath the surface. Genuine people.

    What would you say are some characteristics you dislike in others?
    I am deeply un-attracted to big egos, snobs, cliques, bullies, and people who try to trick others into looking stupid. I’m not attracted to super energetic, extroverts who need to be in the spotlight. I am not attracted to clingy, possessive, and jealous people.

    Are you really aware of the attraction you have in others? Or does your subconscious get the best of you?
    - I am aware. It is extremely rare for me to feel attracted to anyone.
     
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  16. dang

    dang LONE WOLF BAD ASS
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    I see a ton of dudes walking around with thin girls without booty. That is a very superficial deal breaker for me.
     
  17. OP
    Persona

    Persona Community Member

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    The girls I've had have had booties, but I wouldn't mind a girl without one either. If she's got a good head on her shoulders, I'm probably down for whatever haha.
     
  18. dang

    dang LONE WOLF BAD ASS
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    36-24-36? Only if she's 5'3"!!!!!!!! The persona does count.
     
  19. OP
    Persona

    Persona Community Member

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    Hahahahahaha. You're a comedian!!! 36-24-36 what a good laugh. And it's funny you say 5"3,
    most the women with the perfect body sizes I've had were all 5"3! Hahaha!
     
  20. dang

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    MBTI:
    INFP-A
    That's from Sir Mix A Lot, fool.
     
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