Attracted to INTJ (I think) | INFJ Forum

Attracted to INTJ (I think)

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by HenRick, Aug 30, 2008.

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  1. HenRick

    HenRick Community Member

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    There's this one INTJ I've always been attracted to. I wanted to ask here
    out and tried it but she just ignored it. Maybe I didn't make it clear since
    my heart was pounding hard and along with adrenaline.

    I was alway afraid of what people would think if I went out with her. Like
    most guy's find her ugly I don't. She is Buff for a girl since she is in a swim team
    and does ballerina dances in the tuttu (I haven't seen the ballerina part my sister told
    me she did).

    I try to talk with her but my mind goes blank since I get nervous and she doen't respond
    back well. She's in my latin class.

    What I really want to do is to become her friend first. She has this really annoying impulsive
    talkative mean bully like friend. I think she's an ESTJ. I can't really conversate with her in the way during swim practice. At least she isn't in my latin class.

    I need help. Please give me tips.
     
  2. Kwistalline

    Kwistalline Permanent Fixture

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    This one's for Lurker.

    Hey Lurker, long time no read! How ya been? Any tips for our languishing latin lover? what thrills your heart and mind like nothing else?

    (henry, pay attention)
     
  3. Lurker

    Lurker Has nothing to destroy
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    INTJ eh? I suggest being a little forceful, not aggressive or rude but direct and able show her that you know what you want. INTJs respect confidence and up-front honesty. Don’t be too emotional.

    Intelligent conversation is a good place to start, talk to her about whatever her passions are and she may let her guards down and become chatty.

    Whatever you do, don't give the indication that you do not like her friend, INTJs usually only have a few friends that they value and those people have their loyalty.
     
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  4. Lurker

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    Hey you, been having a battle with my puter lately XD

    What trills my heart and mind? hmmm most the stuff above would make me curious. Confidence and forthrightness are beautiful things, I certainly appreciate the gentler side of NFs too but when I was a spring chicken the emotional need the guys I got involved with was too much, I don’t take to well to smothering, in fact that’s the quickest way to scare me off.

    What I wanted as a youngen and what I want now are pretty different but I've always been interested in the 'nice guys'. G'luck Henry ;)
     
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    #4 Lurker, Aug 30, 2008
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2008
  5. entjForever

    entjForever Regular Poster

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    Lets us know how it goes after following their advice
     
  6. OP
    HenRick

    HenRick Community Member

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    I did find out that she is a ballerina I could talk about that.
    I just get so nervous everytime she smiles when I talk to her.
    My communication skills sort of suck.

    Thanks for responding.

    Edit..

    There's also this guy I think she likes but he's older than her.
    Any advice? I can tell he is Introverted and Judgmental (IXXJ).
    I think he might also be a INTJ but I might be mistakened.
    Any more tips?
     
    #6 HenRick, Sep 2, 2008
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2008
  7. Lurker

    Lurker Has nothing to destroy
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    Do you know anything about dancing? If so that would be great but be a little careful about getting into a conversation with her on a topic that she is passionate about if you don’t care about it at all as if she thinks you're just humouring her she may clam up. Be chilled in your approach, make it a two way conversation and not all about her, we don't enjoy those types of conversations, challenging topics that you're both included and interested in are best.

    If you get nervous when you chat to her then you need to be able to either find a topic that puts you at ease or an activity that you can do with her that requires minimal conversation. Otherwise work through the nerves but try not to project them outwardly.

    There's nothing you can do if she's interested in another guy, just act like you don't care about that, don't put him down or anything.

    Basically, if an INTJ is interested, than you're in, if they're not, you're facing an uphill battle. We generally know what we do and don't want even if we don't clearly understand the reasons. I don't say this to scare you, I just mean if you're into her that much than you should be as direct as you can be as she will make up her mind pretty quickly.
     
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