Any advice or recommendations for going out and doing activities alone?

[La Sagna]

I feel a little weird asking this. As an introvert you would think I would be comfortable doing things alone, and I am, but I have so little experience going out and doing things alone just for fun that I am at a loss as to what I want to do and how to go about it.

I'm in an awkward situation since my husband and I are separated but still live under the same roof most of the time (sometimes he stays at a friend's house) until we can get the house sold and then I have to find a place to live. We're mostly friendly so we do sometimes have dinner together but for the most part we are living separate lives. I've been working really hard to try to get the house renovations completed (mostly by myself with little help) so it can go up for sale before September. I also work from home so I am at home way too much and working way too much. I really need to get out and have a bit of fun. Usually in the summer I would be camping and kayaking but I'm not comfortable doing either of those by myself because of safety issues.

There's a long-weekend coming up and my husband is going camping with some friends so this is making me feel a little sad and I think I need to get out on the long-weekend instead of staying home and working all weekend. Almost all of my friends are married and have families so I know they have their stuff going on and I don't want to tag along and the one single friend I have is a real downer (she would likely spend a big chunk of the time complaining about her life or about other people) so I don't really want to do things with her that weekend. My kids are out of the question, who wants to hang out with their mom when they are in their 20s? My dad is always too busy for me and my brothers have busy family lives. I really need to get out and make new friends but I don't have a lot of time right now so it's going to have to wait. I have lots of plans for when I am out on my own. I intend to go out and meet lots of people then as I should have more time and the need to build a new life. Meanwhile though I'm trying to retain my sanity until then.

So this leaves me with the idea of doing something fun alone. I have no problem going out and doing stuff alone but I've always done fun outings and activities with other people so this feels a little alien to me. I think I need to do this though. I need to learn to detach from needing to have somebody with me to go out and have fun.

I am not far from Toronto so there's lots of stuff to do, or I could go out of town for a few days. I'm just exploring my options right now. If anybody has any advice or suggestions I would appreciate it.

 

[Gaze]

You can try www.meetup.com and see if people are doing anything in your area. If you want to do something alone, try going to a nice casual but nice restaurant where they play music so that you can sit and enjoy getting lost in the mood of the music and relaxed atmosphere. Go to your local library and join a book club group. You can visit your local coffee shop and try a new flavor coffee. You can also go see a movie, visit the park, go to a local museum, or take a walk in your neighborhood. Or you can audit a class at a local college, and simply visit different classes, just to see what's going on. Also ask your friends for ideas.

 

[flower]

Photographing!

 

[say what]

Meetup.com is great!! You just need to jump right in and do it!

Also, you may want to think about doing a weekend retreat, or joining a class! Look up some of your hobbies and see what your area has to offer! I know there are camping groups, or even opportunities to go on a guided kayak/canoe tour with a group!

 

[sassafras]

There's a whole bunch of volunteering opportunities that usually open up on long-weekends, so you can get involved there, do some community service and meet some great, like-minded people. I also third the meetup.com option.

As for fun stuff you can do alone, I recommend a bike trip. Caledon has some great biketrails. Very scenic, very beautiful. Great for photography. They also have some equestrian activities, so you can head out and do some horseback riding and enjoy nature (just book ahead of time).

I also recommend you give Yoga a try. Adventure Bootcamp in Mississauga does a drop-in yoga class on Mondays that's donation-based.

Yonge-Dundas square always has something going on every weekend too. Attend a free concert and then take yourself out to dinner.

 

[La Sagna]

You can try www.meetup.com and see if people are doing anything in your area. If you want to do something alone, try going to a nice casual but nice restaurant where they play music so that you can sit and enjoy getting lost in the mood of the music and relaxed atmosphere. Go to your local library and join a book club group. You can visit your local coffee shop and try a new flavor coffee. You can also go see a movie, visit the park, go to a local museum, or take a walk in your neighborhood. Or you can audit a class at a local college, and simply visit different classes, just to see what's going on. Also ask your friends for ideas.

Thanks for the suggestions. I have participated in meetup groups before. I am planning on finding some interesting ones in the future but I don't feel up to meeting up with a bunch of strangers right now. I'm definitely going to get out of my comfort zone to try new things when I'm more settled.

Your suggestions all sound good. I particularly like the idea of a restaurant that has musical entertainment. It would make dining out alone less uncomfortable.

 

[La Sagna]

Photographing!

That's a very good idea. I have a really good camera that I haven't had much chance to really play with and be creative. I was thinking of finding a good spot to spend time being creative with my camera. I'm also thinking of looking into photography groups.

 

[La Sagna]

Photographing!

That's a very good idea. I have a really good camera that I haven't had much chance to really play with and be creative. I was thinking of finding a good spot to spend time being creative with my camera. I'm also thinking of looking into photography groups.

 

[La Sagna]

Meetup.com is great!! You just need to jump right in and do it!

Also, you may want to think about doing a weekend retreat, or joining a class! Look up some of your hobbies and see what your area has to offer! I know there are camping groups, or even opportunities to go on a guided kayak/canoe tour with a group!

Yes, there are some outdoor adventure groups that I might check out in the future. I did think about a weekend retreat but I haven't found anything yet.

 

[La Sagna]

There's a whole bunch of volunteering opportunities that usually open up on long-weekends, so you can get involved there, do some community service and meet some great, like-minded people. I also third the meetup.com option.

As for fun stuff you can do alone, I recommend a bike trip. Caledon has some great biketrails. Very scenic, very beautiful. Great for photography. They also have some equestrian activities, so you can head out and do some horseback riding and enjoy nature (just book ahead of time).

I also recommend you give Yoga a try. Adventure Bootcamp in Mississauga does a drop-in yoga class on Mondays that's donation-based.

Yonge-Dundas square always has something going on every weekend too. Attend a free concert and then take yourself out to dinner.

Thanks for the suggestions. Volunteering is very high up in my plan to meet new people in the future but I can't commit to anything yet because I have too much going on. I just want one or two days of distraction before I get back to all the work I still have to do. Calendon is beautiful. I don't have a bicycle though. I've been thinking that I should go for a hike though so Calendon would probably be a good place for that. I'm also looking up any events going on in and around town and I'll see if I feel up to it. I was thinking of making it an adventure and spending the day in Toronto just exploring, although I think I need a bit of a plan or I can end up feeling lost and directionless. I was also think that the AGO or the ROM would be nice to check out but maybe a little too crowded on a long weekend.

 

[NK278]

I do stuff alone all the time like shopping or browsing, and I do hobbies like gardening and baking. I've gone to movies alone a million times on Easter. Of course you can't do everything solo so I would suggest meet ups. Every few years I go and it's good (I might keep up with a few groups this time). Sometimes you kinda have to hype yourself up in your head. It's like a balancing of your inner selves (the inner critic that keeps you on the ball and your inner nurturer that loves and cares for you). Get in touch with those voices .. Ironically i recently joined a meditation group so yeah ...

It is okay to meet new people and make new friends. It is okay to make the effort to maintain the ones you want to keep. It is okay to find those hobbies and things you enjoy and are comfortable doing solo.

 

[Molvas]

I always have to do stuff alone and I usually go hiking do volunteer work read on my kindle go to the movies play the piano paint learn to cook something new listen to music ,and now im going to join an improve group to start acting.

 

[Lark]

I love these sorts of threads.

You'd be surprised how many things are actually properly understood individual activities, even when you go in a group its still ultimately an individual activity, watching a movie for instance, you dont talk or do much other than watch beside one another when you're with someone at the cinema so why go with someone? Same at concerts, you can chat and all but mainly the focus is the stage and act you're there to see perform.

The gym, essentially a time consuming and individual activity, it really does benefit you and you'll feel great afterwards, going with someone is a bad idea, distracting and you never do a proper workout if you have to set the pace so low that you dont get totally out of breath and can carry on a conversation.

Museams and galleries and even zoos, really, when you think about it, individual activities, sometimes I get pissed off when there's other people with me and they have different levels of interest or views about exhibits etc. I can understand how uber richies like Michael Jackson used to reserve entire shopping districts or golf courses for themselves. Sometimes people are very, very sucky when it comes to things like that and I speak as an extrovert.

 

[jupiterswoon]

Thanks for the suggestions. I have participated in meetup groups before. I am planning on finding some interesting ones in the future but I don't feel up to meeting up with a bunch of strangers right now. I'm definitely going to get out of my comfort zone to try new things when I'm more settled.

Your suggestions all sound good. I particularly like the idea of a restaurant that has musical entertainment. It would make dining out alone less uncomfortable.

This is weird but one of my favorite things to do is take myself on a date and bring a book. I love it.

 

[Eventhorizon]

The past few years I have been doing this. There are reasons for it of course but they are long, boring and numerous. When you do things alone long enough you get used to doing them alone. I remember the first time I went to an actual movie theater alone. I felt awkward of all things. But now I do it without a second thought when I have time.

You only have to enjoy your own company.

 

[Eventhorizon]

Oh I want to take this time to make a negative general comment. I do seriously dislike being at a party and the attached women there having a field day discussing my aloneness like its some sickness. I am alone for a reason. Im not even part of the conversation. Why dont you just ask rather then get in your little groups and speculate? Your next question as to why I am drinking so much can easily be answered were you to ask. It is because I enjoy it more then commenting on the easily experienced weather. It also helps me be relaxed when I am asked ignorant questions.

 

[La Sagna]

Oh I want to take this time to make a negative general comment. I do seriously dislike being at a party and the attached women there having a field day discussing my aloneness like its some sickness. I am alone for a reason. Im not even part of the conversation. Why dont you just ask rather then get in your little groups and speculate? Your next question as to why I am drinking so much can easily be answered were you to ask. It is because I enjoy it more then commenting on the easily experienced weather. It also helps me be relaxed when I am asked ignorant questions.

I find that groups of women too often like to discuss other people that don't match up to their standards of 'normal'. That's why I usually steer clear of groups of women myself as I either have to keep quiet and be tortured on the inside or say something about how they shouldn't judge others and end up insulting somebody. You just have to ignore those types of groups. They will do to anybody, including each other when one is not there.

 

[Lark]

Reading is a solo activity but you wouldnt necessarily be going out to do it, training also, I've heard people say its good to have gym buddies to assist with weight training or to challenge for cardio contests or whatever but I dont believe any of that at all.