An inner prison? | INFJ Forum

An inner prison?

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by Ophelia, May 26, 2009.

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  1. Ophelia

    Ophelia Community Member

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    Alright, I think some introverts at least in some point in their lives build like these walls around them because they have gotten hurt emotionally or because people don't understand them. I am not saying that all introverts build these types of walls around them, however I am very curious about peoples opinions on this matter? Like when the inner world becomes an inner prison sorta...*doesn't know if this is worded right*
     
    #1 Ophelia, May 26, 2009
    Last edited: May 26, 2009
  2. bamf

    bamf Is Watching You
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    I've built walls around myself. They don't keep others out, they only keep me in. Pretty much an inner prison.
     
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  3. OP
    Ophelia

    Ophelia Community Member

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    Ah, so I guess it can functions both as a prison and something to keep others out or either or interesting. When I was younger I built walls around myself. I had written a peom too ^_^ "a prison of my own construction, key to my sanity or my destruction, I know things shall be alright one day, but not today so within these walls I shall stay" I got tired of the cycling between oh there is people...YAY!!!...well not anymore...I am upset...I feel sick *vomit*...hey I am alright with this...darn, people...oh there is people. I mean even when there is a lot of people I would only care about a few 3 tops and I only get emotionaly attached to one person. So now I am clingy.
     
  4. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    People have commented that I have these walls of which you speak of.. I'm not really conscious of it. I don't build them intentionally. I think mostly it is the result of seeing the futility in making myself understood to others, so I focus on understanding myself.
    I consider them inner refuge.
     
  5. OP
    Ophelia

    Ophelia Community Member

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    That's kinda sad that you have to do that...I mean it would be nicer if people would take the time to be more understanding I think...
     
  6. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    It doesn't bother me for the most part. As long as the basic important people get me: Mom, brother, boyfriend-- I'm good. In cases such as those, I make it a point to make sure I'm understood.

    I just don't have the energy for many people, and I don't feel the need to be accepted by the masses.
     
  7. OP
    Ophelia

    Ophelia Community Member

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    What do you think you would do if someone else wanted inside? of like the inner circle?
     
    #7 Ophelia, May 26, 2009
    Last edited: May 26, 2009
  8. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    I'd secretly evaluate their every word and move until I determined that it was safe to let them in. Then, I might volunteer some information about myself that I usually wouldn't, and if they are receptive and probe further I will let them swim around in my brain as much as they want.

    Heheh.. On second thought, maybe I am sorta conscious of those walls..since I'm so strategic about who's in and who's not.
     
  9. OP
    Ophelia

    Ophelia Community Member

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  10. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    You said that you build walls and as a result, you are clingy with the people that you do let in. How do you know who to become attached to?
     
  11. OP
    Ophelia

    Ophelia Community Member

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    It's random, but normally it is someone who doesn't let really anyone in just about...sometimes I just feel this energy of the person and it's so pleasent that I cling and other times my heart strings just tangle up in a person.
     
  12. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Do you think that's something that is good for you? That's prob. a dumb question. I mean, have you ever thought about not living like that and how you could manage to do it?
     
  13. OP
    Ophelia

    Ophelia Community Member

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    I do think it is can be a problem but there is no solution that does not involve extreme mentle anguish and I don't like feeling that much pain...vomiting and babbling is not fun. Um, having too many people without a source of stability completely tears me apart mently. I seek out one person for stability who eventually leaves...when the last person left me I clung to the persons mom though so sometimes I think in a way things have a way of working out. Have you ever thought of different ways of living? Also I don't think it's a dumb question. I think it's deep.
     
    #13 Ophelia, May 26, 2009
    Last edited: May 26, 2009
  14. Naxx

    Naxx Permanent Fixture

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    In the beginning the inner wall was to protect people from knowing too much. For if they knew much they would have more power over me.

    I used to enjoy being a mystery as that gave me power over them as I knew more and more about them and they still knew little of me.

    However I learned that if you have confidence in the depth and beauty of your heart you would know that you'd still be a mystery no matter what. Also I came to the thought if you really were as beautiful and special as you thought you were it'd be a shame not the let the world see.

    Now a days I keep my inner wall up for people who aren't ready to see who I am. For if they see who I truly am they might become angered as they realize how much of who they really are (which has happened multiple times).

    So now I use my walls to slowly let people understand who I am instead of a full blast.



    I don't think all walls have to be prisons. However when you let your walls prevent you from doing what your hopes and dreams desire that is the time when it becomes one.

    It's often best to be to turn a negative into the positive and all you have to do is truly believe.

    Because most things are not inherently good or evil but often up to you to decide; perspective changes things.
     
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  15. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Well, I used to be similiar. I used to rely on other people for my emotional stability or just to make me feel good and safe. I was really clingy. Then I started thinking that I was tired of the roller coaster because usually, people are unreliable. Besides, people have their own lives to live and they can't be there for me every five seconds. (That's what I started thinking.)

    There's a concept called, "healthy detachment" that I began to practice. I would still love the people that I let into my inner world, I'd still be concerned for them, yet I would be able to let them go. It took a lot of focus and I had to keep reminding myself that just because I let this person into my inner world doesn't mean that I have some claim on them and make them a prisoner of my inner world.
     
  16. OP
    Ophelia

    Ophelia Community Member

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    That was beautiful Naxx:m033: If I new how to give those green things and could I would for that.
     
  17. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Hit the little white scale underneath where it says power in his post.
     
  18. OP
    Ophelia

    Ophelia Community Member

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    That would just be too sad for me. Even if it would work I wouldn't do itAlt Ctr Del. Well, I guess to each his own, hah? I know it is hard and people are often unreliable but as long as my top priority is the people I care about most and my top moral is loyalty I have faith that things will work out even if often don't. I mean I need to feel alive and live life the way I do for going outside of the walls for a bit or for a few people means the world to me. YAY! thanks for the instructions!
     
    #18 Ophelia, May 26, 2009
    Last edited: May 26, 2009
  19. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Yeah, if it works for you then do it. I just mean that when I was in my clingy stage, I was really unhappy. But to each their own.
     
  20. OP
    Ophelia

    Ophelia Community Member

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    You wanna know something though I think that I only think it is sad cause I would want the people who I cling to to cling to me too at least a bit...So I think that maybe clingy people would be beneficial for me...lol maybe that is a sad thought though
     
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