Not really. We are introverted because we tend to have heightened senses, sight, smell, hearing, taste, and - you guessed it - feeling. This is true for all introverts. We wouldn't exist in human society unless we were needed. Every introvert has special powers that others in a tribe lack, which help to insure the tribe's survival. What we suffer from the most is that we tend to lack social skills, so we can be abrupt and rude to others without meaning to be. Part of growing up, for introverts, is learning those social skills, and some of us never stop learning them. Extroverts have all of this figured out, while we have to go through the struggle, intentionally extroverting ourselves, in order to do simple things like socializing.
Anyway, your ideal mate isn't INTJs. It's us - INTPs. The INTJ may have been mistakenly characterized and might have been an INTP. INTJs try to imitate us that way (poking fun at the other INTJs here). INFJs tend to be more bedazzled by INTPs than other types.
And also, part of socializing yourself is growing a thick skin. Taking crap from people without getting all into cry mode and whatnot. Most of the time, people are testing you to see what you'll do. You can react or you can respond. Or you can ignore and let it roll off your back.
As for getting a fix on the personality type of the person you might be dating, I think it's pretty important. There are some personality types that will be just WRONG for you, in very big ways. While one might be able to sense that the person before you just seems "wonderful" to be around, this was probably the way we figured out compaibility long before typology was ever around. However, what seems wonderful early on can turn into a nightmare later on, perhaps even years later.
The alternative to forcing yourself to extrovert and learning how to socialize is to crawl into a hole and hide for your whole life. Which isn't very fun. Get out there, get hurt, get offended, get mad, and mostly, get used to it. It's not going away.
