10 things to on a date and or to seduce someone

I was gonna respond to lastdawn's thread with this, but found it deserved it's own thread. Here are my ten:



1.) Whisper dark seductive things into the victim’s ears.
2.) Make sure to allow the victim to walk off and pretend like it doesn’t want to sit near you; then convince it that it does.
3.) Talk to the victim and make jokes, horrible, dark ones. The victim will eventually blurt things out uncontrollably. Act interested, because you are interested.
4.) Make sure to share the story about when you had to beat your mom’s boyfriend down with a broomstick and how you were incarcerated. Emphasize that you are not normally violent but you couldn’t let your mother suffer anymore.
5.) Explain to the victim how you hear voices and how you’ve been diagnosed with schitzophrenia. Either act happy about it and smug, or deny that you think there is a such thing as the condition with complex, intelligent off the wall sounding theories.
6.) Discuss your anarchist views and other paranoid, off the wall views. Make racist jokes but assure the victim you are not racist, that you just like to get in people’s faces and ruff them up a bit to test the waters.
7.) Talk about how you have a dungeon full of sex toys in your basement and how you like to consume blood. Explain your skills in sex, and that you aren’t the in and out kind of person. Explain that you find blood sexually pleasing, and offer to participate in this some day.
8.) Explain how you have done hard core drugs in the past to enlighten yourself. Then explain how they didn’t work, but you’ve still gained some insight from it.
9.) Retrieve the victim’s cellphone number. Once the victim is out of sight, text it disturbing poetic strings of words that often depict violence in a lustful, attractive way. Make up forms of torture that are so original and creative that it would render anyone a suspect in a variety of crimes. The victim will save the text messages and lust over them.
10.) Be evasive with your line of work. Explain you work for your uncle, but do not disclose what you do or how much it pays. Just say, it’s complicated. Allow someone else to reveal that you work at an old folk’s home or something cheesy like that, and then let the victim confront you. Explain to the victim that, you didn’t want your charity to affect it’s perception of you.

 

Could someone change the title to

"10 thing to do on a date or to seduce someone"