...I do this I cant keep people in my life who constantly hurt me. I have been known to give them two or three chances before i cut them off completely. In the end its always more emotional torment to keep trying.
Why shouldn't I?
- Thread starter Faye
- Start date
S
Shai Gar
Cutting people directly out is the most appropriate method of dealing with this, and the most mature.
Only bullies insist on being allowed to stay in your circle, and that's so they can continue to taunt them. When you cut them out, you're basically saying "I allow you no power to influence me." It's for the best.
You just have to mentally cut them off as well, and if they're there while you're with another friend, to see the other friend, just ignore them.
Only bullies insist on being allowed to stay in your circle, and that's so they can continue to taunt them. When you cut them out, you're basically saying "I allow you no power to influence me." It's for the best.
You just have to mentally cut them off as well, and if they're there while you're with another friend, to see the other friend, just ignore them.
*Sighs* yeah...
But it can be frustrating getting ditched and not knowing why.
Confrontation... oy this is just full of bad memories this thread.
*Sighs* yeah...
But it can be frustrating getting ditched and not knowing why.
Confrontation... oy this is just full of bad memories this thread.
Then you need to be the one to confront the INFJ...cuz the INFJ just hides...and we hide WELL!!
I guess it depends on who you're dealing with. There are some for whom, having a nice and polite conversation about why you don't want to be in touch anymore, won't really work. They won't get it. They'll think it's ridiculous. Whereas, others may respect your reason, accept it, wish you well, and just let it go.
I almost completely disagree with that :/ Not all, or even most, people are out to bring others down.
The only person I've ever confronted about this was my best friend from 6th grade. Our first year of college, he did something, and I said, "I don't want to be friends with you anymore." I wrote him a Dear John letter. I would have told him personally, but I prefer writing, and he was a 6-hour drive away.*Sighs* yeah...
But it can be frustrating getting ditched and not knowing why.
Confrontation... oy this is just full of bad memories this thread.
However, in this case, the confrontation was easier than putting up with his shit. It's all about efficiency, really.
EDIT: oh, and the fact that he was my best friend, for like, 8 years. He did deserve to know I was breaking up with him.
Last edited:
I would, but I don't think they would care. It is basically why I took them off in the first place. I honestly don't think that they are going to notice that I am gone even though some of them are people whom I talked to a ton and/or hung out with or made explicit that I wanted to hang out with them on numerous occasions. Most of these people were like "yeah, I'd love to hang out" and then blew me off.
It is really sad and I feel guilty for doing it, but I don't have time to waste on them. They don't take responsibility for what they say, and I don't just want to be a guy they down on but aren't actual friends with.
S
Shai Gar
Put it in the context of the people he's talking about. They very obviously are, I was also talking about Uberrogos statement that he shouldn't "cut someone off, because it's immature".
I will allow relationships to eventually decay and fall off if they are not built on mutuality. Because I don't have the energy to focus on multiple people if there is nothing substantial there or if I can't intuit anything substantial being formed.
I delete people from social networking sites and my cellphone. Though I don't entirely close myself off from the idea of ever talking to them again and allowing for a friendship to rekindle.
It's happened. People grow and change, etc. That's why I think ignoring is a bad idea.
I delete people from social networking sites and my cellphone. Though I don't entirely close myself off from the idea of ever talking to them again and allowing for a friendship to rekindle.
It's happened. People grow and change, etc. That's why I think ignoring is a bad idea.
S
Shai Gar
Sure, people grow and change, but as far as i'm concerned, if they've sought to offend me, they never get another chance.
It's all about consequence, the most natural chain reaction throughout the universe. Cause and Effect.
It's all about consequence, the most natural chain reaction throughout the universe. Cause and Effect.
I agree. If I want to stop dealing with someone, I will simply make it clear to the appropriate people that I do not want to be around them if I have any choice. As I've said, I will still try to be friendly during such a time that I have no choice.
When I do this, I leave it up to the person to pursue it further. If they understand why what they did is not acceptable to me (rather than simply being aware that it wasn't acceptable to me but not knowing the reason) and are sincerely sorry, I will take that into account. If they ask why, I will try to explain it once, and actually I will have gone over my potential explanation in my head several times. This is as much for me as it is for them, because I need to be aware of what my problems actually are. It is important to give them this opportunity if they seek it out, although they may not care and I can proceed as planned.
This all sounds very systematic and thought out but the truth is that I have not had to do it very much.
Last edited: