Why do I avoid doing things with people when I want a lasting frienship so bad?

The title is the one of the most prominent problems I have in my social life. I get these urges to do things with people but, something- possibly the fear of awkwardness, causes me to hesitate to do things with people when I clearly want to be around that person, get to know or bond with that person.

I think that is one of the reasons I may have disappeared from the forum for awhile. I don't know, it also had a lot to do with school, not having hardly any time to be alone and process anything that I was going through.

But there are a few people in my life, one being a former cousin by marriage, who I absolutely adore and would LOVE to hang out with but I just... don't. I love when she shows up and she is my hairdresser so I see her for that too. There are others as well, a couple other INFJ's that I would just love to become friends with, but I just can't! What's my problem, and why can't I just... hang out with someone and not be afraid of... whatever it is that I am afraid of!?

My family gets so mad at me because I don't call or text for days or weeks. I don't have an answer for them. I say that I've been depressed, and in these times I usually have a backwards schedule where I will sleep in the daytime or just hide in my room from everyone. Ugh. But when I do call, or go hang out, I end up really enjoying it and getting sad that I don't do it more. Why does it have to be so complicated? It's so lonely. But I do this to myself!

I need an e-hug from others who understand.

 

Yes and no. Lol. The people that I desperately want to be close with wouldn't put me in an uncomfortable situation.

But I so avoid those that do put me in those situations over and over like the plague. So you are right in a way, because I do that.

However, today I decided to answer the 3rd phone call from one of those people and was guilted very easily into lending her some money. :/ Why did I answer that call? She isn't in need it was for food on a trip to Carowinds. I avoid so many calls and the one that I answer is the one I shouldn't have... Lol

 

Lol!

Some of my family are extroverted, and some are just self centered introverts who want my company, but aren't willing to come to me or even contact me, yet when I do see them, they act offended that I don't reach out to them our come see them etc...

 

Thanks for the hug!!! I know that's what I need to do! It's just so hard to make myself do things!!! I wish I was more self disciplined.

 

Well when I'm interested in someone -romantically or friendly- I can't leave them alone. Lol! I risk sounding desperate because I want them in my life so bad. That might push some people away, but personally, if someone had that much love for me to be so persistent and not give up... I would feel so special.

 

Do you mean you've not met anyone who avoid calls like you do? Or did you mean anyone who answers calls when you don't want to?

I don't know as much as I'd like to know about cognitive functions, but I'd like to know that myself.

 

Lol at the meme!!

 

Then yes!!! That's me too. I love texting, but ask me to have a phone call or video chat and I hesitate. Much less meeting up to hang out. I know I would have a great time too, it's just the fear of something like awkwardness or humiliation and I don't understand it. Blah!

 

Haha I tried moving away when I was younger, didn't help at all, I just missed the opportunity to be able to drive to my parents houses if I wanted haha.