Who is more naturally selective about attraction: men or women? | INFJ Forum

Who is more naturally selective about attraction: men or women?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Feb 25, 2016.

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  1. Gaze

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    Who is more naturally selective about attraction: men or women? Do you think the social selection criteria we use to judge the attractiveness of people today works for or against natural selection?
     
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  2. JJJA

    JJJA Permanent Fixture

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    Women are more naturally selective of attraction because....

    [​IMG]
     
  3. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
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    It's not exactly about "more" or "less" but instead about complexity. It's in the whole dynamic. Men pursue any/every woman who will give them attention while women pursue a particular set of skills and abilities. Men's selection process is "are you loveable" and women's selection process is "do you have appropriate qualifications" (which may include but is not limited to "are you loveable")

    Men have been viewed primarily as providers, so all that is required in a mate is that they will accept the love provided to them. Women have been seen as many things, more dynamic types of caretakers in some circumstances and less so in others, and so their selection process is more muddled. Men have a simple and straightforward role and so they have a simple and straightforward selection process.

    Things are shifting though. The provider role of men is being killed and women are pursuing autonomy while at the same time still having that biological desire for a provider. Men are losing purpose and women are gaining a void. Self-sabotage in the name of progress. It leaves men going their own way ultimately becoming depressive and anti-social while women are increasingly confused and unhappy.
     
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  4. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    Given the prevalence of polygamy, outside the Christian sphere (both geographically and historically), there is probably more pressure for females to be more selective. Men can "sow their oats" more broadly, hedging their genetic bets.
     
    #4 Flavus Aquila, Feb 25, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2016
  5. rawr

    rawr ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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    each gender is full of individuals with different preferences.

    Stereotypically, i think men are more selective physically/appearance-wise, maybe women moreso socially or other non-physical factors. However, depends on the person.
     
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  6. Scientia

    Scientia A true lady

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    I always thought the selectivity came from being able to be selective. For example, one man in a cabin with 10 women can be selective because he has no competition. He had also better run away after he chooses one.
     
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  7. rawr

    rawr ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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    where do i find this supposed cabin? :)
     
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  8. OP
    Gaze

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    So, the more options, the more selective, regardless if the options are varied or the same?
     
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  9. ruji

    ruji Well-known member

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    What attracts men and women are different.
    We are equally attracted to whatever we're attracted to.
    Selective women select over a longer period of time.
    Selective men have decided from the beginning.
    Social conditioning and other factors grant women the advantage, which overall gives them more flexibility, including the luxury of being more selective.
     
  10. Artisan

    Artisan Dares, Dreams, Does

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    In the end it's an individual thing.
    But in general terms, I believe society as a whole puts an emphasis on physical attractiveness.
    I'd say women are more selective than men in the country where I live.
     
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  11. Xroads

    Xroads Community Member

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    Are we talking laws of nature or influences from society? Regardless of either, I am thinking that women have more of a selection than men do, but ultimately the selective processes are different for men and women.

    In laws of nature, I believe women are more selective. There are numerous studies done (google it) and documentaries that have shown that the reason why women have a heightened sense of smell is for this very purpose. Pheromones and such can tell a woman instantly if a man's genetic code will compliment hers to promote vitality and strength of the species. And yet, even with an intense physical attraction, a woman is less likely to pursue a relationship if personality and core values clash.

    From a societal standpoint, I think men are far more visually selective than women. Though there are many women that swoon over a fantastic smile, that is not the reason they decide to date someone. Men see a woman that they are attracted to and if they choose to pursue it, they are more likely to start a relationship based on initial attractions.

    There is always an exception to every "rule", however.
     
  12. Hmmmmm tricky....physical attraction is important for both sexes (more so with men) but when it comes to the "selective" part, I would definitely say women have the upper hand....certainly true in my case because I want more than just good looks :)
     
  13. flower

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    I don't think it has anything to do with the gender, but about the global culture and personal preferences. I can be wrong too, though! lol..
     
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  14. invisible

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  15. Flavus Aquila

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    A man can potentially father hundreds of children in the time it takes a woman to have one of her own. There's less pressure on men to be selective.
     
  16. flower

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    That's true, there's definitely more pressure on women if looking in that way. Also there are more men in many countries than women, so women can be more selective, I guess...
     
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    Gaze

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  18. OP
    Gaze

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    I don't think guys are as naturally selective because they value different traits. Each gender seems willing to ignore or tolerate some attributes if they feel they'll get ones they value the most in the person. Guys seem more willing to tolerate certain personality flaws if they are strongly sexually attracted to their partner and that partner maybe emotionally available (support). Women are more likely to do the same for men with particular traits such as good guy, provider, stable, devoted, funny, etc.
     
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    #18 Gaze, Feb 26, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2016
  19. Matt3737

    Matt3737 Similes are like songs in love.

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    The Onion is a satirical/comedic website. It's not serious.
     
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  20. OP
    Gaze

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    I know, but there's still a kernel of truth to the situation, which I believe is their point.
     
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