What Is Love? | INFJ Forum

What Is Love?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by HolySmoke, Feb 1, 2009.

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  1. HolySmoke

    HolySmoke endeavoring to persevere

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    The English language is limited on the word. We can be presumptuous with it's interpretation, but must understand the depth in which it can draw out emotions and feelings. For that I would rely upon the Greeks for their best interpretations on the subject. They have 5 words for love.

    The most beautiful, in my mind is Agape and as a Mother, Storge.
    Agape : The highest form of love. It is unconditional love for others, in spite of their character flaws and weaknesses.

    This level of love may be difficult to achieve simply because we, as humans, are usually concerned more with ourselves and our own survival, how we are perceived, understood and affected by the world around us. To love in the agape way, selfishness and ego are put aside to look to the needs of others.

    Wikipedia :
    Agape (ἀγάπη agápē) means love in modern-day Greek. The term s'agapo means I love you in Greek. The word agapo is the verb I love. It generally refers to a "pure," ideal type of love, rather than the physical attraction suggested by eros. However, there are some examples of agape used to mean the same as eros. It has also been translated as "love of the soul."

    Eros (ἔρως érōs) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Greek word erota means in love. Plato refined his own definition. Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth by eros. Some translations list it as "love of the body."

    Philia (φιλία philía), a dispassionate virtuous love, was a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality, and familiarity. Philia is motivated by practical reasons; one or both of the parties benefit from the relationship. It can also mean "love of the mind."

    Storge (στοργή storgē) is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring.

    Xenia (ξενία xenía), hospitality, was an extremely important practice in Ancient Greece. It was an almost ritualized friendship formed between a host and his guest, who could previously have been strangers. The host fed and provided quarters for the guest, who was expected to repay only with gratitude. The importance of this can be seen throughout Greek mythology—in particular, Homer's Iliad and Odyssey.
     
    #1 HolySmoke, Feb 1, 2009
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2009
  2. J. Cardigan

    J. Cardigan Community Member

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    Baby don't hurt, don't hurt me, no more...

    (You knew it was coming ;))

    The highest form of love someone can get from me is when, in a life or death situation, I'd put their life above my own. Not too many people have that privilege.
     
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  3. OP
    HolySmoke

    HolySmoke endeavoring to persevere

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    :( Sorry, but no, I certainly didn't and don't understand it either.

    Wait, I remember, it's a song ! !
     
    #3 HolySmoke, Feb 1, 2009
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2009
  4. mayflow

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    Everything HAS to revolve around Agape. It's like a Universal rule! Agape is like a black hole in it's intensity and it creates a gravitational field of pure love around it. Eros and the others are part and parcel, but agape is the whole. , well, at least I think that is what Reality Girl is teaching me about. :smile:
     
  5. KingOfSpades

    KingOfSpades Community Member

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    For all our advances in technology it's amazing how little we have studied our emotions, particularly love.

    I tend to think of all emotions as a "vibration" that we give off. In my mind, love is a certain type of vibration whereby we resonate at the same frequency of someone else.

    Universal love is a vibration whereby we resonate at the same frequency with the universe.

    I think meditation, prayer, self-knowledge and so forth is a good way of tossing out our egos so that we can vibrate more in tune with others, and with the universe. when we feel selfish, or egotistical, our vibrations don't resonate with anything....and we lose our connections.
     
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  6. OP
    HolySmoke

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    I agree fully, but what if the vibration we feel in others is hatred, jealousy, pettiness, anger, un-harnessed egos of others...INFJ's sense and hide from that.
     
  7. KingOfSpades

    KingOfSpades Community Member

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    Agreed...I guess those emotions are different forms of resonance as well, which we can detect. Something I play around with my mind is matching emotions with music....since music, too, is just a vibration of a string. So in dealing with people who resonate like that, I try and "listen" for the right vibration I can give off that will lead to the "melody" or "harmony" i want as the outcome. It makes my relationships like Art, which is fascinating....this, of course, only when I'm paying attention!!! which is rare, but happens more and more thankfully.
     
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  8. mayflow

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    Then, of course we must feel compassion, right? Because we know these do not lead to freedom of mind and true happiness. But somtimes, we feel such goo vibes from one-another and this gives us so much heart and spirit and hope, yes?
     
  9. OP
    HolySmoke

    HolySmoke endeavoring to persevere

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    That is really cool. I do that with space since I am more visually-spatially oriented by nature. Vibration exists to me in harmonious spaces. Did you know that proportioning systems in space can also be created by scaling octaves? (This was my thesis and why I love Palladio.) This is also a reason why architecture facinates me. I have a love of creating harmonious and aesthetically pleasing and functional environments and have made a career of it. At first glance it seems a materialistic pursuit, but to me, I see design as a method to positively impact environments, emotions, sense of inner peace and so forth. Perhaps it also links back to maternal nesting instincts. (Ok, I've gone fully circle, I think.)

    So, what do you do with the negative energy? Those vibes that hurt? IMHO, I think there is a way to achieve agape in those circumstances as well with continued forgiveness.

    Oh, and I get now the first reply was a song...lol...SNL skit was funny on that one. Sorry, I was kind of slow on that one.
     
  10. OP
    HolySmoke

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    Yes, of course. Compassion is a form of loving in the agape sense in both forgiving others and realizing our limitations in fully understanding their motivations, backgrounds and personal experiences.
     
  11. mayflow

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    I meant good, not goo. I guess I can't fix or edit my mistakes without making new posts. Holy cow, this could lead to a lot of extra postings! :smile:
     
  12. OP
    HolySmoke

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    Ideally, yes. It is a worthy goal.
     
  13. OP
    HolySmoke

    HolySmoke endeavoring to persevere

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    I know. It came across as good, which is how most would read it.
     
  14. ZenCat

    ZenCat Waving Sage

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    Hay!! You put this song in my head and now I Can't.Get.It.Out!!!!

    [youtube]QE61Bz7IHKg[/youtube]
     
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  15. OP
    HolySmoke

    HolySmoke endeavoring to persevere

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    Yep and I'm still singing that lovely song from the other thread from the other night now too...

    But with regards to compassion...we can have a general level of compassion towards people and specifically friends, family and other figures and so forth, yes. When we start to get specific in our conversations, it requires intuition, experience and understanding of the other person. That's when it gets difficult. The idea is as simple as this...a guy on a train with his kids running around wild. "Control your kids" says the other passenger. "Oh, sorry, I just learned my wife has cancer." That type of thing I find important... Understanding that we don't understand, that's we simply can not be all knowing. Only God has that ability. So, compassion, absolutely... Knowing, not so much. Walking a mile in anothers shoes takes a lot of time and understanding and who can do that for everyone we meet?

    Sorry, I'm rambling, but find all of this striking and appreciate others input.
     
  16. KingOfSpades

    KingOfSpades Community Member

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    K I had to google Palladio -- really sweet, I have to read more about architecture. Are you familiar with Feng Shui? I think the theory behind that is that space and design impact our energies (and our vibrations), and there's a whole science behind it in Eastern cultures. I had no idea you could scale with octaves.

    Harmony for me is such an important thing in so many facets of my life, including design, and art, and the type of music I like. Music effects our emotional states and does crazy things to us at times -- I think that's a real world effect of certain vibrations causing us to change. It's certainly not a big leap in logic to think that the way we use space in the real world impacts us in a variety of ways.

    I don't know, that's a fantastic question. I think that's THE question in a lot of ways. If you cultivate harmony, you reach a point where you see how much there is that is not harmonious, and in fact how a lot of people live their lives trying to make things as disharmonious as possible. When I think of unrestrained greed and the excess of corporate capitalitsm, I think of life-out-of-balance ("Koyanisqattsi"), and the principle that the few can take from the many and from Nature without any thought of consequence.

    We are born into an environment where there is a lot of negative energy. I get yelled at for a living (basically) by people who are certainly older than me in age but who I have a hard time accepting as older than me in spirit. I hope I don't sound egotistical in writing this, but seriously, there are many many people of advanced age who act like children -- who are selfish, who are not respectful, who think that Nature is something that can be destroyed withotu consequence. One of the things I've learned to do, at least in the work environment, is keep myself focused on the outcome I want. When someone sends me negative vibes, I again try and think about my response to get where i want to go -- psychic judo or something like that.

    I've tried to develop a lot of skins too...I read a native American proverb once along the lines of the importance of creating seven "layers" of skin, so that when someone hurts the first layer, there are six more to go before you feel hurt, and you can still keep yourself grounded in harmony.

    I think illness has a lot to do with vibrations as well...

    All the Masters (a term I like for enlightened beings) counsel that love is the answer to negative energy, that the vibration of love can convert any other vibration and can in fact change the world. I guess if this were an easy thing to do the Earth would be a paradise by now.
     
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  17. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    I really wish this wasn't such an unanswered experienced yet out of reach mystery, if you know what I mean.
     
  18. OP
    HolySmoke

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    I think, quite honestly, that the answer is simple and right in front of us. That is what is so amusing, yet tragic about it. Love simply exists. It is everywhere. Even where there is pain, there is opportunity for it. Where there is confusion, there is still the possibility of it. It is a matter of seeing it and accepting it. We should not be ashamed as humans to love. Indeed, it is our right.

    Now, God, on the other hand, is unknowable because God or the other mysteries represent everything that is and is not, so humans have no capacity to understand it all completely, but one version (or thumbprint) of it. That's what makes us argue the same point over and over throughout the ages. Each has their own version and if they don't they have the bibles version or whatever religious institution to guide them. It is all good as long as no one is harmed.

    ...But love can be known and understood quite easily. We just need to remind ourselves of the obvious. It is part of who we are or who we are capable of being at any given moment.
     
  19. alcyone

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  20. OP
    HolySmoke

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    Yes, well, only to the extent that I have studied it, and build it into design without my client necessarily being in full knowing that that is part of the service. It is not my highest consideration, but your point on creating energy is to me something that I take very seriously. What I don't do is follow all of the rules, such as provided by Palladio, but bend them to fit the personalities of the clients. That way I am not redoing what has been done before, but shaping them to today's standards. I don't think I have articulated this very well. It is such an extensive subject, but yes, there are magic numbers that make a room feel visually balanced. Since I can't work with perfect conditions or proportions I have to make them as balanced as possible. But, creating symmetry isn't always the answer. Often creating a bit of disharmony and imbalance creates tension that is also necessary, very necessary, in fact to show the uniqueness of each of us.

    (When I did give my thesis, one of my classmates said, boy, you just put us all to sleep. I laughed because it was riveting to me !) Ratios of 3:5 or 6:10 worked by Palladio's standards, but really I saw many of these villas and have my own opinions for modern day living. I could go on and on...It's my passion, my career, so I'll leave it there.
     
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