what do you call this? | INFJ Forum

what do you call this?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Grey Wolf, Aug 21, 2009.

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  1. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    no idea
    this is a very interesting emotion(if you call this an emotion in the 1st place).
    I'm stumped as what people would term this so I've decided to ask it here :m083:

    hmm.. this is too foreign to me so I'm just gonna shoot what comes to mind. its gonna seem random but please bear with me.

    Ok, we're friends, we hardly talk outside of social situations that we are in, but we are relatively close in those situations. we seem to think relatively alike. most probably ESFP. was never attracted so to speak until very recently. now, comes into mind every now and then, quite annoying. has that feeling which I really do not like. feeling comes n goes. and I mean comes and goes. quite literally one min here one min gone. when with the person, completely friends. I dont do special things for her or anything. feelings come and go also in those situations. BUT even when comes, dont do anything. as in like, give my fries or something.

    what the feth do you guys term this?
    the feelings been annoying the crap outta me but at the same time, its intriguing 'cos this never happened before.

    sorry for the incoherence. i really have no idea how to put this into words but knowing what to term this is annoying:m080:

    thanks guys
     
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  2. Khloriael

    Khloriael Community Member

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    How old are you? When did you meet this girl? What has your relationship been like up until these feelings? Do you think she feels the same way? What are they feelings like? Are you interested in her physically, or because of her personality?
     
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  3. OP
    Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    no idea
    thanks for the fast reply :mblow:
    1)I'm 18, shes 19.
    2)when..hmm...last year somewhere cant remember.
    3)Friends. now still friends and 99.9% sure it will remain so.
    4)honestly, no.
    5)I have no idea how to describe them. its kinda like when you like someone but then again they disappear as if they were never there after awhile and when I do stuff I can fully concentrate on the stuff I'm doing without her coming into my mind. but then again, there is the feeling on and off. :noidea:
    6) again, I have no idea but I guess it could be a mixuture of both. But my bet is on one of the things in Psychology which I picked up while revising for my test which is next week XD .

    the two factor theory of emotion : arousal X its label = emotion :m114:
     
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  4. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    I would think that the emotion is some kind of Anxiety. Since it revolves around her and is On/Off.
     
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  5. OP
    Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    no idea
    cool.. anxiety? how so?
    I'm not scared of her. in fact I distub her on a regualr basis hehe.
    edit: also, I can interact with her. but now that you've mentioned it, there is a little of it. nice one!
     
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    #5 Grey Wolf, Aug 21, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2009
  6. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    Haha yea, it would be funny if you were scared of her.

    Anxiety occurs without an identifiable trigger. It is distinguished from fear, because there is no observed threat. :p
    Sometimes it arises as a future-oriented state in which one prepares to attempt to cope with an upcoming imagined negative event.
     
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  7. OP
    Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    no idea
    ahh... now that make sense hahaha
    this could be it haha. 'cos honestly, right now, I'm quite afraid of making any of my relationships with people into anything more than friendships haha
     
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  8. Khloriael

    Khloriael Community Member

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    Hmmm, this is my own personal opinion;

    I think that you are good friends and that what is happening is your brain is going toward the base instincts. What I mean by that is, subconsciously you want to sleep with her. Don't worry it's nothing bad. Humans have evolved to ignore most of what our genes tell us anyway.

    It sounds like a fleeting schoolboy crush, I had one on Shakira when she first came out with "Whenever, wherever". You are spending time with her and so your hormones are reacting to that, happens to us all. Even in the best of friends who are male/female have some under toe of this. Most of the time it isn;t recognised, either because you are too close as friends to notice, or because of a pre existing intimate relationship with another person.

    I think in your case you are really good friends so you have the weird instinct you want to reproduce with her (because that is all it is) but the logical human portion (because no other animal has it) is saying "Dude.... she is your buddy".

    The solution: Well, I am a huge fan of becoming friends with benefits personally, but that doesn't suit most people, in fact most people don't like the idea at all.
    I suppose you could just ignore it, the feelings will go away but you will be quite confused, the only worry with this direction is that your feelings might actually start developing.

    The main thing to focus on is that you are pretty certain she thinks of you as a friend, and women are more removed from that natural drive for sex so friendship means alot to them. I would try to throw your focus in another direction, maybe there is someone else you like? I don't know.

    If this makes sense good, if it doesn't then tell me and I will take another stab from another angle :)

    The problem for me is that usually when I get feelings like this, I pursue them, and they never affect my friendships, as long as everyone knows what it means but most importantly what is does NOT mean.
     
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  9. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    Hahah exactly! :) I think I know what you are experiencing now and I'm very familiar with it myself. All I know is that it will either turn into real feelings or subside. ^^

    By solely thinking about 'if it could turn into a relationship' in itself include so many more unconscious things like 'fear of change and if it will work out and what if it doesnt etc' which in turn will create fear as you two are first and foremost friends.

    Try to focus on the presense and somewhat keep your feet on the ground :) ^^
     
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  10. OP
    Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    no idea
    definitly not going for the friends with benefits thing. That would screw too much up haha (edit:eek:oo just realised the pun!). But I know what you're talking about and it makes perfect sense. thanks man, you just managed to help me identify this thing :mblow:

    oh yeah, Pristine, forgot to thank you in my previous post haha
    definitely will take your advice!. thanks!

    cool. identified in a few posts thanks to you guys when I spent 2 days on my own. should have came here and ask this in the 1st place :m2:
     
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    #10 Grey Wolf, Aug 21, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2009
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