Understand INFJ behavior and if he has feelings

[aeon]

I personally would have loved this hehe. When I hear of a female teacher sleeping with a teen schoolboy, it is a crime, but I doubt the boy was ever negatively affected by that. He probably loved it, let's face it. The most I could think he would suffer is because the relationship ended.

Yes, it is a crime, and that crime is called rape. Your casual dismissal of child sexual abuse makes you sound like one of the elites you go on about.

I invite you to do some research, and actually listen to the boys who were raped, and how their experience has affected them. Loved it? No, they don’t. That you would imagine it as something you would love either speaks to a profound ignorance, or you fetishize sexual assault because the idea excites you.

Have you ever been raped?

Wondering,
Ian

 

[David Nelson]

Yes, it is a crime, and that crime is called rape. Your casual dismissal of child sexual abuse makes you sound like one of the elites you go on about.

I invite you to do some research, and actually listen to the boys who were raped, and how their experience has affected them. Loved it? No, they don’t. That you would imagine it as something you would love either speaks to a profound ignorance, or you fetishize sexual assault because the idea excites you.

Have you ever been raped?

Wondering,
Ian

Oops, no you have misinterpreted what I meant. I did wonder if I had been too candid.
I mean consensual sex only. Not rape. I know it’s called rape if underage but that’s a legal term only. I don’t fetishise assault at all, I can just remember fantasising about some female teachers etc. All normal and perfectly natural.

Hope that clarifies what I said. I’m not condoning it. Different countries have different ages of consent, so illegal rape in one country is legal sex in another. Sex is the last taboo such that we cannot speak of gradations of sexual crimes, it’s all black and white. However, I think this is starting to change.

 

[aeon]

Oops, no you have misinterpreted what I meant.

I don’t think I did. I took you at your word, nothing more.

I did wonder if I had been too candid.

I don’t know if there is such a thing.

I mean consensual sex only. Not rape.

Typically, schoolboys cannot consent under the law, so yes, rape is what you described. If you didn’t mean to, then I suggest you be more clear about what you say.

I know it’s called rape if underage but that’s a legal term only.

A legal term only...okay.

I don’t fetishise assault at all, I can just remember fantasising about some female teachers etc. All normal and perfectly natural.

That’s fair.

Hope that clarifies what I said. I’m not condoning it. Different countries have different ages of consent, so illegal rape in one country is legal sex in another. Sex is the last taboo such that we cannot speak of gradations of sexual crimes, it’s all black and white. However, I think this is starting to change.

It clarified things, yes. Perhaps not in the way you might have liked.

And you never answered my question.

Thanks,
Ian

 

[David Nelson]

I don’t think I did. I took you at your word, nothing more.



I don’t know if there is such a thing.



Typically, schoolboys cannot consent under the law, so yes, rape is what you described. If you didn’t mean to, then I suggest you be more clear about what you say.



A legal term only...okay.



That’s fair.



It clarified things, yes. Perhaps not in the way you might have liked.

And you never answered my question.

Thanks,
Ian

No I’ve not been raped. Have you?
I don’t understand the concept in terms of forcing someone against their will. I have never fantasised about that makes no sense, even though some people do.

I see a big difference between that and an underage person willingly having sex with an older person. I can tell you if I had done that, which would be legal rape by the older person, I know I would have had no regrets or suffering whatsoever. In fact the opposite.
Forced rape with coercion/force/violence is a very different thing.
I know a minor cannot legally consent but in reality you can know if you want to do something or not.

 

[David Nelson]

I really hope I haven’t upset anyone. I’ll avoid this subject in future. Too controversial.

 

[aeon]

No I’ve not been raped. Have you?

Yes, chronically as a child, and once as an adult, by a dentist while under anesthesia.

I don’t understand the concept in terms of forcing someone against their will. I have never fantasised about that makes no sense, even though some people do.

And that’s understood, because force against will is the easiest form of violation of consent to appreciate and understand.

I see a big difference between that and an underage person willingly having sex with an older person. I can tell you if I had done that, which would be legal rape by the older person, I know I would have had no regrets or suffering whatsoever. In fact the opposite.

I’ll take your word for it. You would be in the minority.

Forced rape with coercion/force/violence is a very different thing. I know a minor cannot legally consent but in reality you can know if you want to do something or not.

When I was three, after having been abandoned by my mother, I wanted someone. I’m not really sure if in reality I had the critical faculties to know exactly what I wanted, or needed, and someone took advantage of that. I was three, she was 14. She never forced me, she never used violence. What exactly did I want?

Best to You,
Ian

 

[David Nelson]

Oh no, really sorry you had to suffer that, that is awful. Clearly at 3 you can’t make decisions about that sort of thing. I can totally understand your reactions to my comments which were pretty unwise in retrospect. I can be too open at times.
Sorry if I upset or annoyed you.
All the Best
Dave

 

[aeon]

I really hope I haven’t upset anyone. I’ll avoid this subject in future. Too controversial.

I don’t think there is any controversy about rape. I don’t think anyone is advocating for it.

You said what you said, and I felt upset, and I own that...that’s on me, not you.

I can well appreciate your point, but your words didn’t serve you well. Many of the things you said are the phrases used by groomers and those who assault. I am quite sure this was not your intention. I am offering this to you as feedback, and you of course can do with this what you like.

Cheers,
Ian

 

[David Nelson]

That’s fine. I accept my words were not wise. I am not an abuser or groomer but understand why you felt/thought that way. It’s a minefield this subject. I’m pissed at myself for venting like I did. Oh well, we live and learn.

Dave.