Truly Kind and Gentle People

Flavus Aquila

Flavus Aquila

Finding My Place in the Sun
Banned
MBTI
INTJ - A
Enneagram
10000
Are implicitly kind people rare? ... I mean people who never have a snarky, annoyed look, or word for anyone.

People always seem to have a kindly bias towards others who are variously; useful, agree with them, are agreeable, are interesting, who they pity, who they love, vulnerable, etc. What about people who are kind to everyone without exception?

..

I think such people are very rare and I'm always stunned and delighted to know they exist.
 
yes i exist. :m163: thank you for appreciating.:m032:
 
Flavus Aquila said:
Are implicitly kind people rare? ... I mean people who never have a snarky, annoyed look, or word for anyone.
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I used to be like this, before the world fucked me up.
Now I'm mostly like this...but I do have the occasional snarky, annoyed look and word for some people too.... Ha ha.

Were still human right?
 
Flavus Aquila said:
Are implicitly kind people rare? ... I mean people who never have a snarky, annoyed look, or word for anyone.

People always seem to have a kindly bias towards others who are variously; useful, agree with them, are agreeable, are interesting, who they pity, who they love, vulnerable, etc. What about people who are kind to everyone without exception?

..

I think such people are very rare and I'm always stunned and delighted to know they exist.
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I'll say that you can be both a kind person and still occasionally be /snarky/ or give /annoyed looks/. I think it's a weird way to put it to say that we're supposed to be these all loving perfect people. We all have bad days, and sometimes we take it out in perhaps not so constructive ways.

And on another note we can ask ourselves - why do we do this, and is it all bad? I think that on some level when we're imposing ourselves I think that -even if not an active thought- we try to change someones behavior. Often not a good way to go about it, but I think this governs the question of political correctness. We can't both take high ground - saying we need to be respected, while all the same saying we can't cater to people's whims and feelings. Or maybe we can, but I do think it gets a bit ridiculous at times.
 
LittleLissa said:
I used to be like this, before the world fucked me up.
Now I'm mostly like this...but I do have the occasional snarky, annoyed look and word for some people too.... Ha ha.

Were still human right?
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i think you're the sweetest, most kind person <3
 
Elis said:
I'll say that you can be both a kind person and still occasionally be /snarky/ or give /annoyed looks/. I think it's a weird way to put it to say that we're supposed to be these all loving perfect people. We all have bad days, and sometimes we take it out in perhaps not so constructive ways.

And on another note we can ask ourselves - why do we do this, and is it all bad? I think that on some level when we're imposing ourselves I think that -even if not an active thought- we try to change someones behavior. Often not a good way to go about it, but I think this governs the question of political correctness. We can't both take high ground - saying we need to be respected, while all the same saying we can't cater to people's whims and feelings. Or maybe we can, but I do think it gets a bit ridiculous at times.
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Sincere self-preservation and setting/maintaining boundaries need not be snarky. Snarkiness is just gratuitously mean/nasty, when a simple "no" will suffice.
 
Flavus Aquila said:
Sincere self-preservation and setting/maintaining boundaries need not be snarky. Snarkiness is just gratuitously mean/nasty, when a simple "no" will suffice.
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Yeah, I agree with you. I think that being polite is preferable, but I think it's unreasonable to hold people to a standard of perfection. As I said, we all have bad days. It's great when you have the insight to realize when to step back, but I don't blame people who slip up once in a while. Try to be constructive about it instead, and try to talk things out later on.

Anyway, I'm rambling on. What do you think of what I said on political correctness?
 
No, I don't think this type of person exists. They wouldn't be human, or they would be going through some severe repression. Even children who have been sheltered from negative experiences can be dicks. So I seriously doubt a person could reach adulthood and maintain a totally consistent kind and caring outlook. Unless they've achieved some kind of Buddha like inner peace.
 
Yes, they exist, and they are rare. @Kgal and @Free are this type of person. Both have become this way through dedicated study. I'm certain that there are other people on this forum like this, and I hope that they will not be offended that I am not mentioning them because I am thinking of them right now (@hush @Wyote @Gale @Stu I'm looking at you...), but these are just two examples that really stand out for me as I am typing this.

(Haha.)

I try to be this type of person but it takes a lot of work and I'm not there yet. But I learn all the time.
 
Flavus Aquila said:
Sincere self-preservation and setting/maintaining boundaries need not be snarky. Snarkiness is just gratuitously mean/nasty, when a simple "no" will suffice.
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It's true, we should try and aim for clarity and truth in the way we deal with people and our environment. However you cannot deny the shadow side and the fact that we all have this.

I have met some people who radiate a true kindness and gentleness, that is really notable. I think these very gentle people are much of a rarity. There is a special quality about them, that I think is in their nature. I don't think this can be manufactured.

I think, however, that we need to be aware of the need for hypocrisy about 'goodness'. For example I have lived near a Spiritual Community, but I would not have brought myself to live within it. Why? Because there were too many people going around thinking that they had the answers, that they alone were good...as soon as they thought they had the answers they became impossible, narrow minded, self righteous and predictable. And truly impossible to be around

....Furthermore, in my mind the whole ethos of the place was suffocating. Everyone up their own arse too much with their own self knowledge...To be fair, there was also a huge amount of good and real, very real stuff going on in this place. With truly spiritual people as well..I'm just saying that a pinch of salt is needed in these things, to not get too stuffy. Implicit in the concept of 'goodness' is also the fact of 'badness'. If we deny the shadow we look down on the 'bad' then we've already lost the plot. The moment we think we're better or the ones that are 'good' and deny our shadow, it all becomes a shallow pretence.

I think it's exactly this exact understanding of the duality of human nature that makes those rare very gentle and kind types who they are, they are the one's who really 'get it' and therefore have it in them to always come from a place of love and understanding.
 
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Elis said:
Yeah, I agree with you. I think that being polite is preferable, but I think it's unreasonable to hold people to a standard of perfection. As I said, we all have bad days. It's great when you have the insight to realize when to step back, but I don't blame people who slip up once in a while. Try to be constructive about it instead, and try to talk things out later on.

Anyway, I'm rambling on. What do you think of what I said on political correctness?
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No one is being held to anything. However, I cannot equate snarkiness with kindness.

As for political correctness, here's a post of mine from years ago. (Interestingly, since then the alt-right has become an alternative to biggotry: an irreverence for political sensitivity; and Israel is now the bad-guy instead of the Palestinians).
https://www.infjs.com/threads/jews-gays-muslims-women-etc.17527/page-2#post-480388
 
@Flavus Aquila
I'm not saying that being snarky is the same as being kind, I'm saying that even despite being occasionally snarky you can still be a very kind person. But I digress.

I'd be interested to hear what you think of political correctness, not just what you said from 5 years ago, but what you think of the language we use these days. I'm sure you've said a lot of things on the forum, but I just don't keep up these days. What do you think of people using derogatory slang and the people taking offense in it?
 
Anyway, what I find interesting is how there is this view that we need to sharpen up, work for ourselves and not pamper to people with political correctness and what not. I don't necessarily disagree, I think it's important to be able to address, but I find it so interesting how the same people will so often be just as offended when you disagree with them or they get the same kind of crudeness back at them.

And no, it's not all political nonsense. And yes, it is really important to know that they're not always the same people - throwing shit, and then reacting badly when others respond the same way. I was just a bit curious where you stood in this question, but I guess I'm going on quite a tangent here. @Flavus Aquila
 
Elis said:
@Flavus Aquila
I'm not saying that being snarky is the same as being kind, I'm saying that even despite being occasionally snarky you can still be a very kind person. But I digress.

I'd be interested to hear what you think of political correctness, not just what you said from 5 years ago, but what you think of the language we use these days. I'm sure you've said a lot of things on the forum, but I just don't keep up these days. What do you think of people using derogatory slang and the people taking offense in it?
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https://www.infjs.com/threads/jews-gays-muslims-women-etc.17527/page-2#post-480388
That post+more in that thread say what I still think. I don't want to derail my own thread.
 
invisible said:
Yes, they exist, and they are rare. @Kgal and @Free are this type of person. Both have become this way through dedicated study. I'm certain that there are other people on this forum like this, and I hope that they will not be offended that I am not mentioning them because I am thinking of them right now (@hush @Wyote @Gale @Stu I'm looking at you...), but these are just two examples that really stand out for me as I am typing this.

(Haha.)

I try to be this type of person but it takes a lot of work and I'm not there yet. But I learn all the time.
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I feel completely undeserving and unworthy of this. I only hope that I will endeavor to earn this recognition. Dammit, who's chopping onions in here?

:m032: :hug:

As for the op... yes, these people do exist, many of them here on this forum. Although harder to find in rl, they exist nonetheless.
 
invisible said:
Yes, they exist, and they are rare. @Kgal and @Free are this type of person. Both have become this way through dedicated study. I'm certain that there are other people on this forum like this, and I hope that they will not be offended that I am not mentioning them because I am thinking of them right now (@hush @Wyote @Gale @Stu I'm looking at you...), but these are just two examples that really stand out for me as I am typing this.

(Haha.)

I try to be this type of person but it takes a lot of work and I'm not there yet. But I learn all the time.
Click to expand...

yeah @Gale and @Kgal are like the ultimate examples of this
 
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