to smile or not to smile? | INFJ Forum

to smile or not to smile?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by soulseeker, Jun 10, 2009.

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  1. soulseeker

    soulseeker Permanent Fixture

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    ehehehe

    so...

    there's this guy that smiles a lot at me and I MEAN A LOT!!!

    and for me.. it's okay if a guy or a girl smiles at me a LOT

    but he's CREEPY FOR ME:m044:

    like when he's talking to someone, he still looks at me and
    when he's with someone (not in a relationship) i mean like literally with someone, he stares at me and smiles even if I'M NOT LOOKING AT HIM...

    okay.. it's really weird..
    :m122:
    and i don't know if he just finds me funny or there's something funny about my face but IF AND ONLY IF he likes me... I don't really like him..

    and everytime I see him and when i'm with someone, :m077:he stands beside me or near me and then just stares
    and he waits for me to smile at him.......

    IT'S REALLY REALLY KIND OF WEIRD AND CREEPY........

    plus.....he's like MAYBE 20 PLUS OR 30 PLUS and i'm LIKE 16....:m162:..

    so it's really awkward REALLY:m130: AWKWARD..

    before i use to smile at him a LOT because i thought that he was just being friendly..but i sensed that there's something more than that (although i may have gotten that wrong)

    so.....:m054: should i smile at him like everytime? (i'm just thinking about it because maybe he sees it as like I LIKE HIM? BUT I DON'T...)

    or should i :m136:snob him (that's kind of rude.. i think?)

    so to smile or not to smile?
     
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  2. dneecey

    dneecey I am who I am.

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    Well if someone is making you uncomfortable by something that they are doing then you shouldn't encourage it just to try not to be rude. I'm a people person and for the most part I like everybody, but if I get a bad vibe from someone than I most certainly trust it. Especially if this guy is so much older than you sweetheart, this situation you've described to me makes me nervous because I'm very aware of sexual predators.

    When I was younger I was molested and growing up I had men who ogled me, tried to corner me, and even tried to pick me up when I was walking home from school alone. I lived in a really bad neighborhood and thankfully I was never kidnapped. But that's not to say it never happened to other people where I'm from.

    I don't mean to scare you, and I'm truly sorry if I am. But I would just say to please please be careful. I could be blowing this way out of proportion, but I would rather tell you to be careful than to try not to be rude and smile back, just from what I've been through. Also, try not to find yourself alone with this guy.

    If you choose to confront the situation and ask this person why he's always smiling at you, then please do so with one of you bigger male friends. Or possibly a big brother. Because if you have a big brother you could nip this situation in the bud right now and I would. I just worry about the age difference in you and this guy. If it were a young kid your age, I would say he might just be a bit awkward and likes you and I would say then to also confront him with a friend, and try to find out his agenda in a less rude way. Then you could just tell him you're not interested. But because he's older... well I feel like you have a right to worry. Especially if he's in his 30's like you said he might be.
     
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    #2 dneecey, Jun 10, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2009
  3. OP
    soulseeker

    soulseeker Permanent Fixture

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    thanks!!!!... yeah he's really creepy...FOR ME..
    i always see him when i go to this dance class..and he trains people there..

    i experience a LOT of these..with OLDER guys..and creeps me A LOT!!!
    i had this neighbor.. come up to me and greet me always (sounds normal) but he has this disorder thing and it's really scary if they're NOT like my age...

    i'm almost ALWAYS creeped out like this by OLDER :m169: guys..... and I WANT AN OLDER BROTHER..but i don't have,...:m142:

    REALLY THANKS FOR THE CONCERN!!!!! REALLY REALLY :m107::m107::m107:
     
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  4. Koba

    Koba Community Member

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    Wow, sometimes I'm glad I'm not a woman.
     
  5. AUM

    AUM The Romantic Scientist

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    I second that.

    But I agree Soulseeker, you should becareful. You never know with what kind of creeps you encounter. Take care ok.
     
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  6. J. Cardigan

    J. Cardigan Community Member

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    I do this to creep out my coworkers, but I'm not sexually interested in any of them, seeing as they're mostly guys.

    It sounds like he's really a creep, though. If he's that much older and you smile back he may get the wrong impression. Does he have a molestache? If so, alert Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC.
     
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  7. OP
    soulseeker

    soulseeker Permanent Fixture

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    ahahahha i don't want to be one.. most of the times :m107:

    and no.. he doesn't have a :m155: mustache *what's a molestache?(can't find a picture of a monkey with a mustache)

    yeah I know..
    if i smile, :m057: he MIGHT think i like him and I don't want him to think that because I REALLY DON'T...

    but then if I don't :m051: smile..he might get mad..or hurt..or angry...... :m043:i want to run!!!!!!!!!
     
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  8. Duty

    Duty Permanent Fixture

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    I don't think the question is "to smile or not to smile," but instead, "to smite or not to smite."
     
  9. WickedPod

    WickedPod Community Member

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    At the risk of seeming rude or getting the guy to think you're a witch, I think you need to stop reciprocating. I've been sexually harrassed by much older men at my jobs, as well as men my age. I've a very nice person and try my best to never be rude to others. However, at some point you kinda' have to be to get them to stop. It sucks and you'll feel guilty afterward, but it's in your best interest. I've had an older guy at work constantly tell me I'm sexy and asking me to back up or turn around for him so he can see me from all angles (I was 19 at time and he was in his 50s). I've had a guy stand outside my cube and stare at me for minutes at a time without saying a word (I had a small rear-view mirror thing on my monitor, so I could see him without him knowing). I was always nice to him, even though he creeped me out. One day, I found him following me home to my apartment. I lived in the complex to where you must take a very circuitous route and he followed me every step of the way...tailed me, like they do in the movies when they're following someone but not wanting to be noticed. With that said, I immediately stopped smiling and saying "hi". It caused him to confront me, but I responded by saying "I saw you. I know you were there. Don't ever talk to me again." After that, I never saw him follow me or stare at me again.

    With that said, you need to be very careful about this guy. He could be following you, too. Be on alert at all times and always be aware of your surroundings. Had I not noticed that guy following me, Lord knows what could have happened. I kept driving and left the complex so as not to let him know which on I live in. He could have hurt me. He could have turned into a peeping tom. Whatever. Please, be careful and do not smile back at this guy. Even more, you may want to kinda' give him a look once or twice when he's staring at you to let him know that you're not OK with him doing that.
     
  10. Koba

    Koba Community Member

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    Seriously, this is for his own good as much as yours. Don't worry about making him feel bad. If you really feel threatened about how he might act if you upset him, then seek help from someone in the same environment as you, preferably someone with authority. If that ends up being unnecessary, hopefully he'll learn something from about how to behave towards people, and if it is necessary, you'll be glad you did get that help.
     
  11. Creon

    Creon Community Member

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    Forget about smiling and call the police.
     
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  12. OP
    soulseeker

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    wow!!! that's good HE DIDN'T HURT YOU!!!!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE:m031: KILLED HIM!!!!

    why are they like that!?!?:m077:! that's just UNFAIR

    yesterday.... when i was standing in the dance studio,
    he passed by and pinched me......
    :m136:
    after he pinched me, he walked away without looking at me

    but then when i was about to go to the other room, he smiled at me

    I DIDN'T:m056: REACT..... I DIDN'T SMILE BACK AT HIM WHEN HE SMILED AT ME.....

    I DON'T REALLY KNOW...MAYBE HE JUST SEES ME AS A SMALL SISTER? :m119:OR SOMETHING?.....

    he doesn't SEEM bad...but I DON'T KNOW.....

    before i used to smile at him a LOT because i thought he was just being friendly..a

    and one time....he was teaching a group of people then they were dancing
    so he was SUPPOSED TO WATCH THEM DOING THE STEPS

    but instead,

    he was staring at me and smiling while staring.....(i'm not even looking at him).. :mcute: i just knew he was smiling and staring because i caught a glimpse at him...(and he does this almost all the time)

    maybe he's just being kind or what!?!?:m033: i don't know.....

    but now., i don't even look at him that much.......
     
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  13. chaotic_lion

    chaotic_lion Community Member

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    RUN!!!! NOW!!!! Older guys in my family don't even pinch me! Alert your family because you're not safe. You could be putting them in danger, too. Please.
     
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  14. OP
    soulseeker

    soulseeker Permanent Fixture

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    how would i run!?!?..... ahhhhh i'm confused and scared..i'm scared
    scared
    scared:m196:
    really scared...

    i've told my close friend and my older relative..

    but then i still go to that dance studio.....i can't just transfer
    but my older relative told me to always protect myself
    :m044:
    and not go anywhere near him when i'm alone.....(i will be staying there till may be october or november..but i will be going there like maybe once or twice a week only because i have to study a lot..unlike this summer..i go there 4 times a week.. )

    if i tell my parents, they wouldn't make me dance there anymore.... :m142:

    my dad pinches me...... but NEVER ANY RELATIVES OTHER THAN MY DAD

    okay....that's creeping me out like TOTALLY!!!!!! :m104:
     
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  15. Puck

    Puck Perilous Pixie
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    ...or smile back, in a sinister way, while opening and closing your penknife.
     
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  16. just me

    just me GONE

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    Please be both careful and cautious. Do not feed him.
     
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  17. OP
    soulseeker

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    maybe i'll try not to smile at him.....

    what if i pretended to be busy dancing or whatever like talking to someone

    then i would pretend that i'm too busy to see him or i didn't notice him

    then i wouln't HAVE to smile at him!!!!!

    i just hope that he finds someone to be with and be happy with someone so he wouldn't just creep out other people as well (IF and only IF he has other intentions besides being friendly)
     
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  18. pogo_<3

    pogo_<3 Community Member

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    If he's smiling thatmuch, I think his intentions are pretty clear. He is a creeper--->>STAY AWAY as much as possible. If you're alone and you see someon who even MIGHT be him, turn around and run the other way. That is freaky. Don't trust him, and be careful.

    After time, people start to become attracted to people that they are in constant contact with, so while he may have used to be a nice, normal guy, I think his preference's have been slightly altered from his age, to 16. That's creepy...
     
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  19. chaotic_lion

    chaotic_lion Community Member

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    You might want to warn the other dancers.
     
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