Time for the obvious | INFJ Forum

Time for the obvious

Dec 8, 2016
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MBTI
INTP
A new INTP on an INFJ site because he knows an INFJ that is confusing him...Imagine that. I'm not even sure where to start but I will start with the thing that is totally creating all sorts of confusion for me. I am a very non demonstrative person emotionally. I don't even think I cried when my parents died (not that I didn't feel it deeply). Well anyway, this INFJ will start talking about things and the way she describes them is so beautiful I literally start to get tears in my eyes and I'm like... WTF! When I am around her I'm literally the happiest I've ever been in my whole life and I'm not even sure why. I keep asking myself .... Do you feel that way because your needy and she gives you attention? Is she resolving or touching some childhood trauma? Are you attracted to her and it's really a physical thing? Yes to all of the above but that's not really it.
She has often said that she thinks we are the same person (does that mean anything INFJ's?). I have this ability to look really deep inside her (everybody actually) and when I look inside of her I just see her how she really is and the only word that comes to mind is beautiful. Basically I see people and the world as crap. The world is NAZI Germany and terrorists. It's people parking in the handicapped spot and leaving their dog in the car in the summer. It's people just plain sucking. Then I look at her and she is so kind to me and so understanding (at times it is eerie... but I like it :smiley:). She sees the world as it should be or could be and I am mesmerized. She like totally inspires me to be the best I can be, not to please her but because I know she's right and I keep growing as a person (self actualizing?). I never want to be less than how she sees me. I just...I don't know. There is so much more than this that I would like to explore in another thread because it's way more complicated than this. But, basically, I don't want to handle this incorrectly because my world is way better with her in it and I want her in it (even though she probably shouldn't be in it). I would like the INFJ people here to help me because I am clueless. So my first question would be "What the hell is she doing to me"? because all my defenses are failing me, my emotions are overwhelming my logic and I'm starting to get reckless.
 
What you described sounded great. Why analyse it, it sounds fantastic. Is your version of getting reckless getting lost in feelings? I didn't see any description of reckless in what you said so it's hard to know what you mean. Most people would kill to find that kind of connection with someone, I would just enjoy it- analyse too much and you could ruin what cannot be explained.
 
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So my first question would be "What the hell is she doing to me"? because all my defenses are failing me, my emotions are overwhelming my logic and I'm starting to get reckless.
Hmm... ok, picture this: You're a mouse in a vast maze, ever searching for your piece of cheese. Finally you're victorious! What is that cheese to you? Sustenance? Joy? A consolation prize?

Or just make it simple and admit to yourself that you've fallen for her. :p
 
Hmm... ok, picture this: You're a mouse in a vast maze, ever searching for your piece of cheese. Finally you're victorious! What is that cheese to you? Sustenance? Joy? A consolation prize?

Or just make it simple and admit to yourself that you've fallen for her. :p

Your description is very eloquent and very accurate. But I already know that in some way ( a huge way) I have fallen for her. In different circumstances I wouldn't even hesitate to pursue her but I am in the midst of an existentialist crisis and what I feel about her is part of the crisis. I know that is very vague but I'm working on the best way to express it.
 
Before I explain the existentialist crisis let me give out some info on prior communication with this INFJ female. She has told me that she has "never had passionate sex". She talks about becoming more and more reclusive and frequently shares how isolated she feels. She talks about her poor relationship with her parents and way more than that. She will initiate conversation with me and talk for long periods of time while I listen to her. She will even send me occasional texts to support or encourage me. If I am understanding INFJ's correctly then she really trusts me. Am I correct? FYI....All these statements are coming from a very well defined acquaintance (wouldn't even classify it as friends) zone. I'm just not sure that's totally where she is with me. The issue that I have is people always drop their emotional crap on me so I'm like "they're just venting", but it always feels different when it comes from her ( maybe I just want it to be different). If I am understanding correctly, for an INFJ, this is not just venting. It feels like connecting maybe even bonding. From an INFJ perspective am I correct?
 
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