Out of my funk and into the blue.
I'm beginning to give credence to the emotional waves that come with knowing HDS and how my body works to collect and expend energy. Diet, or lack of, has much to do with fueling that energy.
One of the difficulties of being a cerebral Manifestor in HD is in finding the physical strengths to get up and get moving. With an open root and sacral center, (the centers that "run" a Generator type), it's difficult to keep up. And still yet, difficult to explain to others who jump in the day. Generator's keep the wheels of mankind humming, they should let us idea monkeys move at our own pace without expectation of keeping up.
Isn't one of the primary functions of higher learning, fleshing out the answers to our questions, and researching ideas and theories the why of why we are here? and then putting the snippets and tidbits to work in our own lives?
No disrespect to myself or anyone else...I'm not antisocial, yet, I find the older and wiser I get I am very much anti Western society. I am still learning about Eastern society, but I'd wager I don't conform to much of it either. ;P
I follow the rules much of the time. More like I use societal rules as a guide to not break the law, but I don't agree with the limitations higher ups put on us because of them. ...see, 'higher ups', a term that puts a label on us and causes some of us to feel less than, even worthless some how because we don't run for office and join the decision making squad. The decision makers forget we serfs vote for them with the trust that they will carry our ideas and ideals into the great hall so we may continue to move about freely through life acting out our purpose ... yeah shit2, lol.
I can't even get these assclowns at home to follow directions to help create an atmosphere of freedom and independence.
For example of how my younger sister creates more work for me rather than less. She can't follow simple directions, even when written out like she asks. I couldn't find my hair towels. I have smaller, thin towels for hair and thick big towels to buff a butt...well, she took off all the doily and dresser scarves around the house and replaced them with my hair towels. These are towels that when the step-sis cleared out her mother's
shit stuff she took all but 4 towels so I put my towels in the closet from my home I moved here from in 2014.
The last executive decision my younger sis made I pulled her aside and told her calmly and kindly to stop rearranging my home, explaining to her that I find it very disrespectful and I would not do this to her home. She chucks stuff in trash and recycling without asking, rearranged all my cupboards so she can reach, she's 4 foot 5 inches ... get the fekkin steps stool I told her!
Now she's unavailable because she has to move. The place she is renting was sold and her landlord said 30 days. She's livid but hasn't paid rent in 5 years! I asked her to let me know if she needed help,
and IF I was able I would, lol that's the part others do not hear or tend to overlook. I also told her they are not living here. Period. She can't seem to adhere to the home structure as is ... could I fekkin imagine them living in the house...oh fukkin right I can. A big fat NO to that. However, I'll help out if needed because she's been helping me here...har, har, har ...
Anyhoo, the elder sister is doing well. Eating and drinking thickened liquids. My neice and her had KFC for dinner last night. Today the sis gets moved back to the nursing home. She's able to transfer from bed to wheelchair with help. Her blood work shows no gangrene or other infections currently. Her blood pressure is high but stable. Yay!
All involved except her says I shook her up deeply. I said yep, she thinks if she gets her strength back she's going to whoop my ass.
Mean sister thinking. What she is really pussed about is my response...notice I didn't say reaction...to the constant histrionic phone calls and texts that she 'gonna die' ... welp...my give a damn busted and I ran straight out of patience, pride, and prejudice. She started that bs on Saturday when I got to the hospital and I responded by asking her for the pillow behind her head. She asked what, so I repeated it. When she asked me why I responded that I didn't come all that way to play referee nor listen to some poor me sob story of which I had no energy for...repeated hand me the fekkin pillow and I'll make it short and sweet ... bluffed! lmao
Got her attention though, and by end of day her whole attitude changed.
Some times we have to speak to someone in their own language so there is no mistaking what is said.
Today is national donut day here?!? yummy
Four crispy biscuit halves smothered in sausage gravy with a patty on top and a side of sausage...I was saying yum as my arteries said oh no not again, lol
