As per the book mentioned in the first video:
Robert Bly’s Iron John (1990) is both an in-depth analysis of the Brothers Grimm fairy tale “Iron John” (or “Iron Hans”) and a powerful manifesto advocating for a richer, more passionate masculinity—a response to the emotional voids experienced by men in contemporary culture.
Bly frames the fairy tale as a template for male initiation. In the story, a young prince steals the key from beneath his mother’s pillow to release the caged, elusive Wild Man—Iron John—who becomes his teacher and guide. For Bly, this act symbolizes the essential psychological separation from the maternal world that allows a boy to reclaim his “deep masculine” identity and embark on the transformative journey into mature manhood
Bly weaves Jungian psychology, myth, poetry, anthropology, and personal narrative into an eight-stage roadmap of masculine development—with archetypes such as the Wild Man, the King, the Warrior, the Lover, the Trickster, the Grief Man, and the Mythologist or Magician. Central to this journey are confronting grief and the shadow—the inner wounds and suppressed emotions—and receiving mentorship, modeled by Iron John, to guide through periods of trial and inner chaos.
Modern Western society, argues Bly, has stripped men of these symbolic initiations, leaving a generation of “soft males” overly compliant and disconnected from tradition's stronger, more grounded manhood—the “Fifties man” who valued toughness and emotional restraint—without offering a balanced alternative. Bly proposes a “third mode”—an integrated masculinity that allows both tenderness and wildness, strength and emotional wisdom.
The book also emphasizes the role of myth and ritual as emotional medicine. By engaging with archetypal stories, Bly believes men can rediscover their authentic selves, reconnect with feeling, and learn to bear grief and responsibility with strength and dignity.
Although highly influential—spending 62 weeks on the New York Times Best Seller list and serving as a cornerstone of the mythopoetic men’s movement—Iron John has attracted criticism. Some reviewers argue Bly oversimplifies complex cultural issues or romanticizes mythical rites with little practical grounding in modern life. Others observe that, while Iron John helped many reconnect with depth and emotional resonance, its model of re-wilding masculinity may feel dated or exclusionary as perspectives on gender evolve.
In short: Iron John uses the metaphor-rich tale of the Wild Man to diagnose modern male disconnection and chart a path toward emotional depth, maturity, and psychological wholeness—by integrating archetypes, mentoring, grief, and mythic journey into the fabric of contemporary manhood.