I was wondering what do you guys think about the T in other NT's? This might be me personally, but I'm a pretty sensitive, socially adjusted INTP, but I can still be pretty tactless, overly direct, or harsh at any given moment. I mentioned earlier in a post that I was an in a relationship with an INTJ that went sour, and looking back I feel like mainly my T was the problem. I kinda always wants to talk about ideas, I didn't really pay attention to how she felt enough, I was rude from time to time (just really objective T thoughts). It's kinda wierd that an NF could ever be interested in NT if feelings are your forte. Can you fill me in on this? And possibly give me some tips on not letting my T get in the way of good NF friendships and relationhips?
The 'T' in NT
- Thread starter Calvin222
- Start date
- Nov 12, 2008
- 14,153
- 1,334
- 0
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 1w2 sx/so/sp
I'm not "facinated" with T's, but I am invariably drawn to them. They have an objective view of the world and tend to quench my F tendancies, which eventually makes me feel better. It's more about balence really.
A big tip, if you think you are being too harsh, tactless, or rude, then you very likely are. You sound like your threshold is much higher then F's and as such if you begin to realise you are being too harsh, we felt it long ago. Take an F's feelings into concideration, and don't always try to pick everything apart; not everything, can, or needs to be broken down and analyzed.
A big tip, if you think you are being too harsh, tactless, or rude, then you very likely are. You sound like your threshold is much higher then F's and as such if you begin to realise you are being too harsh, we felt it long ago. Take an F's feelings into concideration, and don't always try to pick everything apart; not everything, can, or needs to be broken down and analyzed.
I disagree. I must have more mental masturbation.
My twin brother is an INTP, and he doesn't make fun of me; he knows I can't dish it out or handle it (I think). Although, we do do (hehe) some things, like "fuck you" fights, which consist of saying "fuck you" repeatedly. Though, these things are more like mannerisms and are also hilarious. We're both in college, and we talk about our classes a lot, and those conversations turn into mutual mental masturbation.
I think that he has learned how to say things so that they're acceptable.
As a computer science major, I'm around a lot of NTs, and they're all considerate. The xNTJ's are really friendly, too, at least now that the ones I know are sophomores. I used to have problems with a few of them in high school, but then I had problems with everyone in high school.
In fact, the only ones I have problems with are the ST's and a certain INFP who is more blunt than the ISTP.
Also, if we are part of a large group, then the NT's may start acting inconsiderate. In small groups, everything's fine.
NT's really aren't that bad. They have a fresh prospective on things, and that's refreshing, and I can trust that an NT will keep their head more than me in an emotional situation. That's nice.
The only problem is if a T person does not actively use their F function...it becomes difficult to really maintain social systems if the feeling function is dead. This can be helped by thinking something like, "How will this effect another person's feelings? Could this upset someone?" Don't just think of the outcome of the action, but think of how emotions come into play.
The only problem is if a T person does not actively use their F function...it becomes difficult to really maintain social systems if the feeling function is dead. This can be helped by thinking something like, "How will this effect another person's feelings? Could this upset someone?" Don't just think of the outcome of the action, but think of how emotions come into play.
Last edited:
As an INFJ married for 18 years to an INTJ, I'm pretty well-versed in the workings of the NT mind (add the "J" and you've got yourself a perfect nightmare--at times--for someone sensitive like me). I think what draws the NF to the NT, however, IS that shared ability to step back and analyze the world (and people) from a distance, in a way that other types don't really get. (In fact, most of the typology books will say that NTs and NFs are a natural fit). I fell for my husband because of our great analytical conversations . . . a spiritual meeting of the minds, so to speak, and we continue to work on bridging the emotional chasm. It can be a challenge, but don't give up on relationships with NFs. It will ultimately pay off in growth for both of you. Pay attention to body language (the NF will often respond with movement or expression before the mind can even identify the feeling), and don't hesitate to ask questions if you're not sure if you've said something that was misunderstood. INFJs, especially, don't readily share negative feelings, and are much more likely to abruptly end a relationship (an early one, that is) than sort through a bunch of complex feelings with someone that seems unlikely to understand their depth.
That's what it was like for us, we both couldn't believe we met someone as weird as ourselves! I think I thought she was so much like me I just related as a T 95% of the time (this was before I knew about type).