So how do you experience love, being in love and leaving love, what is it like?
I experience love as this profound sense that I just want to do things to make them happy, I like to surprise them, I like to give gifts, I love to touch them and hold hands, I love to talk with them- I just want to engage on a full and meaningful level. I want to be there for them as much as I can. Although I've learned the hard way, that I can't be so selfless in love, and that I need to love myself, and take care of myself first, before I can love the other person.
Leaving love is devastating, I will try my hardest to make things work, and if I recognize they cannot work, then I will make up my mind, and as much as it hurts my heart I will move on, and try to recover the best I can. Sometimes its okay to be sad, and heartbreak takes time to heal- but in the end I will be grateful for my experiences.
Do you feel your depth of love and commitment is met in others? '
I will only be in a relationship with someone I trust, and in which there is mutuality in love. I have been in relationships where I knew I loved the other person more, and that is the most horrible thing- because I always sought their approval instead of knowing my worth.
Do you see the potential for a loving relationship in a person quickly?
Sometimes you just know, but sometimes chemistry/lust/wishful-thinking can cloud your judgment. In some cases I've had dreams that revealed the extent to which the relationship could progress. I had one dream with a suitor where we both hugged each other and said, "I like you" and I knew that we liked each other, but we were not able to form a more serious connection. With another suitor, the first night I spend the night at his house, in my dream we told each other, "I love you," and I felt like that was a sign we could form a much deeper bond.
Do you often fall in love?? Or almost never??
I have had lots of crushes, but when I fall in love, it is a much rarer thing. Falling in love involves so much, partially it is out of one's hands- you can't help who you love, but on the other hand it is a choice.
Do you date a lot? Or little??
I've dated a decent amount, and I enjoy that, and the choice, but ultimately, I prefer to be monogamous and am more relationship oriented.
Do you tend to know and decide at first dates, rather than a second??
Yes, I know on first dates how far things can progress, and how interested I am.
What are your relationships like??
I've only been in one serious relationship, and had a number of flings, and the relationship was not one of mutuality, so I don't want to just talk about past experiences exclusively. In the main relationship- we were best friends, in the sense that we were very close to each other intellectually, and would have long conversations- although not the emotional connection I would like. In other relationships since then, I prefer to engage in activities, have a group of close friends we can share together, and generally be each others comrades and partners in crime.
