The Frustration of Inconsistency | INFJ Forum

The Frustration of Inconsistency

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by blueflame, Jun 8, 2009.

Share This Page

More threads by blueflame
  1. blueflame

    blueflame Regular Poster

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Threads:
    23
    Messages:
    119
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Based on Darkstar's quote:
    It's especially frustrating when a [person] says all the characteristics they want in [someone] to you, but NOT you.

    It'd be like telling someone in an interview that they were fully qualified, but they just don't feel you would be suited, without giving you a reason.




    This reminded me to start this thread. Why do people say they want one thing and always perceivingly pursue something else?
    Based on My Judgement I'd say:
    1. Lazy
    2. Lack of common sense (not lack of intellegence)
    3. Not actually wanting the things they say they want
    or
    Based on My Practical Reasoning I'd say:
    1. Not Ready yet
    2. Fear
    3. Simply being responsible:Gaining Experience first, live a little, do some self discovery
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #1 blueflame, Jun 8, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2009
  2. Eniko

    Eniko May snark if provoked
    Donor

    Joined:
    May 13, 2009
    Threads:
    32
    Messages:
    539
    Likes Received:
    51
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Most people I've found never put a great deal of thought into who they are, what they want and need (two separate things which they often mix up too) and where they're going. I think it's a sign of lack of self knowledge when someone says they want one thing and wind up going for something fundamentally different.

    Add on top of that that emotions are tricky and what we consciously want can do nothing for us, and what we don't want can resonate with us and you have a pretty bad mix.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #2 Eniko, Jun 8, 2009
  3. sedna

    sedna Community Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2009
    Threads:
    6
    Messages:
    135
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    infj
    I find most people painfully unaware of self, their true needs & desires. So when people actually concretize their desires, I'm off...often reading between the lines...

    There's a whole lot of inconsistency between what people say they want and what they actually go for. If this is the case, you must let them go, because they will only make you crazy.
     
    #3 sedna, Jun 8, 2009
  4. Faye

    Faye ^_^
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2009
    Threads:
    313
    Messages:
    7,342
    Featured Threads:
    5
    Likes Received:
    5,045
    Trophy Points:
    892
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Gridania
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    I don't think I've ever really had this happen. I can only think of one girl who told me what she wanted in a relationship and I knew she didn't want me, but I really don't want her either, so I don't care. It would be very annoying if it was a girl I like though.
     
    #4 Faye, Jun 8, 2009
  5. OP
    blueflame

    blueflame Regular Poster

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Threads:
    23
    Messages:
    119
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Seems like all I can do considering I've been waiting patiently, but interestingly enough I also notice another problem, they like people who don't seem to treat them right, not physically abusive, but take more than they give, repeatedly doing things which they have been asked not to, and of course infidelity. The worse part is they are always defended not matter what they do.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #5 blueflame, Jun 9, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2009
  6. slant

    slant Anti gum-putter
    Donor

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2008
    Threads:
    384
    Messages:
    12,865
    Featured Threads:
    66
    Likes Received:
    29,515
    Trophy Points:
    1,901
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    None
    Some people just change their minds. And there is no such thing as self discovered, everyone is random and scattered. How do you expect to understand yourself when you don't understand the impact of REM on human life?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #6 slant, Jun 9, 2009
Loading...
Similar Threads - Frustration Inconsistency
  1. Rosenrot

    frustration with people I am close to.

    Rosenrot, Nov 20, 2008, in forum: Relationships and Sociology
    Replies:
    4
    Views:
    2,124
    GargoylesLegacy
    Dec 1, 2008

Share This Page