The Frustration of Inconsistency | INFJ Forum

The Frustration of Inconsistency

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by blueflame, Jun 8, 2009.

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  1. blueflame

    blueflame Regular Poster

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    Based on Darkstar's quote:
    It's especially frustrating when a [person] says all the characteristics they want in [someone] to you, but NOT you.

    It'd be like telling someone in an interview that they were fully qualified, but they just don't feel you would be suited, without giving you a reason.




    This reminded me to start this thread. Why do people say they want one thing and always perceivingly pursue something else?
    Based on My Judgement I'd say:
    1. Lazy
    2. Lack of common sense (not lack of intellegence)
    3. Not actually wanting the things they say they want
    or
    Based on My Practical Reasoning I'd say:
    1. Not Ready yet
    2. Fear
    3. Simply being responsible:Gaining Experience first, live a little, do some self discovery
     
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    #1 blueflame, Jun 8, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2009
  2. Eniko

    Eniko May snark if provoked
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    Most people I've found never put a great deal of thought into who they are, what they want and need (two separate things which they often mix up too) and where they're going. I think it's a sign of lack of self knowledge when someone says they want one thing and wind up going for something fundamentally different.

    Add on top of that that emotions are tricky and what we consciously want can do nothing for us, and what we don't want can resonate with us and you have a pretty bad mix.
     
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    #2 Eniko, Jun 8, 2009
  3. sedna

    sedna Community Member

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    I find most people painfully unaware of self, their true needs & desires. So when people actually concretize their desires, I'm off...often reading between the lines...

    There's a whole lot of inconsistency between what people say they want and what they actually go for. If this is the case, you must let them go, because they will only make you crazy.
     
    #3 sedna, Jun 8, 2009
  4. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    I don't think I've ever really had this happen. I can only think of one girl who told me what she wanted in a relationship and I knew she didn't want me, but I really don't want her either, so I don't care. It would be very annoying if it was a girl I like though.
     
    #4 Faye, Jun 8, 2009
  5. OP
    blueflame

    blueflame Regular Poster

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    Seems like all I can do considering I've been waiting patiently, but interestingly enough I also notice another problem, they like people who don't seem to treat them right, not physically abusive, but take more than they give, repeatedly doing things which they have been asked not to, and of course infidelity. The worse part is they are always defended not matter what they do.
     
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    #5 blueflame, Jun 9, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2009
  6. slant

    slant Roll with the punches
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    Some people just change their minds. And there is no such thing as self discovered, everyone is random and scattered. How do you expect to understand yourself when you don't understand the impact of REM on human life?
     
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    #6 slant, Jun 9, 2009
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