Taking in unnecessary responsibility | INFJ Forum

Taking in unnecessary responsibility


The Romantic Scientist
Feb 8, 2009
I feel that everytime I'm in a social setting by either being with a group of friends or strangers I put in the father figure role. I have the feeling that I'm in charge over other people's feelings and beliefs over others who may threaten their character. When I know there's going to be an argument I try everything in my power to mitigate the other parties temper and make them realize that it shouldn't get heated up and most of the times they are ok with that. However it seems that I don't enjoy myself at all when I go to a party or a meeting because I feel so in charged of the situation that I have no time to have fun. I try to have fun but at the end my own self goes back to that habit.

Does anybody else felt this way? am I going mental? lol
I have limited experience with this. I co-founded a reasonably well travelled IRC channel and I sometimes had to do this, but I only crawled out of the shadows and put on my nanny hat if shit really hit the fan. That way when I did speak people would generally listen.

Either way if it's not making you happy then you should just stop. It is not your duty to babysit the way other people feel and keep the peace. Just let them go at it, it's not your problem.
I learned this the hard way, to just let people do whatever they wanted to do because it isn't worth being increasingly frustrated over something that doesn't pertain to you. Let others come to you instead.
I do it too. Mostly because my ego is very large, and I take responsibility for my secondary locus of control as well.
If I am a group of people and drama is about to go down, I leave. I can't stand that crap, and I don't want to become the lightning rod for trying to break everyone up. I've broken up fights before and had positions where I had to mitigate this kind of fighting, but for the most part I hate it and I want to avoid it. I usually don't know how to make people stop fighting except by screaming at them because if it is a fist fight then what else can I do, and if it is an argument I usually get lashed at and take it very personally, which I don't handle well.

No, I don't feel responsible for other people's emotions. If they want to hate each other and fight over something stupid, that is their problem.