Empathy and the application via doing unto others as you would for yourself
Success is someone in a suit
- Thread starter Gaze
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Maybe this is a bit off topic but one day, my grandmother (who is the closest 'thing' I have from what people call "family") said to someone, in front of me: "Marnie could have succeeded her life. She is smart and I think she was made to do good. But some of her decisions weren't the good ones"
I cried for hours and hours the night that followed.
Why did she say such a thing? Apparently because at that time, I was 22 years old, I was working in a supermarket, cleaning the floor and the public toilets. The truth is I accepted whatever job at that time of my life because I was actually gathering money to start studying what I always wanted to study.
Nowadays, I am in the final years of my Master degree and I am working in a hospital, wearing a white coat everyday. Does that make me a more successful person than I was when I was 22? According to the point of view of my grandmother, yes, it does. And I hate this vision of things. Of course, everything depends on the definition you give to "success", as it's been said before... But a successful person should be a person who is actually doing what he or she has always wanted to do... And if that is to wear an expensive suit to go to work, so be it.
I cried for hours and hours the night that followed.
Why did she say such a thing? Apparently because at that time, I was 22 years old, I was working in a supermarket, cleaning the floor and the public toilets. The truth is I accepted whatever job at that time of my life because I was actually gathering money to start studying what I always wanted to study.
Nowadays, I am in the final years of my Master degree and I am working in a hospital, wearing a white coat everyday. Does that make me a more successful person than I was when I was 22? According to the point of view of my grandmother, yes, it does. And I hate this vision of things. Of course, everything depends on the definition you give to "success", as it's been said before... But a successful person should be a person who is actually doing what he or she has always wanted to do... And if that is to wear an expensive suit to go to work, so be it.
- Aug 21, 2015
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- Aug 21, 2015
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good point --
would you let someone in a suit take your blood or operate? perform dental work? lil creepy
Success then, is someone in appropriate attire for the task at hand?
(says I, joyfully wearing jeans to work on casual Friday)
would that scrubs were just universal to all vocational pursuits.
Yay scrubs =)
Success is, doing something that you want to do, how you want to do it.
Agreed about the world perception of success and the correlation to a fine tailored suit being the look of it. It's a sex symbol, and obviously the symbol of "wealth" and "status", yada yada yada ya.
There is a lot of pressure on guys to have "the look". It's not for me. It makes women swoon, sure. But I'll never wear one to impress a woman. It's fake, it's pretentious. No thanks.
There is a lot of pressure on guys to have "the look". It's not for me. It makes women swoon, sure. But I'll never wear one to impress a woman. It's fake, it's pretentious. No thanks.
- Dec 29, 2009
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My ex has a "top level" job. She worked from home today, managing a top level conference call. This saves the business a lot of money, and is in no way is a pile of crap, to let egotistical morons wear pajamas, stay home, and get paid more to do nothing. The following transcript is totally imagined. It's fictional. It bears no comparison to reality.
Ex: ok I'm beginning this conference call as in the most important person here. I'm actually the most important person in the world. You're only here to listen, agree and tell me things I want to hear. Also laugh at any joke I tell. I'll now do a roll call of who's here, like I'm a teacher and you're all 5 years old. Does everyone agree ?
Anon: Can I just ask one relevant question first ?
Ex: No, absolutely not. I'll email you later you .... Shut up now or I'll humiliate you in front of everyone. Ok ? (Small laugh). Ok then I win. (Roll call continues).
Ex: ok we need to discuss crucial issue, X does everyone understand. This is a high level risk. A major risk. The risk is real. I've got a risk register. The register measures risk. I like to say "risk" a lot. Then I say I'm a risk taker. This underlines how brave and important I am. Later I'll ask for feedback and you all better acknowledge this, or there will be problems. Do you understand ? (Murmurs of agreement).
Ex: I've done all the talking so far, but I'm very comfortable with that. Does anyone else dare speak?
Anon: hi I'd like to ask about the X issue, as that's what we are meant to discuss ?
Ex: bitter laugh. I'll email you later you idiot. You're finished. Clear out your desk.
Ex: I think this is great, a really great meeting, of course it is. I organized it. I led it all, it's achieved all of its goals. Does anyone want to help their career by agreeing ?
Bob: hi I'm Bob. I also have a gigantic ego. I want to talk about risk. I like risk, but I'm not allowed to play Xbox after 9pm. My wife says that's my bedtime.
Ex: that's great Bob, but I'm cutting you off as it's not about me.
Anon woman: I'd like to say something about the X issue. Why don't we liaise with Y group as they have the stats and dealt with this before ?
Ex: wow that's a good idea. I've written that down. Now it's my idea. It belongs to me bitch. How old are you ? You better be older than me. Are you trying to take over? I'll email you later. You're finished. Ha ha ha. Everyone laugh. (Murmurs of laughter). I'm very threatened by other women, if there are other women on this call, they need to hang up right now. I mean it.
Ex: ok I think we can wrap up early as I'm bored, and I need to phone a lot of people and tell them how crap you all are. Does any one have any questions ? If you say yes you can stay behind and I'll let you know what a mistake that was.
(Murmurs of agreement)
Meeting ends.
I can pretty much guarantee that these people all wear suits when they meet up.
Ex: ok I'm beginning this conference call as in the most important person here. I'm actually the most important person in the world. You're only here to listen, agree and tell me things I want to hear. Also laugh at any joke I tell. I'll now do a roll call of who's here, like I'm a teacher and you're all 5 years old. Does everyone agree ?
Anon: Can I just ask one relevant question first ?
Ex: No, absolutely not. I'll email you later you .... Shut up now or I'll humiliate you in front of everyone. Ok ? (Small laugh). Ok then I win. (Roll call continues).
Ex: ok we need to discuss crucial issue, X does everyone understand. This is a high level risk. A major risk. The risk is real. I've got a risk register. The register measures risk. I like to say "risk" a lot. Then I say I'm a risk taker. This underlines how brave and important I am. Later I'll ask for feedback and you all better acknowledge this, or there will be problems. Do you understand ? (Murmurs of agreement).
Ex: I've done all the talking so far, but I'm very comfortable with that. Does anyone else dare speak?
Anon: hi I'd like to ask about the X issue, as that's what we are meant to discuss ?
Ex: bitter laugh. I'll email you later you idiot. You're finished. Clear out your desk.
Ex: I think this is great, a really great meeting, of course it is. I organized it. I led it all, it's achieved all of its goals. Does anyone want to help their career by agreeing ?
Bob: hi I'm Bob. I also have a gigantic ego. I want to talk about risk. I like risk, but I'm not allowed to play Xbox after 9pm. My wife says that's my bedtime.
Ex: that's great Bob, but I'm cutting you off as it's not about me.
Anon woman: I'd like to say something about the X issue. Why don't we liaise with Y group as they have the stats and dealt with this before ?
Ex: wow that's a good idea. I've written that down. Now it's my idea. It belongs to me bitch. How old are you ? You better be older than me. Are you trying to take over? I'll email you later. You're finished. Ha ha ha. Everyone laugh. (Murmurs of laughter). I'm very threatened by other women, if there are other women on this call, they need to hang up right now. I mean it.
Ex: ok I think we can wrap up early as I'm bored, and I need to phone a lot of people and tell them how crap you all are. Does any one have any questions ? If you say yes you can stay behind and I'll let you know what a mistake that was.
(Murmurs of agreement)
Meeting ends.
I can pretty much guarantee that these people all wear suits when they meet up.
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- Dec 29, 2009
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maybe work in Tesco's for more difficult.
People look down on 'menial' jobs, but they're just as difficult.
- Dec 29, 2009
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@Melissa I'm going to guess I'd have a more enjoyable conversation with the staff who stack the shelves, and work on the tills (ie the real work that makes the place function) than the top level crooks who were fiddling the accounts to manipulate the share price.
My ex is not happy, as some of the people at and around her level, are not very nice. I don't know what she thought they'd be like. I could have told her that years ago. I used to know a guy who went to this type of meeting (as above) to cover for his boss. Just for kicks he invented some stats, every time he'd reel them off and explain how good or bad they were. They were a total fiction. Not one senior manager ever questioned them. Before he retired the other year he had his last work report, where he was commended for improving them. This sums up to me how much some "senior" managers understand about the things they are supposed to be in charge of.
That is hilarious. Work situations and hierarchies are often a farce. If you start pointing out things that might need improving, or notice what's actually going on you can make yourself very unpopular with managers who don't want to change the status quo. I've been sacked from a job before because of this. My big ambition is to be self employed somehow so I don't have to deal with it anymore. Being unhappy at work can be such a drain and cause so much misery.
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"Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart
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Reminds me of when I was a social work intern and I went with my supervisor to a skid row motel where a lot of our clients tended to be. There was this one dude hanging around there wearing a suit with nowhere to go. He claimed that he was once a volunteer for a local social service organization. He kind of clung to us while we were there. Point being, the perception still seems to exist that suit=success, but as a side note, people who hang around in suits when they have nowhere to go kinda creep me out.
I don't agree with it, because obviously the appearance of success is relative to the field of work. Someone wearing a suit while angling for fish in a river in 2ft of water? Probably not a very successful angler.
I don't agree with it, because obviously the appearance of success is relative to the field of work. Someone wearing a suit while angling for fish in a river in 2ft of water? Probably not a very successful angler.
