Strangest advice you've ever been given? | INFJ Forum

Strangest advice you've ever been given?

Gaze

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Sep 5, 2009
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Strangest advice you've ever been given?
 
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"Fuck a fat chick"

Note: Not the way I would have phrased it.
 
This wasn't given to me directly, but it comes from med students doing ER rotations and is intended for the general masses:

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=257985

Stay away from people named "Some Guy" or "This One Dude", because they for whatever reason, just punch someone in the face or hit them with a crowbar and run off. If I see them on the street, I cross the street to get away from them.

Never, ever leave flashlights, shampoo bottles, beer bottles or any long, circular object on the floor because someday you will fall on it and it will somehow, work its way up your rectum.

never leave your last refill of percocet in plain site after your docs office closes if one of these 3 friends is coming over for dinner:
1. some dude
2. my friend
3. that bitch

The one below is a favorite of mine
if the two dudes live in YOUR city, don't sit out on your front porch reading the bible and minding your own business at 2 AM unless you are praying to be shot
 
Dont walk under an arched street sign because its bad luck. I defied the person who said this and walked under anyway. I proceeded to have one of the worst experiences in my life. I am not superstitious but I pray continuosly when I have to walk under one of those signs now
 
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To use dryer sheets to prevent skirts from getting stuck to my legs with static. NOTHING works to prevent static for me. (Equally strange/useless: hair spray, safety pins, lotion, slips, shaving, not shaving, tights, no tights, natural fibers, synthetic fibers...all to prevent static. Nope.)
 
"Semper ubi sub ubi."
 
moar sarcastic med students...

Sitting on the porch minding your own business is the #1 cause of knife wounds.

I learned that it's a fantastic idea to (intentionally) take a lot of GHB and then drive down the freeway. With a cockring on.

If you're having abdominal cramping and vaginal bleeding roughly a month after your last period, you should go to the ED to have it checked out. Because, well, you can never be too sure.

The best time to mow the lawn is at night, while intoxicated. And if something more pressing requires your attention, don't turn off the riding-mower, just go ahead and step off.

Insulting someone for their love of the music of Journey can get you stabbed on a Sunday morning.

Please bring me your bedbugs in an unsealed sandwich baggie. Yep, I'll get right on those lab tests....

When giving your wife of 30 years oral sex for the 1st time in about 7 years, feeling tightness in your throat afterwords does not, in fact, mean you are allergic to her. Nor does it necessitate a trip to the ER. Nor does it excuse you medically from future marital duties.
 
To use dryer sheets to prevent skirts from getting stuck to my legs with static. NOTHING works to prevent static for me. (Equally strange/useless: hair spray, safety pins, lotion, slips, shaving, not shaving, tights, no tights, natural fibers, synthetic fibers...all to prevent static. Nope.)
It sounds like your legs are really attractive.

(highfive?)
 
This guy had measles or mumps or something and said his balls were sore. I told him to soak it in warm salt water. He said he was already steaming them.
 
Ring the bell. You'll like it. (I do have a picture of this stranger actually LOL)
 
Ring the bell. You'll like it. (I do have a picture of this stranger actually LOL)
I didn't know what you were talking about so I looked it up on urban dictionary. That's nasty, Sriracha.
 
I didn't know what you were talking about so I looked it up on urban dictionary. That's nasty, Sriracha.

o_O WTF you talkin' about? There were bells ... and he told me to ring it ... I'd like it. I didn't ring it, my friend did.

YOU SO NASTY [MENTION=1798]Feelings[/MENTION]

Gawd
 
o_O WTF you talkin' about? There were bells ... and he told me to ring it ... I'd like it. I didn't ring it, my friend did.

YOU SO NASTY @Feelings

Gawd
Wut? I didn't think it'd be an actual bell, because that seems kinda normal.
 
Oh double nasty [MENTION=1798]Feelings[/MENTION] :S You and your sick fantasies.