Strangers as obstacles | INFJ Forum

Strangers as obstacles

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by Tennislad, Apr 20, 2009.

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  1. Tennislad

    Tennislad Newbie

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    Has anyone or does anyone view strangers as just being things that you want to avoid and not have anything to do with? I feel like I am a nice guy, and I will smile and be nice to strangers but I would much rather just not talk to them or be around them at all.
     
  2. IndigoSensor

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    Yup, at least out in public. And I would venture to think any INFJ will completly agree with this.
     
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  3. dneecey

    dneecey I am who I am.

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    Hm... I prefer to meet new people on my own terms or in my own comfort zone.

    But I genuinely like people and new people lead to new stories.

    So while strangers do pose the obstacle of having to get past my own fear and nervousness, I don't completely shy away from them.

    This all depends on my mood for the day, and how daring I'm feeling though, to be quite honest.

    And like I said, I much prefer to do this on my own terms. That makes me feel a bit more in control of an anxiety filled situation.
     
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  4. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    It's weird. I love people in general. Strangers and acquaintances--I can fall in love with anyone (not romantically) just by noting the expression on their face when they think no one is noticing. Perhaps that makes me somewhat creepy. Oh well.

    But anyway, I have a hard time getting close to or allowing them to be close to me. I don't think I regard them as obstacles, I just think I don't have the energy for a lot of people, and besides, I'm used to being on my own emotionally and mentally that I have nearly forgotten how to open up to people.
     
  5. Silently Honest

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    Well I don't notice that much honestly, if someone starts talking to me while I'm focusing on something I'll be annoyed I'll admit, but I'll humor them and talk back, no need to be a dick about and make an unpleasant situation worse. This is also why I tend to wear headphones when doing something important in public. But usually I'm okay with starting a conversation out of the blue anywhere, provided I'm not tired or something.
     
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  6. dneecey

    dneecey I am who I am.

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    I get this completely. I too fall in love (not romantically) relatively easily. I think it's our empathetic nature. I hope it doesn't make us creepy. :)

    But I also have a hard time getting close, and vice versa. It really does take a lot of energy, and I already have some pretty good friends who I don't pay enough attention to. Lucky for me, they are pretty understanding, but not completely. Still, I am so curious about people that I feel like the only way to get to really know more about them is by making their acquaintance to a certain degree.
     
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  7. Nickyrd2

    Nickyrd2 Newbie

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    I'm always slow to open up to new people. I just can't seem to talk to them until I truly know who they are.
     
  8. PoetOfDreams

    PoetOfDreams Shadow Queen

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    They are just blurry faces in my life. Only if i start seeing them often enough, I notice them. When I notice them, we can be friends. That sounds a bit harsh, but it is true.
     
  9. Faye

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    Aren't we all for the most part strangers on here? I don't know any of you, but I'm still talking to you.
     
  10. IndigoSensor

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    Online is waaaaaay different. You aren't actually face to face.
     
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  11. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Yeah, could be an empathy thing. I really haven't wondered why it occurs, exactly. Maybe it's only creepy if we follow them? Mwahaha!

    My friends are kinda understanding too. They say things like: "She's just in that phase again." Others like to lay guilt trips, which may or may not be deserved.
     
  12. Azure_Knight

    Azure_Knight Community Member

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    I try to be open to meeting people as I am with anything else. I've found that if you don't leave yourself open to being around strangers and such that you miss out on oppertunities to grow. I think I may be more interested in seeing different kinds of people and their personalities than other more introverted INFJ's though.
     
  13. PsilocinProject

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    I love strangers. :3

    I was the little kid that actually took candy from the guy in the beat up, old Chrysler.
     
    #13 PsilocinProject, Apr 21, 2009
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2009
  14. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    98% of the time I regret engaging strangers. However, it is worth it for the other 2%.
     
  15. Azure_Knight

    Azure_Knight Community Member

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    Strangers have the best candy :D
     
  16. efromm

    efromm Hiding In My Shell...
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    It really depends on the stranger. I can usually tell which people I like just by talking with them for a few moments. I tend to like the people that others overlook. Your appearance to me makes no difference it's what is in your heart that matters to me most.
     
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  17. Bored Now

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    I like strangers just fine until they start talking and ruin it all. I'm actually vaguely in love with everyone. All it takes is a little coaxing and the I'm down right fascinated by people.
     
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  18. dneecey

    dneecey I am who I am.

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  19. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    I liter gave a total stranger a ride home and had a mildly scary experience once. It could have been dangerous, but luckily, I can out-creep anyone.

    I was leaving class at night, and the guy popped out of nowhere to see if he could use my phone.
    "Sure," I said.
    Then he's like, "I'll walk you to your car."
    "Great!" I told him.
    Then he asks, "Can I have a ride home?"
    "Why the heck not!" I exclaim.
    I began to wonder if I made a bad decision as I noticed
    during the ride he was looking at me all shifty eyed and ever so stealthfully searching his coat pocket.
    I got a little nervous, so I decided to make him uncomfortable by evangelizing him and acting fanatical. Figuring if I made him think I was crazy he would be too caught off guard to accost me.

    I started pretending to speak in tongues. He didn't accost me.

    I still have no problem picking up hitch hikers, though and I've never had a weird issue again.. just weird conversations.
     
    #19 acd, Apr 21, 2009
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2009
  20. Bored Now

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    That's actually the most awesome thing I've read all day. LOL. When guys hit on me and I I have sunglasses on, I totally cross my eyes and take them off and totally begin flirting like a desperate lazy eyed freak. You'd be surprised how short that cuts conversations. But if a guy is persistent, you can only do it so long before you get a headache.
     
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