So, how do you "date" someone? | INFJ Forum

So, how do you "date" someone?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Jul 12, 2010.

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  1. Gaze

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    So, what is your definition of "dating" someone?




    How does your definition of dating compare to those of friends, peers, etc.?


    Do you have dating rules? Do you ever get major flack OR positive feedback for your dating rules?
     
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    #1 Gaze, Jul 12, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2010
  2. jyrffw54

    jyrffw54 שכינה עוֹלֶה

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    Despite my age, I am pretty "old-school" about it. As in you date only one person at a time. You spend time getting to know each other and each other's families , and enjoying each other's company as well. You can get physically involved, but no sex before marriage...It is also polite to get the girl's father's permission before you date her. You also shouldn't let dating interferwe with your goals/schooling

    A lot of my friends laugh when I tell them this, but that's just how I was raised and it stuck with me. But then again, maybe that's why I haven't been lucky in love. But I am still young...I have years ahead of me
     
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  3. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    I go on dates with a couple different women per week, usually its just a coffee or a hike or something just kind of checking for chemistry. I figure If I just keep putting myself out there I will eventually hit someone who all the math aligns up with and then I will pick her and forget the rest. Until then, I am single and will continue to live as such. Not that I am out sleeping with everyone, I am not. The majority of my dates are 1 timers.
     
  4. 894tt3h9

    On Holiday

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    I tend not to date at all. I prefer forming friendships rather than automatically try to look at people as potential mates. Sometimes when I meet someone there will be chemistry but it tends to fizzle very quickly once I start to get to know them.
     
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  5. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    I only date one person at a time. Usually just a shared activity or something to see if we're both compatible. The first few dates probably won't be 'dates' because I don't tend to like spending money just to do what everyone else does, I'll probably take her to a scenic park or out to eat or something of the like. When I meet someone, I will know immediately if I'm interested in them or not and I will place them into a category of potential friend or potential interest. If a girl is a potential interest of mine, I'll treat her a bit differently than I would a friend, I'd flirt with her and make my intentions known. As I learn about her personality, if I think we're going to click, I ask her out.

    I've considered dating my long term friends but I can never...bring myself to do it. I always think "Well...If I didn't think that I wanted to date her when I first met her, what exactly changed?" and I could never find a answer. People I tend to find attractive (And my view on what's attractive is very particular looks wise and personality wise I think, as well) I tend to not get as close to, I don't want to present the image that I'm just a friend although that can be easily changed. In a way, I see dating just as an outing between two individuals who are potentially interesting in each other. Dating is supposed to be a time where you learn about a person in general, enjoy spending time with them, and decide if you want a relationship.
     
  6. slant

    slant amour-propre
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    I wonder this a lot.

    "Is it possible?" is mostly my main query.
     
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  7. the

    the Si master race.
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    I go and do things with the opposite sex.
     
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  8. Tremolo

    Tremolo <font color=#B20000>Regular Poster</font>

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    I'm similar to this
     
  9. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    I just don't.

    If I like someone, then I spend time with them. I don't consider it "dating" (I don't really like how structured that sounds...), but eventually I will monopolize the relationship. And by that time it would probably be serious beyond "dating."
    I might "date" guys that are interested in me, but I don't think I'd be serious about it, and that isn't very fair. Thus generally, I prefer not to do that.
     
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  10. kita

    kita <font color=#990066>Regular Poster</font>

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    I've always done the same thing. I end up with a best friend I am secretly in love with, and luckily for me the feeling has been mutual. Not because any guy would fall in love with me, but because I don't think I would fall in love with someone who didn't love me back. Yay for intuition.

    By the time that's discovered we'd become a couple without dating. I would be terrible on a date...really shy and nervous and awkward. I'm glad I don't find relationships that way.
     
  11. dark_angel

    dark_angel Community Member

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    First there must be chemistry keeping in mind that it does not necessarily have to be about looks, could be personality, intellect etc. I would then get to know the person whilst trying to keep the hormones from clouding my judgment (love is so blind and I have bumped my head way too many times). I would be very clear on: not too serious too soon and keeping my independence and requiring my space.

    There are definitely some dating no no’s for me: they must be single, not friends (I have only 1 or 2 close friends and want to keep it that way). I do not get intimate on the first date. They must be real, down to earth and honest, sense of humour and able to get me intellectually curious. The interests do not have to be the same at all but they must respect mine. Oh and sad to say but a level of neatness is required as having experienced a slob has left me traumatized lol.

    Respect and honesty are crucial as I refused to be played. My friends would say go on just have some fun, I say no thanks, not into one night stands or “f&ck buddies” or just playing the field, did that in my teens and twenties and just not interested anymore. If I find someone suitable great if not that’s great too, that does not mean I do not put myself out there, I do, I use dating websites or blind dates through friends.
     
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    #11 dark_angel, Jul 13, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2010
  12. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    I will tell you if I ever go on one.
     
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