Shivering isles

Anyone here play oblivion? seems random but it ain't
In the game, or rather, the expansion, shiviring isles, there is a "demigod" called sheogorath. He is the prince of madness and everything about him is insane. No one( even those that play the game , first time playing that is, without reading about him) would understand him and think hes crazy.

heres the thing. In actual fact, hes also another "demigod" (cant remember his name) who is the "god of order". It just so happens that this "god" ( i think its jygalagg or something like that) was cursed and once every something, he will turn into sheogorath, who then destroys everything jygalagg has created. And when he turns back, he destroys everything sheogorath has created and the thing goes on and on in an endless cycle until the player puts an end to it.



Anyway, my point is, I seem to be doing that a lot. I seem to have these long perods of madness and still have the rational part of me guiding me inside ( meaning, I seem like an ExxP but actually I'm an Infj, just putting on something like a mask) . So I will be very outgoing enthusiastic and so on and so forth. Dont get me wrong, its very very very fun and enjoyable but after awhile, I will return back to the Infj me and suddenly be very quiet, not talk much, literally the opposite of the ExxP side of me. And this part will confuse many people, distancing me from some of the people the ExxP part of me got close to.

And then after another while, I will get restless and the ExxP part of me will come out again. the cycle repeats on and on.

Its not my shadow. I recognise it. I had it come out a few times before. That was not fun. anyone here have this same mystery? Or better yet, does anyone know why?

thanks for reading my ranting.