[NSFW] - ShaiRant: F*cking Goddamn Motherf*cking Puppies. | INFJ Forum

[NSFW] ShaiRant: F*cking Goddamn Motherf*cking Puppies.

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Shai Gar, Jan 28, 2010.

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  1. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    We've taught the puppy not to bite. It took us a while because, like all teething animals they like to chew on things. Your feet, your books, your bed, your arm, your couch, doesn't matter, all they want to do is chew.



    Goddamn chainsaw tongue monster is what we made.

    This fucking thing won't stop licking. Even when she's sitting down staring at you, her tongue is going in and out of her mouth licking air. I hate puppies. She's more than a year old and she won't grow up or stop showing me affection.

    I want a damn cat. They'll show you affection, and then go do their own thing.

    This chainsaw tongue won't stop licking.

    F*CKING F*CKING F*CKING F*CK!

    C*NTING C*NTER OF A C*NT!​
     
    #1 Shai Gar, Jan 28, 2010
  2. OP
    Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    I want to read, she wants to stand over me on the bed licking my goddamn head.
    I can't bring myself to hitting her, that's abuse. But fucking FUCK! This fucker won't stop fucking licking!

    I'm locking her outside my room.
     
    #2 Shai Gar, Jan 28, 2010
  3. Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

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    Maybe try putting lemon juice or something foul on your arm and when she goes to lick present your arm and she'll lick but be disgusted, after a while of this she'll get the picture.
     
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    #3 Quinlan, Jan 28, 2010
  4. Wyote

    Wyote (#/-\[]$ ([]`/[]'|'[-
    Staff Member Administrator

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    You just have to teach them to lay down and stay. My family's dog is an incessant licker but she will stay put somewhere if you tell her to, and thus not lick.

    Also, puppy phase is about two years.
     
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    #4 Wyote, Jan 28, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2010
  5. Barnabas

    Barnabas Time Lord

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    pee on your arm and head, she won't go near your territory.
     
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    #5 Barnabas, Jan 28, 2010
    Grasshopper likes this.
  6. NaeturVindur

    NaeturVindur Cuddlemaster
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    good idea, except it will very likely be generalized to a dislike of you.
     
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    #6 NaeturVindur, Jan 28, 2010
  7. Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

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    [quote=N
     
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    #7 Quinlan, Jan 28, 2010
  8. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Give her to me. Puppies are my favorite.
    I will mother her and carry her around in a baby shoulder sling.

    Maybe you need to be extra patient with her and teach her commands like sit and stay, now. Work with her on that a lot. Puppies are not easy, they're very needy for attention and affection and they need dilligent training and tons of exercise. They need to be wore out with walks and playing. If it's too much, give her away to someone who wants to put tons of time into her.

    You could also buy her a giant bone to chew on for hours..
     
    #8 acd, Jan 28, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2010
  9. OP
    Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    She's greyhound/greatdane... You couldn't even hold her up, let alone carry her around in a shopping bag.
     
    #9 Shai Gar, Jan 28, 2010
  10. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    I'd still baby the hell out of her.
     
    #10 acd, Jan 28, 2010
  11. Bored Now

    Bored Now
    On Holiday

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    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Shai Gar complaining about wayward bitches licking him? Is this the first or last sign of the Apocalypse?

    I lurve puppies, someone offered me a Lab/Golden Retriever mix puppy today and i told them i'd sleep on the idea. It might be a bit soon for another pet. But it sure is cute. They have sprays you can can use to get them to stop licking/chewing stuff, but I don't know if its safe to put on your skin.
    [/FONT]
     
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    #11 Bored Now, Jan 28, 2010
  12. OP
    Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    I went to sleep yesterday hugging her, with the older dog asleep almost on my head. They get babied enough sleeping on faux mink or on 1500tc pillows in air conditioning.
     
    #12 Shai Gar, Jan 28, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 28, 2010
  13. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Good ;D
     
    #13 acd, Jan 28, 2010
  14. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    HAHAH

    I could literally picture Shai reading on his bed and a puppy standing and licking his head HAHAHA
     
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    #14 Grey Wolf, Jan 29, 2010
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