Sensitive to the slightest rejection
- Thread starter Artemisia
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I reject this!
Seriously though no. I could careless. And before you give me negative marks again, remember you did ask.
Seriously though no. I could careless. And before you give me negative marks again, remember you did ask.
It used to really get to me. I used to have a hard time trying to fit in with other people or emulating behaviours that I thought would bring about certain kinds of relationships whether it be romantic or otherwise.
It took me a while to realize that being rejected was in my own best interest. If a person wasn't into me as a friend or a lover it wasn't necessarily that something was fundamentally wrong with me, it was just that we weren't compatible at even the most basic level (superficial) so to expect that we could be compatible long term or in any deeper capacity was senseless. For whatever reason that person was not into me just as I've not been into other people.
My rejections of others have simply been because what they're putting out there just isn't in alignment with what I am looking for in my life so I think about that if I feel I am being rejected in some capacity. Of course it still stings the ego a bit but it's always easier to move through it with this perspective. Though I'm in a long term relationship now I don't have to worry about rejection in the dating world but I've definitely been cast off more times than I can count lol. I am not sorry for any of it even though it hurt at the time.
It took me a while to realize that being rejected was in my own best interest. If a person wasn't into me as a friend or a lover it wasn't necessarily that something was fundamentally wrong with me, it was just that we weren't compatible at even the most basic level (superficial) so to expect that we could be compatible long term or in any deeper capacity was senseless. For whatever reason that person was not into me just as I've not been into other people.
My rejections of others have simply been because what they're putting out there just isn't in alignment with what I am looking for in my life so I think about that if I feel I am being rejected in some capacity. Of course it still stings the ego a bit but it's always easier to move through it with this perspective. Though I'm in a long term relationship now I don't have to worry about rejection in the dating world but I've definitely been cast off more times than I can count lol. I am not sorry for any of it even though it hurt at the time.
Being rejected is a bit like going to the movie theater alone. The first time it happens you are self conscious. Do it a couple times and you dont even think about it anymore. I know it may be hard to believe but I have been rejected more than once.
Acknowledge that no one in the world has been loved or even liked by everyone. No one.
Acknowledge that no one in the world has been loved or even liked by everyone. No one.
in my mind, the way you feel about it is not going to change the outcome/reality of the situation. I know you can't shut off your feelings, but accepting that what's going to happen is going to happen, and try not to bother to predict it beforehand might help. I don't know.
What can you do to prevent rejection? Would you do something, or would you just drown in bitterness and fulfill your prophecy?
What measures have you taken to ensure that this isn't a self fulfilling prophecy?
I used to be very sensitive back in the day. Rejection whether it was romantic or just rejection used to really hurt. But I got over it. I don't really give a fuck anymore. I think it was a blessing because I've noticed that I have heightened awareness about the emotions of others. The same way I used to get the slightest hint of rejection, through body language or whatever. And I would feel it. I can sense it in others too. A subtle change in someone's voice or change in posture and I can feel what they are feeling. And I usually try to comfort them in the most chill/laid back way possible. Tell them something like "don't worry".
So yeah I believe they call it Fe. It's a gift. I feel lucky that I absorb so much from people. Even though in the past it used to hurt at times or stress me out. I've grown out of it and now it's just a gift.
Best to accept it. Denial or avoidance makes it worse, at least in my experience. I'd be defensive and play the blame game. I only experienced some level of peace, when I faced it, acknowledged the hurt, fear, and accepted it. I also had to learn that someone rejecting me didn't mean I had done something wrong or was at fault. Maybe something just wasn't a good fit. Maybe no one was responsible, even if it was many against one. At the end, realize you're a separate person from everyone else, and it won't phase you as much. You'll come to tolerate it, and deal with it.
It can also help realize some truths about ourselves, some issues we may have that we haven't faced head on, and so rejection helps us recognize that something in us needs to change. That's the hardest rejection to handle, one that has us realizing a hard truth about ourselves, flaws or faults we ignored and didn't want to face. Of course, it hurts worse when it's harshly given.
A little compassion would probably soften the blow.
It can also help realize some truths about ourselves, some issues we may have that we haven't faced head on, and so rejection helps us recognize that something in us needs to change. That's the hardest rejection to handle, one that has us realizing a hard truth about ourselves, flaws or faults we ignored and didn't want to face. Of course, it hurts worse when it's harshly given.
A little compassion would probably soften the blow.
Used to be much more so until I began to regard it as a kind of narcissism. Obsessing over whether I have fit the bill, been "good enough," gained the approval of others implies a certain grandiosity. It is seeing yourself through the eyes of others and making that the measure of success/failure. If so-and-so thinks I'm fantastic, then I'm fantastic, or so goes the logic. No sense of authentic self, no depth beyond the perceived slights or approval of others. And as if I matter so much! Most people barely notice, and certainly don't spend much time dwelling on my gaffes and other social missteps just because they have their own shit to worry about.
I still get hurt; and it hurts!!!
yesterday someone at work told me in an impolite way something and it hurt for the next 24 hours!!! argh!
yesterday someone at work told me in an impolite way something and it hurt for the next 24 hours!!! argh!
I think the most prone to being hurt are limbic types. They're self-conscious.
But yes, Fs over Ts in general, just it's better to view it in terms of limbic.
But yes, Fs over Ts in general, just it's better to view it in terms of limbic.
I hate this about myself. It hurts, and I have no one to blame but myself. Even when it's my own fault, it hurts no less.
Depends on what is being rejected, which depends on what one has advanced to others.
I take it that you are talking about personal rejection, which involves the rebuffing of a personal advance (friendship/romantic/professional/etc.). However, there are many non-personal concepts/projects/causes/interests/etc., which one can have personal attachment with; if these things are rejected there can be a temptation to be sensitive to it. I sometimes experience the latter in a way that personal.
In terms of personal advances/rebuffs I often feel guilty because I often feel that other people are smothering me. Sometimes if feels like everyone I know is revealing/advancing/etc. themselves personally, seeking acceptance/affection/validation/friendship/attention/etc. I want to be supportive/affirming/etc., but like I said, it feels as though I am being smothered; and sometimes despite not wanting to, I will lash out either explicitly, or subtly. Lashing out just brings out personal hurt/rejection in others and gets me feeling guilty. I then have to put in double-time affirming/accepting/giving attention/etc., which just makes the feeling of being smothered even worse.
Anyhow, the point of the preceding is that some of the personal rejection you experience may be more about the over-extension of the person rejecting, than about some personal quality/attribute you may, or may not possess.
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No, I don't care whether my attentions are rejected! I don't see it as me as a person that is being rejected, but my attentions. Attitude of gratitude... no expectations. Maybe I gave them a nice compliment or they felt good about themselves because of my attention.
I'm used to being rejected. I put it down to them not understanding me. I've been called insensitive and blunt. But that's cause most people don't like it if you tell them how it is and still fewer appreciate our ability to uncannily "see" into the future and how a current situation will unravel. Yes, they usually reject my views but then things usually turn out the way I predict, so I don't take it personal. Life is too short to hv to explain yourself everytime. So I've grown a thick skin and let the bullets come and I absorb them all. Cause ultimately its all about being misunderstood. And I'm used to that, although I must admit its a lonely existence.
I am not thrilled about rejection. Meaning I don't run around wearing it like a badge of honor and it doesn't give me a warm fuzzy feeling but no I am not sensitive to the slightest rejection. That is just part of life. Not to sound insensitive but it's kinda one of those, "deal with it" scenarios. Not everybody in the world is going to like us.