Seduction

Saram

Saram

Regular Poster
MBTI
INFJ
Enneagram
9/4
Oh no, I just did it again. I wish I weren't such a magnet. I want to hide.
 
One of the stupid fathers at my daughters stupid school. We went on a class trip. I had to sit with him on the bus, and I was just being my stupid stupid congenial pixilated usual self. Saying what lofty things were on my mind. Like how neat it would be to go to Siberia and stuff, er whatever. Now, he won't leave me alone. Why can't I just ZIP IT, and be bloody boring! I have a whole entourage of these married men that I DON'T WANT, I LIKE MY HUSBAND! And the more I Try to avoid them, the harder they try to get my attention. It makes me hate myself. I want to throw something. The nattering hens in the school yard all look at me like I'm a homewrecker, when for galsh sakes, I take pride in my integrity. I am a faithful woman.
 
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Saram said:
I have a whole entourage of these married men that I DON'T WANT, I LIKE MY HUSBAND! And the more I Try to avoid them, the harder they try to get my attention. It makes me hate myself. I want to throw something. The nattering hens in the school yard all look at me like I'm a homewrecker, when for galsh sakes, I take pride in my integrity. I am a faithful woman.
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I'm assuming this is a private school by the way you're talking about the other parents.

You should be faithful and wreck homes in secret so that you look like a better person than everyone else.
 
Find out what turns these men off and use it against them.

This is your mission.
 
bickelz said:
I'm assuming this is a private school by the way you're talking about the other parents.

You should be faithful and wreck homes in secret so that you look like a better person than everyone else.
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The funny thing is, the men and women that are actually looking for, or engaging in "extra curricular activities", (pardon my spelling) are often welcomed by the clucking hens.

By clucking hens, I mean those destructive malicious gossips. The ones you stay away from so you don't become dirt yourself.
 
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Saram said:
It makes me hate myself.
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No-no-no-nooooo! Don't look at it like this, please.

You are not the problem, those who would cheat on their partners are, everyone knows that is logically the truth and yet it is easy for women in particular to feel responsible and/or guilty about getting attention from those kind of parasites. As if your behaviour could cause a faithful man to flirt with you!

Do not tolerate suggestive behaviour or propositions from any of them, if they respect that you can continue being your normal friendly self, if they do not they will avoid you = win-win.

Don't allow yourself to feel you are doing anything wrong by telling a man to back the hell off because he is making you uncomfortable.
 
Lurker said:
No-no-no-nooooo! Don't look at it like this, please.

You are not the problem, those who would cheat on their partners are, everyone knows that is logically the truth and yet it is easy for women in particular to feel responsible and/or guilty about getting attention from those kind of parasites. As if your behaviour could cause a faithful man to flirt with you!

Do not tolerate suggestive behaviour or propositions from any of them, if they respect that you can continue being your normal friendly self, if they do not they will avoid you = win-win.

Don't allow yourself to feel you are doing anything wrong by telling a man to back the hell off because he is making you uncomfortable.
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Thankyou Lurker. It's easy to resort to the feeling of shame. Even if it isn't logical. I don't like getting attention. Most women have some issues with body image. I'm definately one of them. I put on a lot of weight after my sister killed herself, and actually preferred it in a way. I was invisible to the men that might try to take advantage of me. Weight is a good filter. I could just be myself. But, I had to take care of my heath. So I started to take care of my body again. I've returned to what I was. Now, I'm not invisible anymore. Why would I want some men gawking at my face or body, to the point where I feel like they have me memorized. And to be so bold about it. With so much urgency from some of them, that my compassionate side is compelled. They are only human, after all. Maybe I don't understand male sexuality. I feel so naive. I appreciate your support.
 
Perhaps these men confuse your jovial nature with flirting, if you're giggly or smile a lot, they might take that as a sign of interest. It sucks, but I inhibit the eye-contact and smiles when I get the feeling I'm dealing with somebody like that. They usually leave me be.

Crush them all!
 
Saram said:
Thankyou Lurker. It's easy to resort to the feeling of shame. Even if it isn't logical. I don't like getting attention. Most women have some issues with body image. I'm definately one of them. I put on a lot of weight after my sister killed herself, and actually preferred it in a way. I was invisible to the men that might try to take advantage of me. Weight is a good filter. I could just be myself. But, I had to take care of my heath. So I started to take care of my body again. I've returned to what I was. Now, I'm not invisible anymore. Why would I want some men gawking at my face or body, to the point where I feel like they have me memorized. And to be so bold about it. With so much urgency from some of them, that my compassionate side is compelled. They are only human, after all. Maybe I don't understand male sexuality. I feel so naive. I appreciate your support.
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I'm not married but like you I abhor unwanted attention. It is true that when you dress in an unflattering way, the men go away. Although it works, it isn't really fair because one of the joys of womanhood is style. The gawking is one thing but the attempts to touch. <shudders> The really odd thing, as you are experiencing, is that the more you avoid them the more intrigued they become. I wish I knew the solution. I chopped off my hair and dressed dowdily so that I can be in peace and I've mastered the look of disdain and the look beyond the creep, as if he is invisible stare. All rather childish responses, I admit, but that's the only thing that seems to work.

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In response to the query, since you have no wall etc., there will be no pic posting. Trust me I'm perfectly ordinary. Men are just well, men.
 
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kiu said:
I'm not married but like you I abhor unwanted attention. It is true that when you dress in an unflattering way, the men go away. Although it works, it isn't really fair because one of the joys of womanhood is style. The gawking is one thing but the attempts to touch. <shudders> The really odd thing, as you are experiencing, is that the more you avoid them the more intrigued they become. I wish I knew the solution. I chopped off my hair and dressed dowdily so that I can be in peace and I've mastered the look of disdain and the look beyond the creep, as if he is invisible stare. All rather childish responses, I admit, but that's the only thing that seems to work.
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Ahhhh. You know, funny. Once when I was a teenager. Iiiiiiii'm noooot joking. I was walking home. Nature called. It called verrrrrry loudly. I had to run into the bushes, and express myself, via, expulsion of used food, ;) if you know what I mean. Aaaaand, I missed the ground. I realised this, when I pulled up my pants. I was wearing shorts. Now brown ofcourse. I had to walk another 20 minutes home, through my subdivision! It was a very uncomfortable walk. I was MORTIFIED! But, what made it an even more wonderful moment, was the car of teenaged boys (a couple years older than me), that drove up to me, and asked me if I wanted a drive. I wanted to slip into a coma, and be....gone..... But, instead I said, no thanks. They persisted! When I said "No", for the thousanth time, they said, "why?" I yelled, "because I'm covered in shit!"
 
Saram said:
Ahhhh. You know, funny. Once when I was a teenager. Iiiiiiii'm noooot joking. I was walking home. Nature called. It called verrrrrry loudly. I had to run into the bushes, and express myself, via, expulsion of used food, ;) if you know what I mean. Aaaaand, I missed the ground. I realised this, when I pulled up my pants. I was wearing shorts. Now brown ofcourse. I had to walk another 20 minutes home, through my subdivision! It was a very uncomfortable walk. I was MORTIFIED! But, what made it an even more wonderful moment, was the car of teenaged boys (a couple years older than me), that drove up to me, and asked me if I wanted a drive. I wanted to slip into a coma, and be....gone..... But, instead I said, no thanks. They persisted! When I said "No", for the thousanth time, they said, "why?" I yelled, "because I'm covered in shit!"
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Yup. My point exactly.
 
Don't chop off that beautiful hair Saram. You remind me of my sister. Girls were always coming up to her in the bars, trying to pick fights with her. She was such a gentle girl too. She always felt so hurt. It's because she had a shine about her. She made them feel insecure. You remind me so much of her. Your story. She died...Sorry about your sister love. Don't put that weight back on either. You probably make a lot of those guys feel good about themselves. Somehow, you make them think that they've still got it. You may even give some of them something to hope for. Don't you remember the highschool days when a few guys liked a girl. It's like they all jumped on the bandwagon, like there was some big competition. Men don't change that much. But, when they start getting pushy with you, that's not cool. Don't feel sorry for them. No eye contact. Try to stick to a buddy, so they can't get you alone. Eventually, they'll jump off the bandwagon.
 
Thanks Bluegreen. How did your sister die?
 
I just got chills. I won't ask anymore details. I'm telling you, That night I found out. It was like someone had taken a sawed off shot gun, and blown my heart out of my chest. I was dead for YEARS. I used to go for jogs, in the middle of January barefoot to just TRY to take away the pain. For years, if I fell asleep at night, I'd wake up in the morning, thinking 'how the hell, am I not dead.'. I'd go to her graveyard at all hours, and just pound and claw at the dirt of her grave begging, just begging for mercy. It was excruciating.
 
Talk about your husband to your groupies... A LOT. Brag, brag, brag. Nothing a guy (or girl) hates more. Total turn off and they'll realize how crazy you are about him! Like 'me and my hubby are dying to visit <exotic location>!' Also, it helps to ask them questions about their wives to remind them who they should be thinking about. Nothing like a good guilt trip :)
 
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