Romance in the world | INFJ Forum

Romance in the world

Gaze

Gaze

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How would you describe the romance in or of things? What are romantic aspects of life, art, architecture, music, culture, relationships (sensuality), literature, language, science, etc. that you enjoy or love? What's your idea of romancing someone?

Note: The word romance is defined broadly here. In this aspect, it is not being defined as an opposite to realism or practicality. Nor is it understand as mere fantasy. The understanding of romance in this thread is more about appreciating romance in various forms for it's own sake, not for what it is not.

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Here is the Oxford Dictionaries definition:

ro·mance
/rōˈmans/
noun

  • 1.a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love: "in search of romance"
  • 2.a quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life:"the beauty and romance of the night"synonyms:mystery, glamour, excitement, exoticism, mystique, ... more

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One of the reasons why I appreciate the romance of things not necessarily romance in love or relationships, is that it allows you to feel things in the moment, and find something meaningful or interesting in experiences to enjoy, especially when life is tough or difficult but also beautiful. It gives you a kind of soulful energy, to have a so-called romantic experience to get lost in. And romantic doesn't have to be some fluffy concept where you make promises you can't keep or get lost in feelings of love or in love. I think it's just having a uniquely heightened experience of the world or a person. It doesn't have to last forever. It can be a moment and disappear. It can be simple as seeing a beautiful flower and getting lost in the beauty of it for a moment. Doesn't have to be grand or grand gestures, just an openness to experiencing the world in a different way than you normally do.
 
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Gale said:
One of the reasons why I appreciate the romance of things not necessarily romance in love or relationships, is that it allows you to feel things in the moment, and find something meaningful or interesting in experiences to enjoy, especially when life is tough or beautiful. It gives you a kind of soulful energy, to have a so-called romantic experience to get lost in. And romantic doesn't have to be some fluffy concept where you make promises you can't keep or get lost in feelings of love or in love. I think it's just having a uniquely heightened experience of the world or a person. It doesn't have to last forever. It can be a moment and disappear. It can be simple as seeing a beautiful flower and getting lost in the beauty of it for a moment. Doesn't have to be grand or grand gestures, just an openness to experience the world in a different way than you normally do.
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I appreciate your view of romance. It's sensible. I can't stand the poetry-laden idealists who parrot the last romantic film they've consumed, touting cliches as they fail in learning, life, and love.
 
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Romance to me is any approach to life that dresses the object in its most poeticized and idealized form. So yes, there's the type of romance that celebrates those acting in accordance to the classical expression of masculine and feminine union and perfect love, but there's also a sunset in a valley of flowers or moonlight dancing on the water in a still pond. Romance to me is a celebration of beauty in archetypes accentuated by the tragic self-awareness that this is in fact a liminal space, neither practical or entirely out of reach, but rare and fleeting in its flowering.

In other words, it's something we all want and can reach but rarely do because we are all flawed and the world is a messed up place, so when we happen upon it, we're caught up in simultaneous misery and relief -- relief that we've momentarily experienced this 'perfection,' misery that we can't see this all the time.
 
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I think that the whole idea of romance is cultural, both in the general sense (i.e. romanticism) and romantic love. For instance, when I went abroad, the culture I was visiting had no concept of romantic love really. All marriages were arranged, so almost everyone was married before finishing high school, which often meant not finishing high school for the women (since they were having babies). Love and romance were not really a part of the equation: all that mattered is you accept your role and and behave how society expects you to. People would have children together with their arranged spouses without being in love with them. Some surely do fall in love, but others I spoke to admitted they were not in love and said that it was an odd question.

As for romanticism, which could be both the romance in things and the romance of things, I think it is something that is propagated because it pairs so well with our consumerist society. Going places and experiencing things allow for more opportunities for capitalists to make money off of people. Historically and in much of the world, people usually did not travel very much and usually just did the same sorts of things. These days, you can see facebook and instagram full of people travelling everywhere and trying all sorts of new things. I do not think this is wrong necessarily, but I do not think it is wrong to just stay in the same place and do the same things either. It was important for me to realize though because it helps me to be content staying where I am; however, I have already done a fair bit of romantic stuff myself, so maybe that is not saying much. xD
 
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Gaze said:
How would you describe the romance in or of things? What are romantic aspects of life, art, architecture, music, culture, relationships (sensuality), literature, language, science, etc. that you enjoy or love? What's your idea of romancing someone?
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I think it is worshipping at the alter of the goddess

For the poet robert graves the goddess was his muse

For the 'romantic' poets like byron, shelley, keats, wordsworth etc they sought the 'sublime' and a connection with a divine source that would whisper to them like the wind through an aoelian harp

It's your intuitive journey and as such could involve places, people, information, art etc

Its a voice you have to step outside of the noise and hustle and bustle of modern life to hear. To follow it you have to be willing to step outside of the herd and all of their noise

You cannot be loyal to the herd and the goddess. It's one or the other
 
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I honestly wish for a time when the dating culture was a lot more like the 1930s-60s. Aside from the gender inequality "household bread winner and caretaker" mentality, the dating culture was actually a lot more meaningful.

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There wasn't such thing as the stupid and shallow current concepts of dating apps, "Netflix and Chill", sidechicks, friends with benefits, etc, etc. I would NOT be surprised that in a past life (if it exists) I lived through these times... *sigh*

I will say this again, I am living in the wrong generation.
 
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JennyDaniella said:
I honestly wish for a time when the dating culture was a lot more like the 1930s-60s. Aside from the gender inequality "household bread winner and caretaker" mentality, the dating culture was actually a lot more meaningful.

5bafd27017c8e1de0489925f463bdaba.jpg


There wasn't such thing as the stupid and shallow current concepts of dating apps, "Netflix and Chill", sidechicks, friends with benefits, etc, etc. I would NOT be surprised that in a past life (if it exists) I lived through these times... *sigh*

I will say this again, I am living in the wrong generation.
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I agree.

Somewhere, somehow, something went to shit.


Call it conservatism but I do believe that Americans by-and-large generally have the wrong mindset when it comes to dating, marriage, and family.
 
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Pin said:
I agree.

Somewhere, somehow, something went to shit.


Call it conservatism but I do believe that Americans by-and-large generally have the wrong mindset when it comes to dating, marriage, and family.
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Yep. Well I’m all for dating and marriage, but children, ehhhh. I love kids, don’t get me wrong, it’s why I’m a nanny; but they are incredibly expensive and unfortunately a lot of newer studies have been showing that having children results a lot of marital dissatisfaction.

I’ve been learning a lot of new shizz in my Family, Marriage and Relationship Social Studies class.
 
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JennyDaniella said:
Yep. Well I’m all for dating and marriage, but children, ehhhh. I love kids, don’t get me wrong, it’s why I’m a nanny; but they are incredibly expensive and unfortunately a lot of newer studies have been showing that having children results a lot of marital dissatisfaction.

I’ve been learning a lot of new shizz in my Family, Marriage and Relationship Social Studies class.
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Damn it Jenny, killing my nostalgia-boner one post at a time.

Becoming a parent probably isn't the most fun thing in the world but there's a lot to be gained, specifically one more person who preserves family interests.

Are there any ways to mitigate the misery?
 
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JennyDaniella said:
Yep. Well I’m all for dating and marriage, but children, ehhhh. I love kids, don’t get me wrong, it’s why I’m a nanny; but they are incredibly expensive and unfortunately a lot of newer studies have been showing that having children results a lot of marital dissatisfaction.

I’ve been learning a lot of new shizz in my Family, Marriage and Relationship Social Studies class.
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I wanna have so many babies.
 
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