[INFJ] Relationship With Psychopath
- Thread starter Yva
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From what I understand, they have a bunch of emotions reserved for a few specific people that are genuine emotions. Which may be why so many still end up in relationships for a long time, because the other person feels like there is a genuine connection there, like they're special to be close to that person, and if they are so lucky to have gotten close, it must be love right? But I also thought the fact they don't process emotions like others is due to an issue on their frontal lobe, so it doesn't regulate emotion properly.
Uhhhhm. No. I wouldn't.
Uhhhhm. No. I wouldn't.
I can definitely believe this:
I was in a relationship with someone who I suspect may be a sociopath. There were signs, but I ignored them because we were having fun and the sex was fantastic.
She would occasionally say things that would strike me as "off" (claiming expertise in things that she only had a passing familiarity with) and even admitted at one point that she was diagnosed with sociopathy (psychopathy? I forget the difference and don't care enough to look it up at the moment). I brushed it aside because I felt that she cared for me, and to this day I am convinced that she did until I tried to break up with her. I was inexperienced in relationships, getting frustrated with a number of circumstantial obstacles, and didn't really know what to do other than "take a break" - I have a better idea of what this entails, now.
She was devastated. If she wasn't, that was by far the best acting I have ever seen in my entire life. She downed about a half a fifth of vodka that night and moved out within a week or two. We continued to see each other for another 18 months or so, although not in an "official" capacity. She was also seeing other guys but would tell me they were friends. This is around the point where I think she wrote me off. She lied to me and to them, and she was really good at it. I think she's engaged to the last guy she was seeing (while we were still having sex, mind you, but according to her fiance she and I were "just friends"... not sure how he can be so certain of that, but I know from experience you can trick yourself into believing the things that you want to).
I wound up cutting all contact with her and her family. It hurts to this day and I wish there would've been another way, but I know I'm better off for it. She probably is, too.
If you are asking this because you have the "opportunity" to date a sociopath/psychopath... I say run, very fast and very far away. They are not necessarily bad people by default, but there are much better options for a fulfilling, long-term relationship.
TL;DR: NO
I was in a relationship with someone who I suspect may be a sociopath. There were signs, but I ignored them because we were having fun and the sex was fantastic.
She would occasionally say things that would strike me as "off" (claiming expertise in things that she only had a passing familiarity with) and even admitted at one point that she was diagnosed with sociopathy (psychopathy? I forget the difference and don't care enough to look it up at the moment). I brushed it aside because I felt that she cared for me, and to this day I am convinced that she did until I tried to break up with her. I was inexperienced in relationships, getting frustrated with a number of circumstantial obstacles, and didn't really know what to do other than "take a break" - I have a better idea of what this entails, now.
She was devastated. If she wasn't, that was by far the best acting I have ever seen in my entire life. She downed about a half a fifth of vodka that night and moved out within a week or two. We continued to see each other for another 18 months or so, although not in an "official" capacity. She was also seeing other guys but would tell me they were friends. This is around the point where I think she wrote me off. She lied to me and to them, and she was really good at it. I think she's engaged to the last guy she was seeing (while we were still having sex, mind you, but according to her fiance she and I were "just friends"... not sure how he can be so certain of that, but I know from experience you can trick yourself into believing the things that you want to).
I wound up cutting all contact with her and her family. It hurts to this day and I wish there would've been another way, but I know I'm better off for it. She probably is, too.
If you are asking this because you have the "opportunity" to date a sociopath/psychopath... I say run, very fast and very far away. They are not necessarily bad people by default, but there are much better options for a fulfilling, long-term relationship.
TL;DR: NO
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I just find the idea of being close to someone so inhumane very fascinating. I want to know exactly what really goes on in their minds. Not that I could ever do so since I tend to avoid fake people(Those who hide who they are).
I guess it's inhumane as compared to what the majority of the people see as inhumane, not 'normal'. I think the use of inhumane without much defining is ok for non-scientific texts.
You didn't say otherwise, but I'd like to add that inhumane is not a normative judgment. There's a reason why they have issues and most likely they can't do anything about it. Simply because they are inhumane or mentally ill, doesn't mean they're bad or evil or to be seen as less worthy. They're just different and it would be stupid to ignore that.
Exactly. I know some people who are a bit "off" according to society, but some are the warmest people I've known with the best intentions, but people are quick to say they have screws loose because they are judging them because of that.
I was reading up on psychopathy/sociopathy, and wondering if anyone i knew would fit the description.
I think I was in a relationship with a sociopath, and I was well aware of her issues/shenanigans. I wasn't too bothered by it, but knew it was a problem.
I have suspicions of certain people, and I try to stay away from them.
I think I was in a relationship with a sociopath, and I was well aware of her issues/shenanigans. I wasn't too bothered by it, but knew it was a problem.
I have suspicions of certain people, and I try to stay away from them.
But yeah I would stay away... I had a relationship with a narcissist... I had no idea until the very end... I had even moved out of state to be with him. Probably one of my biggest regrets in my life. I told Yatagarasu about this before but I figure I'll share here too. It ended basically with him forming a hate crime against me with people he knew, them constantly posting on my social media go kill yourself. Would show up at my house telling me to go kill myself. It got so bad I actually did attempt to off myself at one point. He had done things like lie about the relationship having been over with me when he never said anything to me, and completely abandoned me for months. But I really regret not having seen the warning signs because I was so fascinated with his mind in the beginning.
The first time was a culmination of relatively minor things (she was not as clean as I am/wanted to be, didn't have a car and made poor decisions regarding a potential purchase, etc.) with the catalyst being the realization that I could not see myself with her for the rest of my life. I loved her (still do), but that's not the only thing to consider in a potential life-partner.
The last time I saw her ended in an enormous fight. I hate that, by the way... do your very best not to leave your personal relationships (romantic or otherwise) this way. Without going into a lot of detail (that I don't want to get into, anyway), it basically became clear one night that her new "friend" was more than that. I previously suspected as much and repeatedly told her that it was fine if she was dating him; I just wanted to know so that we could end our sexual relationship. She insisted they were only friends so when I found out they were more than that, I flipped. Ultimately, it was her betrayal of my trust that caused me to eject her from my life.
To those of you saying that you would "avoid" psychopaths/sociopaths... it doesn't work that way. You might be able to tell something is "a little off" with them, but they can be extremely charming to the point where you let your defenses down. If you can (somehow) tell that someone has a complete lack of empathy (and I'm not saying my ex did; I suspect as much but will never be positive), then my personal suggestion is that you keep them at a distance or avoid them altogether. I feel terrible making that statement, but it's one of self-preservation and based on my own experiences. I don't believe people are inherently "good" or "bad" but actions made by people are, and certain personality disorders bring with them a greater capacity for one or the other. I don't want to be on the receiving end of an action made by someone else that I consider detrimental to my well-being.
I wanted to address Yva's statement as well but I feel this is more appropriate than anything I was coming up with. These people have personality disorders, but they are still people. Perhaps "inhumane" was not what Yva meant, but I felt it implied they were lacking humanity which is simply not the case (most of the time, anyway).nosferatu said: