I think most of us feel like we're going to be alone forever, until we're not. A lot of people think it's their standards that prevent them from being in a relationship or finding the right person. I am here to tell you that's a stupid way of thinking about it. Allow me to be blunt:
This has nothing to do with standards and everything to do with YOUR personality. It has to do with ideals and expectations that you have built in your mind that very likely do not align with reality. It's nice to have ideas about things but when it comes to interactions with human beings you're doing not only yourself an injustice, but you are doing an injustice to other people. When you so closely adhere to ideals you have created in your head you can expect that no other human being will ever fulfill it because it goes against the nature of what it is to be a human being.
I don't think you are holding out for an ideal and you certainly aren't a better person than anyone else you date. What you're experiencing is just not being on the same wavelength. Maybe the people you have been dating don't share your ideals, your morals, your values. Maybe their personality doesn't complement your own. Maybe you are nitpicking on small things on purpose in order to not be with a person.
I went through a lot of people who I just didn't mesh with. I knew in my mind that the people who were interested in me were good, genuine men who had a lot to offer and a ton of great qualities to bring to the table but unfortunately there was a point that the CHEMISTRY wasn't there. It wasn't about their personality or their appearance, it was that spark that I wasn't feeling. I resigned myself to being single and I was happy with the choice. It never occurred to me to think that I was better than someone else, that these other men couldn't fulfill certain ideals (in some cases they actually did) or that I was just meant to be alone. It was simply because things didn't align in a way that we mutually wanted to pursue a romantic relationship.
It wasn't until I turned 28 that I found someone who I know I will be with for the rest of my life and oddly enough it was a friend I had briefly dated five years previous. He was one of the men who fulfilled all of my "ideals" and I fulfilled his. At that time, years ago, we would have been perfect together on paper but that spark wasn't there. We had to grow as people and come into our own as individuals and reconnected and hit it off. Oddly enough, both of us had changed fundamentally and what we had looked for in a partner and what we wanted romantically long term had drastically changed since we originally dated.
So you see, sometimes you have to grow the fuck up. Sometimes you have to wait until you are fully yourself and have established yourself in your own life and your own mind before you can ever let down your guard and let the right person in. I am fairly certain with 7 billion people on the planet that the chances of any of you being alone for ever are slim to none.
My advice is to stop putting yourself on a pedestal. Stop thinking that it's OTHER people who aren't fulfilling your needs. Stop clinging to the idea of what your relationship is supposed to look like and how it's supposed to feel. Just let yourself connect with others, learn what you need to learn and continue to move forward and constantly improving yourself. Eventually you will come into contact and it will just work. I have seen this over and over and over again in my younger self, in my friends and others that I have observed.
Be patient. Be open.
