I want to ask about something I hardly notice gets talked about. (Question at the end, bear with me.)
Not sure how many here are familiar with Shadow Functions, but the INFJ uses Si as the inferior "Demon" function, or the 8th function... When experiencing trauma/bad experiences, for the INFJ(and INTJ) those things tend to get suppressed to our unconscious. And even if we're aware of the things that 'happened' we rarely actually understand how it has consciously affected us without deep introspection. Instead we can have outward reactions/behaviors without realizing it. (My question below after the functions.)
The order of the Shadow Functions for INFJ are :
Ne= 5th Opposing (ego defensive)
Fi= 6th Witch/Senex/Critical Parent (critical towards others and self...wanting to be right, that inner "I know!"; reactive when feeling unappreciated/taken for granted.
I think this one could have to do with ingrained negative behaviors from our parents that we adopted.)
Te= Trickster (this is opposite the Tertiaty function or "child", so this is the reaction where the child doesn't want to behave or obey the rules when being under authority that gets in the way of them expressing that child.)
Si= Demon (most unconscious reactions to negative experiences. The 4th function, Se or Anima, is how we are "connected to life" and thus Si is the opposite; death. This often manifests in ego death at it's most extreme. But generally it represents the integration of the self.)
I am an INFJ who hasn't really been able to know any others who have experienced the level of ego-disintegration that I have.... From severe trauma and abuse majority of my life, I have a Dissociative disorder and my sense of identity is very broken up. I am by nature an organized person, and all of the J traits generally apply to me. But for a lot of my life I had depression so bad that I have struggled with things like keeping my bedroom organized, washing my clothes after weeks, putting papers in the trash I no longer need instead of letting them stack up. I'm not the most adaptable person, not immediately, I struggle with change in routine, but a lot of my childhood was made up of sudden, abrupt changes, sudden events and instability, so as a young adult I struggle with finding this in myself due to lack of motivation, and my drive for striving for my future became mostly disintegrated by age 15. I became more and more like an unemotional robot. I'm going on 21 now and just the past 6 months have things finally begun falling into place in my life and I'm getting better and learning how to have the stable routine I always longed for, but it is hard.
I think this could be relevant to the 8th function Introverted Sensing, whereas, my ability to feel secure in my own being is distorted, being present for me is more excruciating than the average inferior Se function; thus Dissociation on a daily basis.
I feel very alone in this aspect, pertaining to my type. I'm wondering if there are other INFJs who have been this broken at some point in their lives? If so, were you able to break free? What was it like for you to recover from the ego-death experience and re-integrate your sense of self?
Not sure how many here are familiar with Shadow Functions, but the INFJ uses Si as the inferior "Demon" function, or the 8th function... When experiencing trauma/bad experiences, for the INFJ(and INTJ) those things tend to get suppressed to our unconscious. And even if we're aware of the things that 'happened' we rarely actually understand how it has consciously affected us without deep introspection. Instead we can have outward reactions/behaviors without realizing it. (My question below after the functions.)
The order of the Shadow Functions for INFJ are :
Ne= 5th Opposing (ego defensive)
Fi= 6th Witch/Senex/Critical Parent (critical towards others and self...wanting to be right, that inner "I know!"; reactive when feeling unappreciated/taken for granted.
I think this one could have to do with ingrained negative behaviors from our parents that we adopted.)
Te= Trickster (this is opposite the Tertiaty function or "child", so this is the reaction where the child doesn't want to behave or obey the rules when being under authority that gets in the way of them expressing that child.)
Si= Demon (most unconscious reactions to negative experiences. The 4th function, Se or Anima, is how we are "connected to life" and thus Si is the opposite; death. This often manifests in ego death at it's most extreme. But generally it represents the integration of the self.)
I am an INFJ who hasn't really been able to know any others who have experienced the level of ego-disintegration that I have.... From severe trauma and abuse majority of my life, I have a Dissociative disorder and my sense of identity is very broken up. I am by nature an organized person, and all of the J traits generally apply to me. But for a lot of my life I had depression so bad that I have struggled with things like keeping my bedroom organized, washing my clothes after weeks, putting papers in the trash I no longer need instead of letting them stack up. I'm not the most adaptable person, not immediately, I struggle with change in routine, but a lot of my childhood was made up of sudden, abrupt changes, sudden events and instability, so as a young adult I struggle with finding this in myself due to lack of motivation, and my drive for striving for my future became mostly disintegrated by age 15. I became more and more like an unemotional robot. I'm going on 21 now and just the past 6 months have things finally begun falling into place in my life and I'm getting better and learning how to have the stable routine I always longed for, but it is hard.
I think this could be relevant to the 8th function Introverted Sensing, whereas, my ability to feel secure in my own being is distorted, being present for me is more excruciating than the average inferior Se function; thus Dissociation on a daily basis.
I feel very alone in this aspect, pertaining to my type. I'm wondering if there are other INFJs who have been this broken at some point in their lives? If so, were you able to break free? What was it like for you to recover from the ego-death experience and re-integrate your sense of self?
