Pressure to be interesting and entertaining
- Thread starter Gaze
- Start date
My ideal conversation is probably more like this
Person X: I had a bad day because I just couldn't get anything done.
Person Y: I'm sorry to hear your day didn't go so well, what was up?
finish listening, pause while thinking of a reply
Person X: I just couldn't believe that balloon hoax and how everyone was fooled.
finish listening, pause while thinking of a reply
Person Y: I know exactly what you mean. I saw that on the news and it just dumbfounded me.
Person X: I was just so mad.
finish listening, pause while thinking of a reply
Person Y: I don't blame you. Can you imagine what they are going to do to the parents?
I definitely wish no one believed in "akward silences". But, knowing that a lot of people do consider silence akward, I worry that silences will make someone I'm getting to know uncomfortable, which makes me uncomfortable. I'm getting less uncomfortable about that, though. It's still a hassle to have to act pushy in group conversations, but I don't see any way around that. I think with my current bf I have the problem the OP mentioned that he thought I really was the pushy person I was acting like when he met me (in a group situation), and he's disappointed that I'm not. It took me a long time to realize that.
Person X: I had a bad day because I just couldn't get anything done.
Person Y: I'm sorry to hear your day didn't go so well, what was up?
finish listening, pause while thinking of a reply
Person X: I just couldn't believe that balloon hoax and how everyone was fooled.
finish listening, pause while thinking of a reply
Person Y: I know exactly what you mean. I saw that on the news and it just dumbfounded me.
Person X: I was just so mad.
finish listening, pause while thinking of a reply
Person Y: I don't blame you. Can you imagine what they are going to do to the parents?
I definitely wish no one believed in "akward silences". But, knowing that a lot of people do consider silence akward, I worry that silences will make someone I'm getting to know uncomfortable, which makes me uncomfortable. I'm getting less uncomfortable about that, though. It's still a hassle to have to act pushy in group conversations, but I don't see any way around that. I think with my current bf I have the problem the OP mentioned that he thought I really was the pushy person I was acting like when he met me (in a group situation), and he's disappointed that I'm not. It took me a long time to realize that.
I learned pretty early that humor was a good way to make friends and keep things interesting, so I tend to use it a lot. Unfortunately, people sometimes grow to expect it, and when I'm not feeling interesting, I feel as if I'm...well, boring.
I agree that there is an unrealistic expectation/pressure to be interesting. Im generally a very quiet person, and I may seem boring to people. However, my two closest friends are fine with silence, they aren't uncomfortable at all (at least I don't think so) and I don't feel too much pressure around them. I just stick with people like them, accepting, and unconditionally loving, with low/or no expectations.
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