Not being the best that you can be is just fine. Or is it? You tell me!!

[Teddy Ted]

I do apologize if this is a rather long post but it is the biggest thing that is tormenting my teenage years right now. Just had a rather pained discussion session with my parents and it had me thinking.

What happened was this. Right, a little background information to start things off.
My parents have never been financially that well off since I was little, filled with not so wise financial decisions. My dad owes a huge debt to numerous banks that he will not be able to pay off unless he gets a large pay rise or a financial miracle occurs.
Grew up in my younger years watching my parents fight over the household finances and how much each person was to take responsibility in taking care of the children.
It was not unusual for violence to enter the picture. My mother would throw things and my father would hit my mother or suddenly storm out of the house for hours on end. It was not uncommon for the violence to reach us. We (I have an elder sister) used to live in fear of our mother hitting or throwing thing at us whenever our father was out.
At times I was an emotional wreck (mind you I was 7 or 8) and divorce was always in the air

 

[Morgain]

It is a question I have been struggling with for a long time, it pops up again and again and I have never find a good answer. But it is good that it pops up, it forces you to look at your life and decide whether you are satisfied with it as it is or not. If not, what do you need to be satisfied?

I think it is not important to ALWAYS thrive to be the best you can. It is about being as good as you have to be in order TO BE HAPPY AND CONTENT
This can differ for different people. Some people need a big house and a big car to feel satisfied. Other people don’t care much about money but need a big family around them to be satisfied. Some people need a job that gives them joy whatever the paycheck.

I think, like all things in life, this is about balances. The balance between earning money, loving your job, being with people you love, making time to do things you love, buy things you love, … First you need to decide what your priorities are and then you’ll have to decide what you need to make that come true. What kind of job do you need, how much effort do you have to put into your studies, your job, … to get what you need to be satisfied

So yes, I think happiness lies in satisfaction. If you keep wondering what live would be if you had more money, another job, … then you’ll never be happy.
So I would say, be as good as you need to be in order to live a comfortable life to your own standards.

And that will be open for changes, so the question will keep popping up and you’ll have to find an anwer to it over and over again. Am I satisfied with what I have right now or not…

Follow your heart and believe in yourself and you'll be where you have to be

 

[Trifoilum]

First of all, I am sorry for what you have been through. I've been through some parental shits myself, but violence never enters the picture. Yours seems to be worse.
Retain your sanity, is all I can say about it for now.

Now regarding your questions....I am probably still being blunt about this; feel free to inquire things you feel may offend, or confuse, or confound you in any way.

I am not satisfied and genuinely believe that there is a better solution.
Should I believe that what my parents are doing is the best and let it be? (personally speaking I think what they are doing is not sound financially and not really practical, not the best of solutions).

The best is not always often the one that feels the most.
Neither is the best of you be the best of them.
A sad, faceted, but in the end humane truth.
Put the heart on the equation; human beings are, from the vilest to kindest, run by their heart, in one way or another. They might have suffered-- and fought -- enough.
In exchange; you yourself don't feel that's enough.
That is, IMHO, another problem by itself.

Is it alright for human being to be satisfied at what they are due to the boundaries or limits they set themselves to?

As long as they feel okay with themselves; with not improving; and don't feel like improving.
If you ask me; moral obligation played a part (from society's expectation to religious dogma to achieve 'divinity'), but the most important is the personal intention to-- be. Whatever it is they want to be.
What about you?

Is being the best that you are as important as society. Why do people strive to be better than what they are already?

Sometimes because they wanted to. Sometimes because it was needed. Sometimes because it was demanded from them.
Society played a part; but so is themselves.

Is it because they are not satisfied with what they have or who they are right now? Probably is for many people.

It could very possibly be that. For better or worse, under whatever reason.

Maybe it is important for people to be satisfied with what they are, you are an average joe with average joe problems, you have reached your purpose therefore there is no need to push further.

It really depends.
One does not have to-- follow one and ignore the opposite. Black and white. In fact I believe in this case, a person has to have a certain degree of acceptance, and a certain degree of desire-- to grow. To improve.
If talking about pure black-and-whites; for me the sentence you write above sounds terribly lazy; avoiding pains of the world, in exchange of missing everything the world and its content has to offer. To waste one's potential-- what a waste. That is personally.

Socially it will be different.

It fascinates me and keeps me in awe how patients with terminal illnesses or people of religion come to the conclusion that they reached.

They both ran under different fuels; futility of human life, security under a divine being or a belief, sometimes security under themselves.
It -is- a different path in life.

Does happiness lay in satisfaction? Do humans not have to reach for a better standard?

If you aren't happy with your standard, why should you stop?
But then, if you -are- happy with what you get, why should you go?
That is a question one should ask frequently to themselves.

And that is not talking about one layer and side; there's financial and mental satisfaction; spiritual and social satisfaction; physical and sensory; intellectual and emotional; personal and non-personal... etc.

Maybe all that human beings need is being satisfied with what they have.

In a Zen kind of way, perhaps;
but I personally don't see it as an end.

Is it possible for someone to achieve betterment even when they are satisfied or does it come along naturally once they have reached satisfaction?

Both are highly possible.
I believe growth should be filled with acceptance and satisfaction; otherwise it's running away.

Am right now lost as to what I should believe in. What do I want to become? Is the effort I am putting in right now enough?

That is your own question.
I'll ask something to help;
what sort of human you want to be in 5 years time?

Am I doing justice to myself for feeling fine with what I am right now???

Are you?

Maybe I am just one lost soul in the human rat race to climb the stairs of life for whatever it may be.

You are.
We all -are-.

 

[invisible]

i think you are doing fine. you cant control your parents, you can control your exams.

 

[manatee]

This is sort of unrelated (listen to the other posters, they're wiser than I), but when I'm troubled by things it's soothing to come up with at least ostensibly rigorous rationalizations to "prove" that they're not anything to worry about, even if I am fully aware that my ratiocinations are based on exploiting poor phrasing and stuff like that. I have one specifically tailored for "not being the best you can be," and it's fairly simple.
We, as humans, are unable to go through with any other line of action than that which we value the highest, the preferred option among all conceivable paths, what we "want." This is simply a consequence of how choices are made: were there in our eyes a more desirable alternative, we would necessarily have chosen that instead. By acting the way we act we demonstrate a preference for this specific type of action. Therefore, if we do not strive to be better (or put in even more effort into being better [whatever that means] than we currently are), we are unable to do this, since it is observable that we do not want to do it and are unable to do what we do not want to do. And, naturally, if we cannot become any better, we are the best we can be.
Now that this conundrum is seemingly solved, I can leave it behind. Bye.