Negativity Towards Negativity

just me

just me

Well-known member
MBTI
infj
Question: Has anyone out there experienced negative feelings and gotten angry toward someone, only to hear something bad happened to them(the other person)? I found I could not allow my feelings to get out of control. I have to be careful what I think. If I think it, it is bound to happen.

Anger must be controlled at all costs. Anyone else out there witness things like this before? The spiritual mind knows better, and crossing the line in that mind costs dearly. There may have been some nasty coincidences...
 
Yea, I feel like I jinx people and occurrences all the time.

The worst one's are when I get like some sort of foresight that this bad thing is gunna happen, but then I shrug it of thinking 'don't be daft' , and then that bad thing goes and happens. I'm just left like.. 'I could have stopped that from happening, if I wasn't so lazy about it'.

I'm an angry individual, who is always quick to anger. It's literally the only emotion I'm comfortable with; subsequently, I do wonder about the consequences of such energies.

P.s, how does one change their user title? I was looking for the option the other day, but i couldn't find it.
 
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Nope. Doesn't happen for me. It's the people I care about who get hurt.

People I'm angry at seem to be the safest of all people actually...
 
just me said:
Question: Has anyone out there experienced negative feelings and gotten angry toward someone, only to hear something bad happened to them(the other person)? I found I could not allow my feelings to get out of control. I have to be careful what I think. If I think it, it is bound to happen.

Anger must be controlled at all costs. Anyone else out there witness things like this before? The spiritual mind knows better, and crossing the line in that mind costs dearly. There may have been some nasty coincidences...
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I certainly think that we can effect people in ways that we don’t understand....such as the power of prayer, the power of the placebo effect, the sense of being stared at, paranormal occurrences, etc.
They actually teach assassins in the CIA and Russia NOT to look at the target they are coming up behind to take out because they will feel your eyes on them and turn around.
We absolutely have more control over our reality, positive or negative in nature and that in turn can effect others, some are more susceptible IMHO.
But more so, if we always expect the worst outcome - then that is usually what you will get, and vice-versa with positive thinking and intentions.
 
I don't think anger must be 'controlled at all costs.' In fact, I think trying to police your thoughts and feelings is the root cause of all negativity (and all psychological hang ups and imbalances).For some reason, people seem to associate 'controlling one's negative feelings' with stifling them altogether rather than redirecting them into healthy channels. And all emotion is energy. It can build and back you up. If a given emotion isn't permitted a healthy and self-compassionate outlet, it will come out in other ways... and often in a manner that is disproportionate to the upset. That's when it'll misdirect and become harmful.

You are a human being. You are allowed to experience upset. In fact, you are supposed to experience the full rainbow of feeling. Every emotion gives you information about what it is that you value and gifts you with certain energies. Make friends with your negative feelings. Accept them. Examine them from the perspective of a dispassionate observer and let them tell you what they are here to tell you. Then they won't go into another person. They will only show you a reflection of yourself.
 
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A substantial number of people, who have fundamentally offended me, have gone on to be diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Perhaps this is coincidence, or perhaps people with a certain degree of pervasive and perverse negativity, are more disposed to cancer?
 
just me said:
Question: Has anyone out there experienced negative feelings and gotten angry toward someone, only to hear something bad happened to them(the other person)? I found I could not allow my feelings to get out of control. I have to be careful what I think. If I think it, it is bound to happen.

Anger must be controlled at all costs. Anyone else out there witness things like this before? The spiritual mind knows better, and crossing the line in that mind costs dearly. There may have been some nasty coincidences...
Click to expand...

I took this question differently than I realize you meant it. I originally understood you to be asking if I had gotten angry at someone's behavior, only to discover that something bad had happened to them [to cause them to behave in such a manner]. I'll answer that first: Big yes. My judging side gets in the way of things sometimes. I immediately judge someone's behavior before I allow myself compassion to them for the the perspective they are coming from. I am working on this as it is a trait that I really don't like about myself.

Do I believe my negative feelings towards someone can impact them in a jinx/hex/mysterious kind of way? Hmmmm....not really. But as far as people close to us go, we rarely just feel and don't act (or not act as the case may be) towards someone. If I feel negatively towards someone, I don't call them, check on them, support them emotionally in the ways I can etc, thus affecting them in a different way than perhaps you meant. But feelings in so far as they inform our decision to act or not act, definitely affects others.
 
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Muzzle not the ox? We keep our dog on a leash to protect others, do we not?
 
It is unfair to others for me to get mad or angry at them, so I don't allow it to happen. I keep my anger on a leash. I de-escalate all problems before they get out of hand. All bets are off if I am attacked, but I seriously doubt that will happen because I stay away from it.
 
PintoBean said:
No, I always leashed my dogs to protect them from others.
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My dog and I were attacked by two bulldogs on unheld leashes. I now carry a stick for protection from other dogs: hickory.
 
There's a difference between muzzling/leashing when momentarily appropriate and sentencing an animal to a lifetime in a cage or kennel. If you never let a dog run in its own backyard or an oxen graze on an open field, that is cruelty. Each animal has its own needs. Will you not attend to them?
 
just me said:
My dog and I were attacked by two bulldogs on unheld leashes. I now carry a stick for protection from other dogs: hickory.
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Yeah, breed and temperament comes in to play. I've only ever had smallish, gentle dogs. I leash my dogs partly to keep them from going up to vicious dogs. I also carry pepper spray in case my dog (I had to omit the plural here sadly) gets attacked. We did this also when we lived in coyote territory and the coyotes were known to be brazen enough to even attack lashed dogs. A coyote stalked our house for a while, watching when we came and went with the dogs. It was unnerving.
 
just me said:
It is unfair to others for me to get mad or angry at them, so I don't allow it to happen. I keep my anger on a leash. I de-escalate all problems before they get out of hand. All bets are off if I am attacked, but I seriously doubt that will happen because I stay away from it.
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Unless you have unreasonable or out of control anger issues it is not unfair to get mad, angry, or upset with a situation or person. Anger is a natural and healthy part of the emotional spectrum and the feeling exists for a reason.

As long as you can take a step back and reasonably say, "this is what's making me angry," and explain it to the person that made you angry without blaming them for something, you're good to go.

Lashing out, snapping, or freaking out on a person is unhealthy. Accepting that something has made you angry and then dealing with it is totally fair and reasonable.
 
bolognamacaroni said:
Unless you have unreasonable or out of control anger issues it is not unfair to get mad, angry, or upset with a situation or person. Anger is a natural and healthy part of the emotional spectrum and the feeling exists for a reason.

As long as you can take a step back and reasonably say, "this is what's making me angry," and explain it to the person that made you angry without blaming them for something, you're good to go.

Lashing out, snapping, or freaking out on a person is unhealthy. Accepting that something has made you angry and then dealing with it is totally fair and reasonable.
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Interesting the Bible states to be angry and sin not.
 
On Reason and Passion

Kahlil Gibran

Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against your passion and your appetite.
Would that I could be the peacemaker in your soul, that I might turn the discord and the rivalry of your elements into oneness and melody.

But how shall I, unless you yourselves be also the peacemakers, nay, the lovers of all your elements?

Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul.
If either your sails or your rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas.

For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.
Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion, that it may sing;

And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.

I would have you consider your judgment and your appetite even as you would two loved guests in your house.
Surely you would not honour one guest above the other; for he who is more mindful of one loses the love and the faith of both.

Among the hills, when you sit in the cool shade of the white poplars, sharing the peace and serenity of distant fields and meadows -
- then let your heart say in silence, "God rests in reason."

And when the storm comes, and the mighty wind shakes the forest, and thunder and lightning proclaim the majesty of the sky -
- then let your heart say in awe, "God moves in passion."

And since you are a breath in God's sphere, and a leaf in God's forest, you too should rest in reason and move in passion.​
 
I am patient and slow to anger. If I am angry at them it is because they relentlessly continued in their negative behavior. At some point they need to get past whatever it was they suffered and not continually commit to externally damaging and self destructive behavior. Anger can communicate that point more readily as long as you put forethought in your actions and words and didn't just react destructively yourself.
 
Grayman said:
I am patient and slow to anger. If I am angry at them it is because they relentlessly continued in their negative behavior. At some point they need to get past whatever it was they suffered and not continually commit to externally damaging and self destructive behavior. Anger can communicate that point more readily as long as you put forethought in your actions and words and didn't just react destructively yourself.
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@Grayman,Yes, anger can be used like salt. Anger gets one's attention. Do all things in moderation. Yes, anger can destroy one's own self.
@Skarekrow, I often wonder if the passion I have is what I am beholding. Maybe I have tried to put my own fire out? Maybe the coals are beginning to rekindle. Maybe the night is calling, and the winds are stirring my spirit to be aroused. Maybe I am stronger than I wish to admit? Maybe...I am just a tool. Maybe reason and passion are not my driving forces.

Maybe I am driven by love.
 
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