Need some perspective and advice | INFJ Forum

Need some perspective and advice


Community Member
Dec 6, 2008
So I went on a couple of dates with a guy, mostly because I found him intriguing. However, I'm pretty sure there is no 'spark' there that entails a romantic relationship, but he's on the exact opposite page. I think he thinks I'm his girlfriend now. He's an ESTP and it's painfully obvious we're the exact opposite in many other ways just in general. No spark, exact opposites, it's not gonna work, but he has the wrong idea.

He's so adorable though, and he tries SO HARD that I don't wanna hurt his feelings (he knows we're on opposite sides of the MBTI spectrum so he tries to use this knowledge to better communicate with me to some degree of success).

I'm so bad at this stuff >.<. I usually like to be blunt and honest (this usually, I find, is the least hurtful) but I work with this guy, so that makes it awkward.
I'm a great believer in listening to your gut instincts.

If you've got no spark, I'd make every effort to ensure he understands your feelings, and the limit of them. It's a very difficult thing - for me at least - to have someone have a huge crush on me when my feelings for them are strictly platonic. I hate to be led on; I hate to think I'm leading others on.

Hope you can work it out. Unrequited love/romantic tensions in the workplace can wreak absolute havoc on a life and career, as I know from experience.
Innerflame ... as long as your are not intentionally cruel do tell him that you don't see him that way. He will mope and try to convince you otherwise but he will get over it, and when he's done licking his wounds he'll come back around and everything will be ok. We don't tend to hold grudges.
Been there before. No matter what I did they always got hurt. The sooner the better. Trust me on this.. Or you could ask what their intentions are that might scare him if that's what you are trying to do...
Thanks for the advice guys, now I just need to work up the courage to do it. I don't like making ripples in the peaceful pond :m184: