Need some advice! | INFJ Forum

Need some advice!

Calvins8

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Mar 19, 2015
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Hey everyone new INFJ here,

So I'm at a crossroads in my life right now and could use some advice.

I'm 28 and have been a mason since I was about 16. I know, weird job for an INFJ right? Well, I learned to enjoy it. When I was young I thought it was the creating aspect of it that I liked. Money was tight, but I decided to go to college at night for construction management. What I learned was that it wasn't the creating aspect I liked, it was the people.

Believe it or not when you are standing next to a person for 8 hours a day chipping away at rocks you end up having very deep conversations. I loved talking to guys that were trying to live a drug free life and ex-cons trying to stay clean; high school kids that didn't want to go to college, working class hero's with marriage problems who would never think of seeing a therapist. If we weren't talking about our life issues we talked about politics and religion. We had the conversations that most people consider taboo.

At college I found the opposite. Conversations were shallow, it was small talk, boring. The people bored me and the classes bored me. I just didn't fit in. I fit in with my coworkers, the people who most people didn't give the light of day. The people whom most look at as "invisible." Also, the days were long, 5am to 10pm for three years, which was draining. So with one semester left I dropped out and started paying off my debt.

Fast foreword a few years and here I am. I am no longer fulfilled with my job, in fact I hate it. Most of my friends have moved on and been replaced with people I don't really like. The technical stuff drains me. I need a change.

A four year college degree is pretty much out of the picture. I make too much money to qualify for grants and I am already up to my eyeballs in debt so another loan is extremely unappealing to me.

Lately, I have been seriously considering joining the national guard hopefully as a medic. I need to talk to a recruiter about this but if being a medic is a realistic goal then I want to move foreword with that. What scares me is the commitment and the extended time periods of zero alone time. Seven months of no alone time right off the bat for basic training and medic training. After that is years of being tied to a job I may or may not like. Never mind the fact that I could see a 1 year deployment out of the blue. Oddly enough combat isn't what scares me. It's being away from my world for a year that scares me. I haven't even talked to my friends about this, they would call me crazy for even thinking about it. I'm also fresh to the dating scene. I hope to start a family one day. If I do hopefully meet a girl within a few months is she really going to want to put up with me going away for seven months right off the bat.

So anyway, is there any INFJs out the that are fulfilled without a 4 year degree? I have debated being an EMT-B (I would get that as a national guard medic) which is a short certification process. My problem with that is jobs are sparse, poorly paid, and overworked. So what do you guys think? Is there any certification program that really helps people?

In my mind (which is not necessarily reality) I have two perfect futures (only a pisces would have two perfect futures lol)

One, I work in the medical field helping people who really need it. Places like Syria and parts of Africa.

In the second, I'm a fiction writer and have a loving family.

Anyway, this turned into a vent more then anything but thank you for reading, I really appreciate it :) Any advice on fulfilling, non-4 year degree jobs will be very much appreciated.
Ryan
 
@Calvins8

If you are wishing to not deploy overseas, then you should possibly consider the Coast Guard.
I was a medic for the United States Coast Guard when I was younger…I did go in already as an EMT with a year and a half of experience before joining.
I know it’s a huge decision to make…

They do have the highest requirements in order to join, but you sound like a very intelligent guy and I’m sure it wouldn’t be an issue. (Especially after some folk I have worked with hehe…we even had several people who joined that didn’t know how to swim…I mean really? This is the CG.)

One thing you may want to check on in any service is - HOW LONG the waiting list is before you can be trained for your specific school.
Also, if you have your EMT-B with a year or even just 6 months of experience in the field (I KNOW the pay and hours can suck…but think of it as part of your training) it can give you a hand up for those waiting lists and you are more likely to get closer to your ultimate goal of a medic in one of the military branches.

I joined the USCG, because I didn’t feel like getting shot at so assholes like Cheney could make more money off of his Halliburton contracts.
I really didn’t want to go fight ANY war that I had serious disagreements with.
But not only that, your chances of deploying (although the USCG comes under the dept. of Navy in times of all-out war) are much slimmer, while still serving and protecting our country.


Let me know if that helps at all…I came back and worked as a Paramedic for a few more years…long story short, I ended up working as a Scrub Nurse for a 4 star (as many as you can get) Open Heart Surgery program here in WA.

I know that the USCG now offers one thing they didn’t have when I was there and that is this - They take the top 10% of each graduating Medic class and send them to Duke to become PA’s should they so choose…which IS a 6 year commitment because you are essentially repaying them for the schooling with time served.
 
No advice here because I am a higher education person but realize that it's not for everyone. I just wanted to wish you luck in whatever you decide.
 
You are about to go through your first saturn return. From about 28 to 31 you will probably experience a lot of change and tribulations as you mature into adulthood. So my advice is to stay put; really figure out and spend some time on how you see your life and what you desire and consider all implications. You will probably also will have sudden changes so i would stay away from making an exacting and definite decision until about age 30. Its very normal for people to outgrow by end of their 20's but a lot changes besides just your job. Part of who you are is growing outward and depending on how true to yourself you were during your twenties the transition into the next stage can be smooth or a little bumpy. Take your time; this will be a big change and upgrade.
 
Thanks for the advice guys. It's much appreciated.

Skarekrow - I hadn't even considered the coast guard. It would definitely be a good fit, I grew up surfing after all. I'll have to ask about a waiting list, I hadn't even considered that. So how did you like the coast guard? How about being a paramedic? Were you fine with the quick pace and unpredictability?

Thanks for the support Toshytosay.

Thanks Solongotgon. I'm definitely weighing my options and my decisions carefully. As much as I hate my job, I can bare it for now and won't be leaning one way or another for a little while.

Thanks,
Ryan