Mommy Wars... Again SIGH*

[GracieRuth]

Why Why Why can't we just let a woman decide what is best for herself? If a woman wants a career in real estate, why not? If a woman wants to stay home and raise nine kids, why not?

Every woman is attacked by this latest attack on Ann Romney. She chose to be a mother to her five sons -- OMGosh that is a HARD job. How dare anyone criticize her for this choice. How dare anyone suggest that it is old fashioned or that her husband therefore looks down on women for supporting her choice. HONESTLY!!!!!!!

Every Shabbat, Jewish men bless their wives with a quote from Proverbs 31. It is interesting that this ideal of the woman of valor incorporates many elements both of the stay at home mom AND the career woman:

A woman of valor, who can find? Far beyond pearls is her value.
Her husband's heart trusts in her and he shall lack no fortune.
She repays his good, but never his harm, all the days of her life.
She seeks out wool and linen, and her hands work willingly,
She is like a merchant's ships; from afar she brings her sustenance.
She rises while it is still nighttime, and gives food to her household and a ration to her maids.
She considers a field and buys it; from the fruit of her handiwork she plants a vineyard.
She girds her loins with might and strengthens her arms.
She senses that her enterprise is good, so her lamp is not extinguished at night.
She puts her hand to the distaff, and her palms support the spindle.
She spreads out her palm to the poor and extends her hands to the destitute.
She fears not snow for her household, for her entire household is clothed with scarlet wool.
Bedspreads she makes herself; linen and purple wool are her clothing.
Well-known at the gates is her husband as he sits with the elders of the land.
Garments she makes and sells, and she delivers a belt to the peddler.
Strength and splendor are her clothing, and smilingly she awaits her last day.
She opens her mouth with Wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She anticipates the needs of her household, and the bread of idleness, she does not eat.
Her children rise and celebrate her; and her husband, he praises her:
"Many daughters have attained valor, but you have surpassed them all."
False is grace, and vain is beauty; a God-fearing woman, she should be praised.
Give her the fruit of her hands, and she will be praised at the gates by her very own deeds.

 

[Flavus Aquila]

Misanthropic lesbian feminists, consumed with a hateful envy of men cannot see value in anything unless a man can do it - and they rejoice if a woman can do it better.

Men cannot be mothers, nor wives - so misanthropic lesbian feminists will never see any value in those activities.



I think we should stop letting those haters from distorting and twisting our sense of satisfaction and value of life, however anyone lives it.

 

[this is only temporary]

That was a beautiful passage, Gracie Ruth, I just loved it!

And yes, I thought that comment about Ann Romney was out of line -- and I do not understand for the life of me why people would attack each other's lifestyle decisions like that. Anyone who has ever tried to raise children knows it is incredibly challenging. (I must say it is probably somewhat less challenging if you are a multi-millionaire, however.)

Though if they were all misanthropist lesbians, it seems logical that they would be nice to all women, and support them, instead of belittling them. Right? Because I thought that was the whole point of being a lesbian, that you like women.

I think it is just politics. In real life, most women do not belittle each other for working in or out of the home -- and most women with careers are not hateful to those who make their children their careers or who homeschool, or who downsize their career ambitions in favor of their familes, or do whatever works for them and their families.

I've done both, many of my friends have done both, we get along just fine, and 90% of people realize you do what you have to do, and there are significant sacrifices and challenges involved either way.

It makes about as much sense as telling someone they can't be gay, and has about as much effect on the belittler's life. None of their business. No effect on their life. They evidenlty just enjoy being holier-than-thou, it seems to me.

P.S. How exactly do I "gird my loins with might" like in the poem? just kidding. Sounds like Wonder woman.

 

[Faye]

Anyone who thinks 5 children isn't work obviously hasn't spent much time around children. It was an idiotic comment, and just about everyone knows it.

I wonder, though, how people would be acting if the situation were reversed: if a woman were running for president and had a husband who was a stay at home dad all his life. How would it affect their perception of her?

 

[Sriracha]

Aside from the "jewish men love their wives part of the OP" (which I have no clue why that has anything to do with Mitt Romney's wife), it is not just the fact that she has chosen to be a stay a home mother, but also the fact that b/c her husband does not have a 9 to 5 job she has to be available at all times to her kids. I have the same exact issue. What employer would be lenient with a mother who has to take off time during the summer, let alone when her children are sick? Not many, and if any are lenient I assure you they don't pay well enough to put the children in daycare.

 

[Lerxst]

The problem the media, news, politicians, etc have with Ann Romney has nothing to do with her decision to be a stay at home mom. It has to do her reasons for being able to do so. Having a multimillionaire husband who barely needs to lift a finger to make a few million dollars doesn't leave her a whole hell of a lot else to do. The fact that most woman can't do this and don't have that extreme level of security makes her completely out of touch with "normal" people in this country.

It's not that fact that she "chose to be" a stay at home mom, it's that fact that has the luxury to be one.

 

[Vicarious]

The problem the media, news, politicians, etc have with Ann Romney has nothing to do with her decision to be a stay at home mom. It has to do her reasons for being able to do so. Having a multimillionaire husband who barely needs to lift a finger to make a few million dollars doesn't leave her a whole hell of a lot else to do. The fact that most woman can't do this and don't have that extreme level of security makes her completely out of touch with "normal" people in this country.

It's not that fact that she "chose to be" a stay at home mom, it's that fact that has the luxury to be one.

Exactly! The comment was totally taken out of context. Ann Romney never had to make that grueling choice that most mothers have to make; whether to work and sacrifice time with her children or to stay home and sacrifice the extra income. Many of us don't have that luxury if we want to put food on the table and a roof over our kids' heads. That is definitely something the Romney's have never had to worry about. Ann Romney took advantage of that comment and later mocked how the public fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. Of course it's difficult raising children, try doing it as a single parent while also being the sole source of income. Her excuse is invalid.