Maintaining Friendships | INFJ Forum

Maintaining Friendships


Retired Staff
Mar 9, 2009
I've never been the most outgoing person (big understatement). Now that I am at college, I've actually made a nice number of friends. The question is this: how do you maintain friendships with so many people? I understand that they wont be intense or deep most of the time, but how would you maintain them like an extrovert would maintain them? In other words, how do you be extroverted?

I'm pretty clueless on this and don't know how to go about it. I would prefer to have a few close friends, but I don't think that is going to happen as much as I'd like it to.
Just be friendly most of the time. Seems to work for me. You will find that over time you will find a few people that you will really connect with and you will eventually just hang out with them. Having a lot of friends is fun just remember to recharge your batteries and have fun. If you feel overwhelmed back away a little and let the others talk and just listen. That's about all I can think of right now. I am sure there is something else to it too lol...
The amount of friends and aquantices I have amassed in college is crazy. As an introvert, I only have time for so many. There are really only 3 or 4 people out there that I will go out of my way to hang out with. The rest, I wait for them to come to me. When I was a freshmen, and part of sophmore year, I exausted alot of energy to try to maintain friendships with everyone I knew. I couldn't do it. I have let some people go as far as friendships go, but we have not forgotten each other. We still will keep in touch via facebook or something to that effect. Also, my circle of friends all interconnects in some way (I was lucky with the way that worked out), and as such I will run into them at group gatherings.

Really, I have learned that there isnt alot of effort required to maintain friendships. A simple text every few keeps the PR up when I need to be alone for a week. If you have cultivated a few close friends, they will seek you out as well. Because there is no real way to totally define and break down relations with people, the best bet is to just feel out a way that works. Not thinking about it so much, is really the best thing to do (as counter-intuitive as it is).
If you try to limit the number of your friends then it will be better for you. You will able to understand them, otherwise if you keep lot of you might get confused.

I think 6-7 best and close friends are fine.